When was the last time you really liked a person? If you're drawing a blank, like I did when I was asked that very question. Than I think we might have a slight problem. Think back to when you were in the 4th grade and you had a crush on that person in your class. That feeling was priceless trickery, games, fairy dust or copious amounts of alcohol weren't needed to obtain that feeling. All that was required was acknowledgement of your existence from said person, or them buying you one of those 15 cent dinosaurs erasers from the school store, it was as simple as that. You like them, and anytime you spent with them or anything they gave you was enough.
When we get older you're so focused on finding love, falling in love and falling out of love with someone. That we forget about actual liking this person, which in my opinion is just or if not more important than loving than person. You can love someone and not like them at the same time. For instance I love Jennifer Hudson, I think her voice is amazing and I think she looks great. For some reason I just don't really like her. This could be because her music material sucks, I hardly like any of her songs or it could be because I was always feel like she's in Effie White mode. Like in that Weight Watchers commercial, is it just me or is she yelling? It just always seems like she's yelling. I feel like she's being loud and sassy for no reason, just like Effie White. She needs to take it down a knot or two, Dreamgirls was 4 years ago, you can step out character now.
My point is loving someone and liking them isn't one and the same. You could love someone from a distance and once you two are in the same locality, it's a problem. Y'all are at each others throats and falling out of love, faster than Tiger Wood's fall from grace. This is where a lot of people miss the mark, they simply forgot about actually liking the person they're with. They forget about the simple things, like just wanting to be around that person while they're doing mundane things such as folding clothes, just actually enjoying spending time with them. I really believe that's what keeps people together over the years, liking someone little more than you love them. Love is a tricky puzzle that some never solve, you can love someone today and hate them tomorrow. People fall in and out of love everyday but what keeps them falling back in love with a person is that, they really like that person because that's what never really fades away.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Me and Babies
I've come to the realization that I just can't date a man with kids, I'm sorry (well not really) but if I meet a man with kids I'm running the other way. No matter how much I'm feeling him or he me, its just not going down like that. Some may say that's wrong of me not to give a dude a chance because he has kids, that he could be the man of my dreams. Well, if he has kids that dream is just gonna have to be deferred. Does that make me a b!tch ? I sure as hell don't think so, but for those who may think different allow me to explain myself.
I don't have any kids, I've taken the necessary precautions not to have any children. You want to know why that is? If I'm keeping it 100, I'm not ready for kids, I'm pretty sure that I don't want any at all and if I'm really being honest I really don't like kids. So why put myself (or him) in an uncomfortable and an all round unappealing situation. I'm just not a baby crazy kind of girl, I wasn't around a lot of babies growing up it was just my brother and me. Do I think babies are cute? Yeah for the most part (y'all know there are some ugly babies) but that doesn't mean that I want to take them home and have my own personal cabbage patch kid, please miss with that. I know I wouldn't make the best babysitter for some kid and if they aren't potty trained, forget about dropping that kid off at my house. I just don't do well with children and I've found that most of my encounters with them to be a hot a$$ mess. I like dealing with kids like going to the zoo. I can look at the animals think they're beautiful, interesting and a little smelly just like kids are to me. But at the end of the day I go home and leave the animals right where I found them and that's how I feel about kids.
Some of you are reading this and are thinking this selfish a$$ heffa. To that I may agree with you to an extent but at the end of the day it's my life. So if choosing vodka tonics, shoes, and bubble gum over paying for little Sarah's daycare makes me selfish. Than that's fine I'm SELFISH! Now this isn't a slight to people with kids, more power to you and if you're good parent that's really awesome. But to the person who chooses not to have kids, they shouldn't be perceived as selfish or an incomplete person because they don't want kids. When a woman says she does want kids or see them in her near future. The looks me she gets, its as if she said she murder a whole family and the dog, then proceeded to bury them in her backyard. A lot of the time when a women doesn't have/want kids, people see her as less of a woman. They're seen as less caring and nurturing, ummmm well once again you can miss me with that ish.
There is no law written that a person must have children before they die or their destiny won't be fulfilled. Also having 4-5 kids doesn't mean that person is a good person or a better person, all it means is that person is fertile as hell. A good woman knows when she isn't ready to have kids/or want them and makes the decision not to do so. As a matter of fact a lot people with kids shouldn't even be parents in the first place and maybe if they didn't have kids half of the people that are worldstarhiphop.com wouldn't be on there promoting ratchetness. So people all I'm saying is that everything ain't for everybody and that includes having children. So if I've chosen not to have kids at this point in my life, then why in the hell would I date a man with children? That's like ordering a beet salad but you're allergic to beets, that's just dumb! If I've gone out of my way not to have kids, why can't I seek out a man who's done the same thing?
