Back to School

So as a part of me Getting Focused….. I decided to go back to school!! In fact my class starts today. Well let me expound on this because it’s not like going away to Stanford or anything. I applied to this online program to get my Master’s in Food Science and I got wait listed (I don’t even want to get into drama behind that), therefore I’m taking a classes that will count towards my Master’s as I try to get off the wait list. I will say applying and the process of signing up for the class has been more annoying than watching an episode of the Wendy Williams Show. First the application process was just so extra for me, I forgot what it was like applying to college and forgot how much of a nuisance it was. Then when I got waitlisted…. I got super emotional and was about to say fuck it to the whole process but then I calmed my ass down and decided to take this graduate course anyway.

Then came the joy of figuring out how to pay for the class and I just want to say tuition and fees are no fucking joke!! Let's not even talk about the scam of college textbook.... its like a damn ponzi scheme. Since I’m paying for this class out of pocket…. The shit is real depressing. When I realized how much it was going to cost and I almost said fuck this shit once again because paying for school is going to cut into my moving out fund. Then I really sat and thought about it and realized that this class is going to help me in the long run and if I want different results I was going to have to do things differently. Basically you have to sometimes sacrifice things to accomplish your goals, and this paying out of pocket was my sacrifice. I also had to answer questions to my Father about going back to school…. If you knew my father you would know this wasn’t an easy task. My Father somehow thinks to my life resembles that of Nicole Richie circa 2003, with a twist of Hannah from Girls. He basically thinks I’m wasting my life away, doing whatever the hell I'm doing. In his opinion I need to apply to a more prestigious program i.e. Harvard, Yale, Duke and go to school full time and get my PhD. He doesn’t think this program through the school (which is a public University in the state I live) is good enough, he doesn’t understand the concept of online classes, he thinks I’m going to Everest College or something, no shade to whom ever goes to Everest College. I told him the problem with his plan was the schools he’s talking about don’t even have the program I’m getting my Master's in. Who the hell is going to pay for me to go to Yale, Harvard, or Duke, assuming they even let my ass in? I’m not 23 I can’t stop working and be a full time student I have bills.Finally, that's he's plan for me not mine.... If a wanted to go to medical school or law school okay yeah, you kinda have to be a full time student but that ain’t what I want to do. So therefore I had to get off the phone with him before I told him to get the hell on with that BS on Christmas morning.

My point is that sometimes you just have to push forward with the things you want out of life even when things seem bleak and people are as supportive as a training bra on Pamela Anderson. I wanted to just say fuck this school shit like 3 times before I was like okay I’ll try this and like Usher I'm going to do this My Way and not my dad's way. Actually other than my Dad everyone else in my life was been very supportive about this decision and honestly my Dad’s opinion hasn’t been that important since Jennifer Aniston was still playing Rachel Green on Friends. I’m nervous about going back to school… because well I’ve out of school for awhile and I’m not as discipline as I was when I was in college but hopefully it will be like riding a bike. So friends if you’re trying to accomplish a goal this year or whenever just push forward with it, and don’t let things, other people or most importantly yourself get in the way. Most of the time we are our own biggest enemies, we have to stop being our own roadblocks and even if do come across ones on our journeys. There’s always a detour it may be harder to find and take you way out of the damn way but it still gets you to your destination.  

Some New Rules

I didn't make any New Year's resolutions this year because I found the ones I wrote down last year and guess what? I did not accomplish not one damn thing on that list, its so sad I had such high hopes for 2010.  Oh well, such is life so this year I decided not to set myself up for the okie doke and write some bs down on December 31st 2010, just to feel like a dumba$$ on December 31st 2011 because I didn't fulfill my hopes and dreams for the year. But the funny thing is I made a vision board this year,  yeah I know its the same thing as writing down New Year resolutions but vision boards are a little different in my opinion. See  the vision board is like a friendly reminder of the things you want out of life for the year, just a little motivation like yeah girl you can do it. Resolutions on the other hand are harsh reminders of things you ain't doing. The voice is shrill and unpleasant, and the motivation is more on the lines of b*tch what is your life about?

Even though I don't have any resolutions this year I have adopted a couple of mottos with one of them being "If you ain't rocking, you'll be rollin". I heard someone say this in passing and I love it. Now my definition of this quote is that, I will no longer deal with or put up with other people's ish. Not in 2011, this year is about me and what I want out of life. Its kind like if you're not with me, you're against me. This is about not dealing with people who don't support you or don't want the same things out of life as you. Its about removing toxic things and people from your life, its about not taking on everybody's problems as if their your own. Its about putting yourself first sometimes.

Now sometimes you can't exactly remove certain people from your life, for whatever reason but that doesn't mean you have to really f@ck with them on the same level as you've always have. Taking on this motto might bring on some backlash by those who won't be rollin, but really who gives a flying f@ck about them. They may label you as a b%tch and that's fine, I'll be that because as my aunt says " B%tches  get paid and h*es just get laid". All I'm saying is that everyone isn't suppose to travel down this road we call life with you, some folks need to be dropped of at the nearest rest stop. A lot of the time these people will have you going the wrong direction and just make the journey a whole lot more unpleasant than it needs to be.  The road to happiness is always under construction.