I Do It For The Ratchets

Last weekend I got the chance to attend a concert basically for free. The artist I went to go see was Tyga. I can't say I'm a fan of his music and that's not to say I don't enjoy some of his songs because for like a month Rack City was the song that would come on in the club that got me all the way turned up. Anyway while at this concert I noticed a few things.

1) These kids today are definitely doing it differently than when I was a teenager.  The concert's population was largely comprised of teenagers, now I don't know if that was because this was a Tyga concert and his fan base is made up of mostly pop tarts or because the Chicago teacher strike was still going on and these kids didn't have class on Monday. Either way that place reeked of teen spirit.... good God!!! I mean there were dozens of kids just roaming around and there wasn't a parent in sight. I mean I went to concerts with my friends as a teen. I recall my first concert being a Immature ( I was in love with them and then they change their name to IMX and I was over it), Monica, and Usher concert. My mama dropped us off in front of the stadium and was standing right in front of the Fox Theater when it was over. There wasn't even enough time for us to attempt to go backstage and find Immature's dressing room and be fast ass little girls.  These kids chile.... I think half of them come to the concert high on bath salts or pixie sticks. I mean not all of them were being absolutely ratchet but for the most part they were all the way turnt up for no damn reason. Lord I just don't think these were the kids Whitney Houston had in mind when she said "she believe the children are our future".

2) Groupie shit will never ever die its just going to multiple. Now for the most the concert was full of teenagers but there were a few grown ass women out there being groupies at a damn Tyga concert. When I say grown ass women, I am talking about 30+. Tyga himself is only 22..... there was no reason for women to have been at this concert in their tightest BeBe dresses and highest Bakers shoes. Why are you at the concert looking like Draya from BasketBall Wives doing the reunion taping? Girl where are you going?? Its fucking Tyga and you're 31. It was just him...... not the whole Young Money crew. Everyone else had on jeans and Jordan's, why were these hoes acting like it was 1996 and 2Pac just got released from jail??  Yes I came to the conclusion that they were hoes. If you have on the uniform, you must play for the team right? I guess the rent ain't gonna pay itself. 


3) I'm not as ratchet as I think I am. By no means did I think was that ratchet ass girl; that goes to the grocery store with my hair in a scarf, pajama pants, and Chinese slippers. All the while talking so loudly on my cell phone that other people can hear my conversation in aisle 2 and I am all the way in  aisle 8. But I do have my ratchet and trashy moments. I listen to my 2 Chainz Pandora station while at work, Bands a Make Her Dance was/is my favorite song this summer, I do drink Kool-aid out of mason jars at times (although that maybe more country than ratchet). Anyway attending that concert showed me that I'm pretty low on the ratchet meter. I saw some fashion styles that I haven't seen since BET's Uncut was still on air. Behavior that should only reserved for Saturday nights at your local city's most ratchet ass club.... I mean girls so fucked up that they were laid out in the bathroom floor looking like.... where are my keys?  I lost my phone. Also I'm sure one of them had pissed on themselves. Yeah I'm not about that life. I'll leave that shit to folks like Tyga because he does do it for the ratchets.

Mr. Brian McKnight Calm Yourself

Okay let's talk about Mr. Brian Muthafucking McKnight and the fuckery he unleashed on the world last week. If you missed the tea last week, well I have a short recap and the shade. There's a video clip of this bullshit.

I'm gonna keep it cute.... after watching this video I was so many things confused, disturbed, and amused. Like I wanted to lay down with a hot cup of tea and re-think what's going on in the world today.... I felt violated. But in the same time (at the same damn time, I love Future) I got the laugh of my damn life, nothing could get me down for like 3 days because I would look at this video and get my whole entire life back.

So let's just get into it... first who's aunt is going up to Brian McKnight and discussing their sex life? Really Brian?? Who are these people?? I need the receipts. Adult mixtape... sir you've gone from BET's Midnight Love to BET's Uncut in like 4 minutes. Nobody wants an adult mixtape from you, save those tricks for the kids. This is for Trey Songz, R.Kelly or Piles. Nobody is here for you to sing about showing women how their Pu**y works, and if they knew it could squirt. I just can't get over the fact that this man was sitting at his piano looking like he was about to sing One Last Cry the 4.0 version but then went into singing about vaginas and making them squirt, using tongue, and back strokes..... absolutely not, I say!!! Real talk no flex.... nobody wants to hear this from you. If your not singing Back at One, Anytime, or Love Is nobody is here for it.

This man has gotten a divorce and lost his damn mind..... people we are witnessing a mid-lie crisis at it's best. I think this shit needs to be treat like postpartum depression, bipolar disorder,  and schizophrenia. It's a real disease that nobody thinks is real.... but clearly if Brian McKnight thinks that people want to hear him talk about vagina and ejaculation, he's going through some things. This fool is sitting in his studio with cut-off shorts like its 1992 and a faux Mohawk like Malik from The Game...clear there's some type of crisis going on here. He's sing about pu**y and using tongue like he was giving us he's Anytime like he's performing at Showtime at the Apollo or something, this is a cry for help people. Whether its a cry for your mama and them to buy his latest album or because he's really lost his mind, I'm not sure but help is needed. In summary Mr. Brian McKnight please keep your new or maybe its an old interest in becoming a gynecology to your damn self, we the people don't want to hear. I'm going to listen to Never Felt This Way Before and remember the good times.