Monday, February 21, 2011
We Could've Had It All
Have you ever run into someone and all you can do is just think about the things that could've been between the two of you? I mean you two could've really been great, like Jay and Bey or Ozzie and Ruby Dee. But at last things just didn't work out. I think everyone has a person like this in their life, I know I do. The reasons behind why you guys never worked out vary from person to person. For me it was timing, in this world timing is everything. If you're ten minutes late for a bus, you could miss out on the love of your life because he was on the bus you just missed.
Although I don't think life is a dramatic as what I just described, I really do believe timing is everything. With my situation we just meet in each at the wrong time, I think this happens with a lot of people. You meet someone and you hit it off, there's chemistry and whatnot. However something is wrong, you may not be able to put your finger on it but something is off. One of you is holding back (hell maybe its both of y'all), and the next level just can't be reached. All this could be happening because one of you just isn't ready to be in a relationship, maybe you had a really bad breakup before meeting this person. Or somebody just isn't ready to be in a relationship and all that is entails. Its all about timing, even if you meet the right person if its the wrong time things will be a beautiful disaster. So when you run into this person after the demise of your relationship, the feeling is always bittersweet because all you can think of is what could've been. You know the future was so bright for the two of you, its just to bad we live in the present.
Although I don't think life is a dramatic as what I just described, I really do believe timing is everything. With my situation we just meet in each at the wrong time, I think this happens with a lot of people. You meet someone and you hit it off, there's chemistry and whatnot. However something is wrong, you may not be able to put your finger on it but something is off. One of you is holding back (hell maybe its both of y'all), and the next level just can't be reached. All this could be happening because one of you just isn't ready to be in a relationship, maybe you had a really bad breakup before meeting this person. Or somebody just isn't ready to be in a relationship and all that is entails. Its all about timing, even if you meet the right person if its the wrong time things will be a beautiful disaster. So when you run into this person after the demise of your relationship, the feeling is always bittersweet because all you can think of is what could've been. You know the future was so bright for the two of you, its just to bad we live in the present.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Case Of The Ex
As I stated before I'm doing a series on men you shouldn't date, well today I want to talk about "The Ex". We all have them, whether they're from last week or ten years ago. We all have that one person who we can't exactly chuck to the side of the road as we can do with the rest of the men from our past, they're like little cockroaches no matter how much we try to exterminate them one always appears out of nowhere, they just don't stay away for too long. Ugh.... they're so annoying. Every time you think you're ready to close that chapter of your life, they'll send you a text, call you up, or even worst you run into them. It's like they have some kind of alarm that tells them, oh I think so and so may be really over me. Let me hit her up and see if she's really is.
Let me be the first to say that there's a reason that person is your ex, maybe he was a cheater, liar, or whatever the case is. Then again maybe he's a really nice person but he isn't the nice person for you. Now whether the relationship ended on good terms or you guys had the sh*ttyiest break up since Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston. It doesn't matter, all that matters is that you guys aren't together anymore. The ex is probably the worst guy you can date, why because you already dated him. The same problems you had before with him will still exist. People don't change for the most part, they just make adjustments. Just because you put some new paint on a car and got some rims but you didn't take the time get the transmission fixed, which is the real. That ish still won't work, you'll end with a pretty car on the outside but on the inside its only a matter of time before the bottom falls out and you're on the side of the road looking crazy.
A lot of the time you may have a new dude and even be over the situation with him or just him period. But what you may not realize that the ex has something over the new dude and until you build this up with some new dude, the ex will always have the upper hand. What this thing is comfortably, that comes with time you have to work up to that. The ex knows this which is why he does what he does and this is why I really can't stand the ex. He thinks he can get away with being a nuisance because he knows you and you him. That's why you're willing to deal with him to an extent or even sleep with him. Because unlike the new person in your life, you already know what you're going to get with your ex. He's already seen the good, bad, and the ugly side of you and still wanted to be apart of your life. Who's to say that the new dude will be so accepting, that's the thing with comfort its hard to achieve and even harder to let go of. I understand more than anyone but recycling a relationship with your ex, just isn't a good look. All you're doing is following a blueprint of debauchery that y'all created. Somethings need to stay in the past and your ex is probably one of those things. Living in the past usually means you'll be missing the present.
Let me be the first to say that there's a reason that person is your ex, maybe he was a cheater, liar, or whatever the case is. Then again maybe he's a really nice person but he isn't the nice person for you. Now whether the relationship ended on good terms or you guys had the sh*ttyiest break up since Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston. It doesn't matter, all that matters is that you guys aren't together anymore. The ex is probably the worst guy you can date, why because you already dated him. The same problems you had before with him will still exist. People don't change for the most part, they just make adjustments. Just because you put some new paint on a car and got some rims but you didn't take the time get the transmission fixed, which is the real. That ish still won't work, you'll end with a pretty car on the outside but on the inside its only a matter of time before the bottom falls out and you're on the side of the road looking crazy.
