The Gray Area

So there I was sitting in this bar sipping my vodka tonic next to the guy I've been somewhat dating for the past couple of months. Someone comes up and starts talking to him and he introduces me to them and says "Hey...this is my girl Brittany". Lord I wish someone had taken a picture of my face when he said that. I'm sure I had the WTF face going on, it was a face of shock and utter confusion and not one of excitement (and not because I don't like him). Notice how I said me and this guy have been somewhat dating. Not we're officially dating like we're headed to the chapel and we're going to get married.  Yes we're dating but there's no titles to this situation we have going here, and that's really no shade it's the truth. I still date other people (although not as frequently) and I assume he does as well. Although I never ask him if that's the case. So when he said that I literally almost fell off the bar stool because I didn't know we were as I would've said in the 5th grade, we went together. 

After the person stepped away, he turned to me and said he said I was his girl because it was easier say than telling the truth. Which as I explained earlier we're dating with no definition. Although I did point out to him that he could've said I was his friend. His reply was that he sees more than a friend... ladies and gentlemen this is what I like to call the gray area.  This is a particular point in dating that is oh so very ambiguous, confusing, and a little tiresome. What I mean by that is; you and this person are seeing each other and at some point its on a more frequent and regular basis but you can't flat out say this person is your boyfriend/girlfriend. Y'all are just kickin' it and seeing where things go, like a damn plastic bag floating in the air.... there's no clear direction. The confusing and frustrating part comes into play because well like in my particular case and like many other people's, there no real conversation has taken place about what the fuck is going on. Nobody wants to rock the boat or work the middle, and start that whole "where are things going?" convo. This is where the gray area comes into play. You can't get mad if that person flirts or whatever the fuck else with other people because that's not your bf/gf. You can't cuss him/her out to the highest degree because they do something you perceive as shady or whatever. I mean you can but that person can throw that we ain't together card in your face and they would not be in the wrong to do so. While you can point out how certain things may or may not upset you; you can't get all the way into your feelings about certain things. Well you can but I suggest you do that shit at home and check certain feelings at the door. That poker face has to be stronger than Lady Gaga's but maybe that's just me and I'm stubborn person. 

The gray area isn't a place I like to be in for long extended periods of time... I'm a black and white kind of girl. Although I realize the gray area exist for a reason, it definitely has its benefits as well. The time spent in the gray area can be used to see how you really feel about the person you're dealing with. If this person is really worth your time and effort, if they're just a little crush,  something to do to pass the time until cuffin' season is over or if this is the real deal. This is the time where you decide if this is a black or white situation, if you should let it go like Keyshia Cole or hold on to your love like En Vogue. I think the frustration with the gray area comes with the initiation of that dreaded conversation " where is this going"? Its such a loaded question. A question that can't be asked too soon because well you may come off as thirsty, needy, or clingy and who the hell wants to be that person? If the question is asked too late, there's the chance the other party has just mentally moved on from the situation and has just over it and you. The gray area..... a place where people's true colors don't always come shining through, what's a girl to do?