Game Over

Where do I begin??? Well I guess from the beginning duh. The Game cues Common’s I use to love her. I was a huge fan of this show once upon a time; well really when it was on The CW. I’ve been watching this show since Girl Melanie and Derwin were introduced on Girlfriends as Joan’s cousin and her boyfriend. Since the pilot episode when they had the dark-skin Derwin( I think that guy is on one of those TNT shows I don’t watch ), I’m so glad they didn’t go with him. I think Pooch Hall makes a better Derwin Davis.  Anyway like I said I was a huge fan, I made my friends that didn’t watch the show watch, hell I even made my Mom watch and the only things she likes to watch on TV are the news and old episodes on Law and Order. But they loved the show and so did I.

Then The CW decided they were going try to become the sexy 2.0 version of Teen Nickelodeon or something and focus on programming more like Gossip Girls and 90210. They moved The Game to the grave yard shift of time slots, aka Friday night at 8 or 9. When nobody is at home watching TV, after that season the show cancelled. Everyone saw that coming and people still lost their damn minds (I’m included in this bunch) like LA riots were happening all over again. Petitions were signed to bring The Game, so after a two year break The Game comes back to television on BET and this where things take an ugly turn and the sugar most definitely turns into shit. Now before I go any further I would like to commend BET for bring the show that people loved and wanted to see back to TV, which was cancelled in my opinion because it was a black show on a white network and they wanted white shows on their network. Nothing more and nothing less.  So for attempting to do this BET gets a hand clap from me. Now onto the fuckery that has now because The Game on BET. Honestly the best analogy I can give about how this show has desegregated. Would be to say you’ve been listening to your music on the latest version of an ipod touch yesterday but today you’re downgraded to a Walkman. Or let’s say Beyonce was going to perform at your Birthday party but now you’re stuck with Keri Hilson. Like that’s how I feel about this show now, everything about it pisses be off and it pisses me off so much because I know the show was once an amazing show now its empty promises and boulevards of broken dreams .

So why this show is such slaughtered pig mess?  Well I think there are a number of factors and here they are.

1)      The writers: I’m assuming that during the two year hiatus, a lot if not all the writers found other work or just didn’t come back to the show when it started to air on BET. The writing on the show is just horrible, I tell you!!!! The jokes ARE NOT funny, like most of Lil’ Duval’s jokes on twitter aren’t funny. The plots are all over the place, the shit just isn’t cohesive. For example, Derwin gets mad at Melanie for having an abortion. Now the baby wasn’t his and they had broken up at the time she slept with Trey Wiggs and got pregnant. Melanie didn’t disclose this info to Derwin until after they got back together. As a matter of fact she never tells anyone, until they go to the doctor to try to figure why she’s having a hard time getting pregnant. Melanie then tells Derwin all about the abortion, he gets pissed. Somehow and someway they run into Trey Wiggs and invite him and his family to Derwin’s son b-day party. Notice I didn’t say their child’s party because welp Derwin got the girl he was dating when him and Melanie were broken up pregnant. So he has baby with another woman but is mad as hell at Melanie because she aborted another man’s baby. So mad in fact that when Trey Wiggs shows up at the party Derwin sucka punches him outside. We never hear about Trey Wiggs again.  Now what kind of shit is this???  So there’s no explanation as to why shit is happening it just happens. Did I say the jokes are funny because they really are not. I swear Lostmade more sense than this show and I still don’t know what the fuck happened on Lost.

2)      The Production: Man listen… sometimes when I watch the show it looks like someone took their iphone 4s and just started filming shit in their mama’s living room. Like for real???? This is how it goes down in 2012 on BET, shit old episodes of The Cobsy Show from the 80’s look better than this. Also I may just notice this because I’m from Atlanta and The Game is now filmed there but if they shoot one more damn scene at Atlantic Station I may just kick my TV. Like almost every scene that’s not in someone’s house is shot at Atlantic Station…. Listen there’s other places to shoot in the city. If you’re that pressed go ask Tyler Perry for some time on his lot.