A lot of the time you may have a new dude and even be over the situation with him or just him period. But what you may not realize that the ex has something over the new dude and until you build this up with some new dude, the ex will always have the upper hand. What this thing is comfortably, that comes with time you have to work up to that. The ex knows this which is why he does what he does and this is why I really can't stand the ex. He thinks he can get away with being a nuisance because he knows you and you him. That's why you're willing to deal with him to an extent or even sleep with him. Because unlike the new person in your life, you already know what you're going to get with your ex. He's already seen the good, bad, and the ugly side of you and still wanted to be apart of your life. Who's to say that the new dude will be so accepting, that's the thing with comfort its hard to achieve and even harder to let go of. I understand more than anyone but recycling a relationship with your ex, just isn't a good look. All you're doing is following a blueprint of debauchery that y'all created. Somethings need to stay in the past and your ex is probably one of those things. Living in the past usually means you'll be missing the present.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Some New Rules
I didn't make any New Year's resolutions this year because I found the ones I wrote down last year and guess what? I did not accomplish not one damn thing on that list, its so sad I had such high hopes for 2010. Oh well, such is life so this year I decided not to set myself up for the okie doke and write some bs down on December 31st 2010, just to feel like a dumba$$ on December 31st 2011 because I didn't fulfill my hopes and dreams for the year. But the funny thing is I made a vision board this year, yeah I know its the same thing as writing down New Year resolutions but vision boards are a little different in my opinion. See the vision board is like a friendly reminder of the things you want out of life for the year, just a little motivation like yeah girl you can do it. Resolutions on the other hand are harsh reminders of things you ain't doing. The voice is shrill and unpleasant, and the motivation is more on the lines of b*tch what is your life about?
Even though I don't have any resolutions this year I have adopted a couple of mottos with one of them being "If you ain't rocking, you'll be rollin". I heard someone say this in passing and I love it. Now my definition of this quote is that, I will no longer deal with or put up with other people's ish. Not in 2011, this year is about me and what I want out of life. Its kind like if you're not with me, you're against me. This is about not dealing with people who don't support you or don't want the same things out of life as you. Its about removing toxic things and people from your life, its about not taking on everybody's problems as if their your own. Its about putting yourself first sometimes.
Now sometimes you can't exactly remove certain people from your life, for whatever reason but that doesn't mean you have to really f@ck with them on the same level as you've always have. Taking on this motto might bring on some backlash by those who won't be rollin, but really who gives a flying f@ck about them. They may label you as a b%tch and that's fine, I'll be that because as my aunt says " B%tches get paid and h*es just get laid". All I'm saying is that everyone isn't suppose to travel down this road we call life with you, some folks need to be dropped of at the nearest rest stop. A lot of the time these people will have you going the wrong direction and just make the journey a whole lot more unpleasant than it needs to be. The road to happiness is always under construction.
Even though I don't have any resolutions this year I have adopted a couple of mottos with one of them being "If you ain't rocking, you'll be rollin". I heard someone say this in passing and I love it. Now my definition of this quote is that, I will no longer deal with or put up with other people's ish. Not in 2011, this year is about me and what I want out of life. Its kind like if you're not with me, you're against me. This is about not dealing with people who don't support you or don't want the same things out of life as you. Its about removing toxic things and people from your life, its about not taking on everybody's problems as if their your own. Its about putting yourself first sometimes.
Now sometimes you can't exactly remove certain people from your life, for whatever reason but that doesn't mean you have to really f@ck with them on the same level as you've always have. Taking on this motto might bring on some backlash by those who won't be rollin, but really who gives a flying f@ck about them. They may label you as a b%tch and that's fine, I'll be that because as my aunt says " B%tches get paid and h*es just get laid". All I'm saying is that everyone isn't suppose to travel down this road we call life with you, some folks need to be dropped of at the nearest rest stop. A lot of the time these people will have you going the wrong direction and just make the journey a whole lot more unpleasant than it needs to be. The road to happiness is always under construction.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Does It Really Have To Be So Hard?
Love, what does it mean to? Wait. Don't answer that, to some people love is just like a page out of the "The Notebook". I love this movie, I really do but I think it puts an unrealistic twist on love. This movie and ones like it, where two people meet, fall desperately in love and then their love is torn apart in the most outlandish fashion. Then someone makes a grand gesture such standing outside of their one and only's window with a boom box over their head, like in "Say Anything" ( btw "Say Anything" is one of the greatest romantic movies ever). First of all who does that in real life? I'll tell you who, nobody or 14 year old lovestruck boys. Then the movie ends with, boy and girl may or may not end up together. The common theme through a lot of these movies is the couple go through sooooo much agony and pain, just to get to the pleasure. All I'm saying is that sometimes pleasure isn't pain, its just plain and simple pain.
See theses movies, book, and TV has got people going around thinking love and has got to be this emotional roller coaster full of twist and turns for people to believe that they're really in love with the other person. Like some epic ish has got to happen for it to be real. Look that's the movies. You're not Allie and he's not Noah, nobody is going to build you a house just to get over the pain of losing you. Stop living your life like an episode of Friends, where you Rachel and he's Ross and y'all spend ten years tip-toing around the idea of really being together. Even though they got together in the end, look and all the bs they went through to get to that point. The breakups, the makeups, it was just too much.
I just don't think love has to be that hard and painful, even if the pain is exquisite. Relationships are hard and everyday isn't going to be rainbows and butterflies. It's like anything else in life, you get out of it what you put in it. But if you're breaking your backing and busting your balls trying to make that thing work, well maybe you aren't in love with the right person. That right there is what the movies never tell you.
See theses movies, book, and TV has got people going around thinking love and has got to be this emotional roller coaster full of twist and turns for people to believe that they're really in love with the other person. Like some epic ish has got to happen for it to be real. Look that's the movies. You're not Allie and he's not Noah, nobody is going to build you a house just to get over the pain of losing you. Stop living your life like an episode of Friends, where you Rachel and he's Ross and y'all spend ten years tip-toing around the idea of really being together. Even though they got together in the end, look and all the bs they went through to get to that point. The breakups, the makeups, it was just too much.
I just don't think love has to be that hard and painful, even if the pain is exquisite. Relationships are hard and everyday isn't going to be rainbows and butterflies. It's like anything else in life, you get out of it what you put in it. But if you're breaking your backing and busting your balls trying to make that thing work, well maybe you aren't in love with the right person. That right there is what the movies never tell you.
The Most Annoying Question Ever
"So why are you single?" Ladies and gentlemen what we have here is the most irritating question that anyone can ask me. Why is that the case? Well because when somebody asks you this question its a trap. What they really want to know is, what the hell is wrong with you that nobody wants you? How do you even answer a question like that?
I could tell you I haven't met the right person or maybe I did meet the right person but I wasn't ready to meet him or him me. That the timing wasn't right, I sabotage things for whatever reason, or my dating skills are about as great as Fantasia's reading skills(before her GED). It could be because I live in Atlanta (to those who live here you may know what I mean) the truth lies somewhere in between these things. My usual answer to this question is because I'm not married or because I'm flying above being some man's wife just to say I'm his wife. But my personal favorite answer is "why are you asking ?" This response throws the person off because what they really want you to do is give a synopsis of your dating history so they can judge it and you simultaneously. If that's what you want to do than I suggest you watch an episode of Law and Order, there's a crime committed, a trial takes place and a judgement is handed out all within a hour and you can judge for yourself if the crime fits the punishment.
See a lot of the time people rush into relationships/marriages because they're tired of being single. They want to bring someone to cousin Mary's wedding because they want to void questions such as the one previously stated or being placed at the singles table. Now that's just a shame, a lot of the time people get married because they've been together forever and marriage is the next logical step. You know I've been told I sometimes live my life like a Disney fairytale and I'm also told that this is unrealistic because we all know life is not like a fairytale. Well I'm just fine with that because if I do get married I want it to be like a fairy tale and believe we'll live happily ever after, because he wanted to marry me and didn't just marry me because he figured I served enough time as his girlfriend. I'm sorry I'll prefer to have my head in the clouds, rather that than the reality of most which is that they're doing a 20- 30 bid and hoping they get paroled any day now.
I could tell you I haven't met the right person or maybe I did meet the right person but I wasn't ready to meet him or him me. That the timing wasn't right, I sabotage things for whatever reason, or my dating skills are about as great as Fantasia's reading skills(before her GED). It could be because I live in Atlanta (to those who live here you may know what I mean) the truth lies somewhere in between these things. My usual answer to this question is because I'm not married or because I'm flying above being some man's wife just to say I'm his wife. But my personal favorite answer is "why are you asking ?" This response throws the person off because what they really want you to do is give a synopsis of your dating history so they can judge it and you simultaneously. If that's what you want to do than I suggest you watch an episode of Law and Order, there's a crime committed, a trial takes place and a judgement is handed out all within a hour and you can judge for yourself if the crime fits the punishment.
See a lot of the time people rush into relationships/marriages because they're tired of being single. They want to bring someone to cousin Mary's wedding because they want to void questions such as the one previously stated or being placed at the singles table. Now that's just a shame, a lot of the time people get married because they've been together forever and marriage is the next logical step. You know I've been told I sometimes live my life like a Disney fairytale and I'm also told that this is unrealistic because we all know life is not like a fairytale. Well I'm just fine with that because if I do get married I want it to be like a fairy tale and believe we'll live happily ever after, because he wanted to marry me and didn't just marry me because he figured I served enough time as his girlfriend. I'm sorry I'll prefer to have my head in the clouds, rather that than the reality of most which is that they're doing a 20- 30 bid and hoping they get paroled any day now.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Its About Forgiveness
I used to be one not big on forgiveness, I was of those people that held on to grudges like Lebron is trying to hold on to his hairline. You know, if I got into it with a person and it got to the point where I didn't want to even talk to the person, said person was dead to me. No matter how much the other party was willing to make amends, I just wouldn't have any part in that. I would just stay mad at them and even when my anger towards them subsided, I still put up a front towards them because in mind my reconciling with them would mean they won. I just couldn't give them that satisfaction, what can I say I'm a Taurus and I'm stubborn like that.
Then one day I kind of had an epiphany, with the help of my mom. See me and my real dad don't have the best relationship. So without really going into the semantics of our relationship, let's just say there's some huge cultural differences (my dad's Nigerian). Me and him didn't speak to one another for about four years, I remember one time he called my house and wanted to talk to my mom, I answered the phone and took the message he wanted to pass along to my mom. And during this 1 minute exchange neither one of us acknowledged one another, he might as well had been talking to an answering machine. There was no how are our you doing on both of our parts, in fact I don't even think I said bye I just hung up and I never do that. Even after I guess my dad got over his anger and decided to call me on my 21st birthday, I was still angry and I just pretended not to be when we would speak. I just wasn't ready to let go of my anger. I guess he realized that and we spoke less and less, until we weren't speaking at all again. One day my mom told me I had to forgive him and let go of my anger, and that doing that would set me free. It may not make my relationship with him better but it would make me better, because carrying all the anger wasn't healthy and it just took entirely too much energy. So I let go of it and I'm not saying me and my dad's relationship is great, but at least I don't want to hang up the phone when he calls. That's progress people.
When you forgive somebody, there's always the chance they may or may not forgive you back. So don't do it to get back into that person's good graces. Do it for yourself. When you stay mad or carry around grudges against someone, you allow that person to have power over you, even if that person or you doesn't realize they have this power or not, its there. When you roll your eyes whenever someone mentions their name or how you give them the silent treatment when you're in their presence, that's the power they have over you and that's energy you're wasting on someone that may or may not be worth it. So my suggestion is to just build a bridge and get over it, forgive that person and let it go. No matter how big or small their transgression may be. You don't even have to tell that person you forgave them, nor do you have to be friends with them after you forgive them. Just get past the anger and the hurt and keep it moving. Folks say life is a journey, so travel light it'll make life easier.
Then one day I kind of had an epiphany, with the help of my mom. See me and my real dad don't have the best relationship. So without really going into the semantics of our relationship, let's just say there's some huge cultural differences (my dad's Nigerian). Me and him didn't speak to one another for about four years, I remember one time he called my house and wanted to talk to my mom, I answered the phone and took the message he wanted to pass along to my mom. And during this 1 minute exchange neither one of us acknowledged one another, he might as well had been talking to an answering machine. There was no how are our you doing on both of our parts, in fact I don't even think I said bye I just hung up and I never do that. Even after I guess my dad got over his anger and decided to call me on my 21st birthday, I was still angry and I just pretended not to be when we would speak. I just wasn't ready to let go of my anger. I guess he realized that and we spoke less and less, until we weren't speaking at all again. One day my mom told me I had to forgive him and let go of my anger, and that doing that would set me free. It may not make my relationship with him better but it would make me better, because carrying all the anger wasn't healthy and it just took entirely too much energy. So I let go of it and I'm not saying me and my dad's relationship is great, but at least I don't want to hang up the phone when he calls. That's progress people.
When you forgive somebody, there's always the chance they may or may not forgive you back. So don't do it to get back into that person's good graces. Do it for yourself. When you stay mad or carry around grudges against someone, you allow that person to have power over you, even if that person or you doesn't realize they have this power or not, its there. When you roll your eyes whenever someone mentions their name or how you give them the silent treatment when you're in their presence, that's the power they have over you and that's energy you're wasting on someone that may or may not be worth it. So my suggestion is to just build a bridge and get over it, forgive that person and let it go. No matter how big or small their transgression may be. You don't even have to tell that person you forgave them, nor do you have to be friends with them after you forgive them. Just get past the anger and the hurt and keep it moving. Folks say life is a journey, so travel light it'll make life easier.
Monday, February 7, 2011
"Guys You Shouldn't Date: The Poser"
I'm going to start a little series on here called, "Guys You Shouldn't Date", first up is the poser. I don't know about everyone else but I've come across this guy a few times in my lifetime, especially living in Atlanta. For those who don't live here this place is a breeding ground for the poser in this land of make believe and fairytales. Everyone is a star here trying to outshine the next star, everybody is some damn body, its really black Hollywood out here. Here you can be a model and your only gig is a 2.5 second shot in Waka Flocka's latest video or a rapper with about as many songs as Ja rule has currently on the radio, its crazy out here.
See the poser is the guy claims to know everything and everybody. He's a business man but is very elusive about what he does exactly. If you ask, he'll tell you some ish like, I'm in the import/export, business, I'm a consultant, or the classic line I do promotions. The poser is always doing something or as they're like to say "making moves." They either just getting on or off a plane, as if they're Barack Obama or somebody. But then they call/text you at 2:30pm on a Tuesday asking you what are you doing? N@gga I'm at work, what the hell are you doing, shouldn't you be making moves?
Another thing about the poser is that the times you are available like at 8:00pm they're at a business meeting of some sorts or at the the office, dude be staying at the office more than Steve Carell, GTFOH. He knows everybody, you'll say something like "Oh I like Young Jeezy's new song", his reply " Yeah me and my business partner had dinner with him the other night at Spondivits", *side eye*. Really? When I hear mess like this I translate it as you possibly got to hang out with Jeezy because your boy is his weed carrier. All I said was I like his song, who asked for all that extra info? They always like to volunteer information nobody asked for. But the real way to figure out a poser is just listen to him, because his lies never add up. I suppose he thinks your dumb or either crazy.
Now see Atlanta is a different kind of place a lot of dudes think most girls are on that groupie ish, and a lot girls are, so to a fault I can't be mad at the poser. Due to the fact that some girls fall for that hat trick and really think the poser has big thangs poppin ,' I can't blame him for his actions. So I'm going to speak for me and girls like me, you can miss me with that ish because I see through all that hocus pocus mess. And yeah I may entertain your a$$ sometimes but I'm not really going with f*ck like that because your full of sh%t. I don't want to hear about your $500 Brooks Brothers shoes or how you were poppin' bottles of Ace of Spades with Trey Songz at the club. That doesn't impress me. You having a 401k and contributing to it regularly, NOW that's impressive! Ladies you've been warned, the poser is a waste of time and space. Check his a$$ and tell him he's going have to come a little better than that.
See the poser is the guy claims to know everything and everybody. He's a business man but is very elusive about what he does exactly. If you ask, he'll tell you some ish like, I'm in the import/export, business, I'm a consultant, or the classic line I do promotions. The poser is always doing something or as they're like to say "making moves." They either just getting on or off a plane, as if they're Barack Obama or somebody. But then they call/text you at 2:30pm on a Tuesday asking you what are you doing? N@gga I'm at work, what the hell are you doing, shouldn't you be making moves?
Another thing about the poser is that the times you are available like at 8:00pm they're at a business meeting of some sorts or at the the office, dude be staying at the office more than Steve Carell, GTFOH. He knows everybody, you'll say something like "Oh I like Young Jeezy's new song", his reply " Yeah me and my business partner had dinner with him the other night at Spondivits", *side eye*. Really? When I hear mess like this I translate it as you possibly got to hang out with Jeezy because your boy is his weed carrier. All I said was I like his song, who asked for all that extra info? They always like to volunteer information nobody asked for. But the real way to figure out a poser is just listen to him, because his lies never add up. I suppose he thinks your dumb or either crazy.
Now see Atlanta is a different kind of place a lot of dudes think most girls are on that groupie ish, and a lot girls are, so to a fault I can't be mad at the poser. Due to the fact that some girls fall for that hat trick and really think the poser has big thangs poppin ,' I can't blame him for his actions. So I'm going to speak for me and girls like me, you can miss me with that ish because I see through all that hocus pocus mess. And yeah I may entertain your a$$ sometimes but I'm not really going with f*ck like that because your full of sh%t. I don't want to hear about your $500 Brooks Brothers shoes or how you were poppin' bottles of Ace of Spades with Trey Songz at the club. That doesn't impress me. You having a 401k and contributing to it regularly, NOW that's impressive! Ladies you've been warned, the poser is a waste of time and space. Check his a$$ and tell him he's going have to come a little better than that.
Friday, February 4, 2011
The Problem That is Ciara
Disclaimer: If you are a Ciara stan, you'll be offended
As you can tell from the title I don't particularly care for Ciara, I don't hate her she just makes me scratch my head in confusion a lot of the time. I do have some of her music on my ipod but would I pay my hard earned money in see her in concert, HELL NO! I believe that this girl's days as a recording artist are numbered, and I'll tell you why. After releasing her last two albums that barely went tin foil let alone platinum, her music career is sinking faster than the Titanic. I believe that the ship started to sink with the release of her 3rd cd Fantasy Ride, or as I like to call it "the MARTA train wreck." I don't think this cd made a blip on anybody's radar, hell I had to goggle to see what singles were released off it. The only one worth mentioning is that song with Young Jeezy and that was a hot a$$ mess.
So she goes back into studio with The Hambuglar The-Dream (somebody tell this man to stop buying his clothes of the little boys section of H&M) to create her album Basic Instinct, that was suppose to put her back on the map as one of R&B's elite again. Well that didn't exactly go as planned, she literally fell off the map with this one. The first single Ride barely made it on the top 200 charts. Well that should've been a sign there, maybe she should stop making this valley girl/pop music and go back to basics: you know the princess of Crunk (even though Crunk is dead). I understand that artist sometimes want to change the direction of their music, okay but when the direction goes all the way to the left from where you started, your original fans don't always follow this new direction and just lose interest. Ciara was trying to be Beyonce, Rhianna, and Lady Gaga all in one, and in my opinion she just lost her way. Although I didn't really like the song Ride, the dancing in video was hot!! So hot in fact that BET banned the video, really BET?? Of all the f*ckery on this station, this is what y'all chose to ban.
Well as some of you know this album went on to sell 35k its first week out, to say that this was a disappointment would be a gross understatement. Now I could give my own little theories as to why this happened, no promotion, weak material, blah blah. But what it boils down to is that her time in the sun is just over, people are just over her. How many times can recycle the same types of songs but just with a different beat? Girl how many times am I going have to see you do that damn matrix dance move in your videos? And the real underlined problem with her is that she can't sing worth a damn. I never looked at Ciara and thought 20 years from now Willow Smith or somebody is going to honoring this girl at the Soul Train awards. I just don't see that in her future.
But what really prompted me to write this post was Ciara (who will now be referred to as the little engine that could) was her response to her dismal record sales. This child said she wasn't worried about it (girl tell that tale to somebody who believes you) because she makes her money touring. Then she likened herself to Madonna by saying, Madonna current music doesn't really sale but she sells out arenas worldwide and that's how real artist make their money. They're so many blasphemy comments here, where do I begin. First of all little engine if nobody is buying your music, who in the hell is coming to your shows??? *crickets*. Honestly, I don't even think at this point she could sell out a high school gym, let alone Madison Square Garden. What little engine fails to understand is that, people like Madonna and Janet Jackson can sell out arenas because they're legends. People go to see them for their whole body of work, not the new stuff. Little engine your body of work consist of goodies and promise, so please 1,2, step your a$$ to the closest exit because you're out of your hot damn mind to even compare yourself to Madonna (I love her).
So I've come up with a couple of things that little engine can do instead of music. 1) become the next boom cat/Laurie Ann Gibson. This girl can dance her a$$ off there's no denying that or just open a dance studio. 2) make a work-out dvd because I'll buy two copies of that, 3) open up a chain of beauty supply stores, or 4) maybe just be a model. Look I'm sure little engine is going to make more music because its probably always been her dream to be a singer, and I'm really not trying to be a dream-slayer here. All I'm saying she that the girl has other alternatives and she really might want to look into them. Especially since Beyonce is coming back this year to snatch wigs and cut throats, hell she gave everybody a year to get it together. Ummm good luck with your career girl.
As you can tell from the title I don't particularly care for Ciara, I don't hate her she just makes me scratch my head in confusion a lot of the time. I do have some of her music on my ipod but would I pay my hard earned money in see her in concert, HELL NO! I believe that this girl's days as a recording artist are numbered, and I'll tell you why. After releasing her last two albums that barely went tin foil let alone platinum, her music career is sinking faster than the Titanic. I believe that the ship started to sink with the release of her 3rd cd Fantasy Ride, or as I like to call it "the MARTA train wreck." I don't think this cd made a blip on anybody's radar, hell I had to goggle to see what singles were released off it. The only one worth mentioning is that song with Young Jeezy and that was a hot a$$ mess.
So she goes back into studio with The Hambuglar The-Dream (somebody tell this man to stop buying his clothes of the little boys section of H&M) to create her album Basic Instinct, that was suppose to put her back on the map as one of R&B's elite again. Well that didn't exactly go as planned, she literally fell off the map with this one. The first single Ride barely made it on the top 200 charts. Well that should've been a sign there, maybe she should stop making this valley girl/pop music and go back to basics: you know the princess of Crunk (even though Crunk is dead). I understand that artist sometimes want to change the direction of their music, okay but when the direction goes all the way to the left from where you started, your original fans don't always follow this new direction and just lose interest. Ciara was trying to be Beyonce, Rhianna, and Lady Gaga all in one, and in my opinion she just lost her way. Although I didn't really like the song Ride, the dancing in video was hot!! So hot in fact that BET banned the video, really BET?? Of all the f*ckery on this station, this is what y'all chose to ban.
Well as some of you know this album went on to sell 35k its first week out, to say that this was a disappointment would be a gross understatement. Now I could give my own little theories as to why this happened, no promotion, weak material, blah blah. But what it boils down to is that her time in the sun is just over, people are just over her. How many times can recycle the same types of songs but just with a different beat? Girl how many times am I going have to see you do that damn matrix dance move in your videos? And the real underlined problem with her is that she can't sing worth a damn. I never looked at Ciara and thought 20 years from now Willow Smith or somebody is going to honoring this girl at the Soul Train awards. I just don't see that in her future.
But what really prompted me to write this post was Ciara (who will now be referred to as the little engine that could) was her response to her dismal record sales. This child said she wasn't worried about it (girl tell that tale to somebody who believes you) because she makes her money touring. Then she likened herself to Madonna by saying, Madonna current music doesn't really sale but she sells out arenas worldwide and that's how real artist make their money. They're so many blasphemy comments here, where do I begin. First of all little engine if nobody is buying your music, who in the hell is coming to your shows??? *crickets*. Honestly, I don't even think at this point she could sell out a high school gym, let alone Madison Square Garden. What little engine fails to understand is that, people like Madonna and Janet Jackson can sell out arenas because they're legends. People go to see them for their whole body of work, not the new stuff. Little engine your body of work consist of goodies and promise, so please 1,2, step your a$$ to the closest exit because you're out of your hot damn mind to even compare yourself to Madonna (I love her).
So I've come up with a couple of things that little engine can do instead of music. 1) become the next boom cat/Laurie Ann Gibson. This girl can dance her a$$ off there's no denying that or just open a dance studio. 2) make a work-out dvd because I'll buy two copies of that, 3) open up a chain of beauty supply stores, or 4) maybe just be a model. Look I'm sure little engine is going to make more music because its probably always been her dream to be a singer, and I'm really not trying to be a dream-slayer here. All I'm saying she that the girl has other alternatives and she really might want to look into them. Especially since Beyonce is coming back this year to snatch wigs and cut throats, hell she gave everybody a year to get it together. Ummm good luck with your career girl.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
On The Downlow, Well Maybe Not
I was watching a video on youtube by Ray Daniels http://youtu.be/wJEoiLA0GeU (he has a channel on there, its hilarious check it out) on this particular episode he talked about his theory about men on the downlow. What he basically said was that men on the downlow don't exist and I agree with him 110%. Why is that? Because the women who are with these men know they're GAY, they just overlooked the signs of their gayness. These women have always had suspicions about their men, they didn't just walk in on these men giving the pool-boy backshots one day and were shocked beyond belief that their man was gay. Girl bye, you knew this information before hand and just chose to ignore it. There are always signs, the signs are all around you, its in your gut just follow it. Now I could go into detail about suspect behavior of your possibly gay man because I would like to think my gaydar is pretty on point ( I do live in Atlanta and your gaydar needs to be updated every two weeks here). But that's not what this is about, but I will give you few. If your man takes two hours to get ready and you take one, and y'all started to get ready at the same time something ain't right. If your man is to into his body, especially if he's always fixated on his a$$, there's a problem. Okay, here's the last one if you get in your man's car and his cd collection consist of these people Beyonce, Keyshia Cole, Keri Hilson or insert whatever female artist you like, then its a wrap dude is gay. There are always signs and if you even question this dude's sexuality even for a second, well my dear your man is probably gay. Because wherever there's a little smoke there's fire.
Remember when Terry McMillan got her a$$ on Oprah's couch with her husband and sat up there with him next to her with his lip gloss poppin and eyebrows arched sky high, and wanted us to believe that she was married for 8 years (I'm not sure how long they were married) to this man and didn't know he was gay? Girl get the f*ck out of here, we don't believe you, you need more people. A lot of women dealing with these suspect men, in my opinion are so desperate for a man, that they'll take any, man even a gay one. Their reasoning for this, hell if I know. Maybe they're that girl that always has to have somebody or cue Beyonce... they're scared of lonely. Whatever the case may be these women know what they're doing and who they're doing it with. Nobody can hide their true colors forever, eventually you'll show tell-tell signs of who you really are. Sometimes they're blatant and other times they're subtle but they're signs nevertheless.
Now do I think that men can be in the closet about their sexuality? Of course! Some men are so deep in the closet they're finding last year's Christmas presents. And to these men I say come out and free yourself and the rest will follow. Its 2011 nobody cares if you're gay, and if they do well f*ck them. Be who you are and stop trying to repress who you are, who wants to live that way? Now to the women that deal with these men even though you see the signs and choose to overlook them, I'm calling you out too. Now if you chose to live this lie and carry on with this dude even though you know in your heart he's gay. Whether you ever admit your suspicions to anyone or not, your a$$ knows he's gay because you're both after the same thing which is d%ck. And you know how it feels to chase it and so does he because you see him chasing it in front of your eyes. So if you chose to be this man's beard that's fine. But no longer can you play the victim and get on your soapbox talking about this man deceived you, and you had no idea he was gay, after you caught him slobbing on Ben's knob, girl tell that tale to somebody else that believes you to because you gets no love over here.
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