3)      The extraness-  Yes, I know that isn’t a word but damnit it goes so appropriately to describe this show. Since the change every character on the show has become extra. Now these characters were already this way on the old network but they were just way more likable and more well-rounded. For example Tasha Mack on the show has always been hood, ghetto, urban, whatever the hell you want to call it. But now this bitch is about 2 steps away from being Sheneneh from Martin she’s damn near ratchet. Smacking her lips, smoking Black & Mild’s in public, eating Now n Laters and ranch sunflower seeds (and who the hell eats ranch sunflower see??? Show your face please). Ma’am…. What in the world?? They have just turned her into a real hoodrat, she was a little hood before but now she’s like on level 10. Melanie and Derwin Davis, they were a little daft and naïve before but now chile I can’t both of their asses. They’re both about as dumb as doorknobs now.  Melanie has turned into a super bougie bitch. Has she also been bougie? Yes, but now it’s to the power of 10 she’s definitely on her Marie Antoinette Let Them Eat Cake shit. Also this calling herself a doctor and she didn’t do her residency so she could cater to Derwin’s ass has got to stop. Either be a doctor or a Real Housewife of Atlanta, you can be both so pick one heffa.  They also turned somewhat funny Malik Wright into a druggie, egotistical manic, with a horrible ass Mohawk. First it’s not 2009 and the Mohawk has to go, Mr. T looking ass and him thinking he’s Peyton or Eli Manning has to stop too. Finally Jason Pitts the only person I like on the show, he’s still pretty much the same. He’s a little more of an asshole but I still like him the best, they should do more storylines with him and the show would be soooo much better. My only problem with him is that this season it’s revealed as to why he prefers to date white women. Because when he was growing up and would visit his cousins in the hood, the little black girls wouldn’t give him any play but the white girls would. I’m calling bullshit on this the time frame Jason is talking about is the late 80’s- early 90’s. Basically pre Denzel Washington and Wesley Snipes days. So you mean to tell me that in prime time Light-skin boy era, this high yellow boy couldn’t get no play ??? Yeah ok. Al B. Sure and El Debarge were running things, light skin boys were in style but he couldn’t get not play. Yeah fucking right. I still like Jason put that’s bullshit my friend.

4)   Kelly Pitts - I want Kelly Pitts back on the show but I want the old Kelly back not the one acting like Evelyn from Basketball wives. I want the Victoria’s Secret pink yoga pants, bedazzling hats for my husband’s team members, coupon cutting Kelly Pitts. That I cut my hair like Rhianna circa 2009, fighting like I’m on Love and Hip-hop, and dropping like its hot Kelly Pitts they can keep. Apparently on the show Kelly has gone to have her Eat. Pray. Love. moment.  So hopefully she can get her mind right and come back as the Kelly Pitts I use to love, if not like I said before keep it.

In summary this show has turned into a black horrible ass rendition of Dallas or something or better yet it’s like two steps above being those chitlin circuit plays that come BET on Sunday afternoons. They’re so terrible that you watch in the hopes that it gets better but it doesn’t, and when it goes off you say to yourself “why the hell did I just watch this for two hours”? Yeah that’s where The Gameis at now…. just fucking terrible. I really don’t see the show getting any better either. Why you might say? Because there’s no direct competition, that’s why? What other semi-success black shows are on TV? I dare you to say The House of Payne or some other Tyler Perry show. This ain’t the 90’s when shows like Martin, A Different World, Living Single, Moesha, and everything else in between are on air. There’s The Game and…… yeah I’m drawing a blank after that. So with no competitionThe Game continues to make this fuckery of a show and people watch must there’s no other alternative. This is a sad thing here, I tell you. I’m sure if this was 1995 and all those other black shows were on TV and The Game (the way it is now) was presented to network execs, that shit would’ve never seen the light of day. But because of the lack of diversity on TV these days any old bullshit will fly. Well damnit I’m sick of and I refuse to continue to support this show. It’s like having a boyfriend that use to take you to nice restaurants for date night, now that y’all are together for real now y’all are sitting on the couch eating spaghetti O’s out of the can and that’s date night now. I’m not about that life so just like I would do if I had a boyfriend that wasn’t treating me right, I would have to break up with him. That’s what I have to do with The Game…. We have to break up. So I guess its game over.

     

What Does Oprah Owe Us?

As you know Oprah has her own network called "The Own Network", let's give this woman a hand clap for that. Now I'm not really a stan of Oprah, I don't religiously watch her show, nor do I read her magazines or am I apart of her book club. I have my issues with her. Like how she was all up in Chris Brown's grill after "the incident", y'all please can we let it go already and let this boy be great. I don't appreciate her love/hate relationship with hip hop, well let's  be honest she only really likes Jay-z. But despite all that, Oprah has done things that very few people have been able to do and achieved things many people couldn't even imagine doing. For those things I applaud her and I'm proud of her as a black woman. But many people don't really feel the same way about her. As I found out after the premier week of her network and heard some people bitching about the fact that there weren't enough black people on her network in front and behind the camera.

Black people we have to stop this nonsense, this woman doesn't owe anybody anything! One of the main people I heard grumblings from was Shelia Johnson (Bob Johnson's wife). Chile you got some nerve talking about Oprah doesn't have enough black representation her on network and you and your husband sold BET back into slavery. I swear if it wasn't for "The Game "that TV station would be dead to me. You my friend need to have a seat and a Coke and a smile. I personally don't care if Oprah doesn't have a single black person working for her, and you know why? Because she's BLACK!! She's the face of the company, she's on the cover of her magazine every month. She doesn't need another black person co-signing for her, I just don't understand to why she isn't enough? Why is that whenever a black person obtains a certain amount of success, other black people have to question their blackness?

Call me crazy but that's bs to me, as I've said before this whole line of thinking is why black people can't get ahead. This whole crabs in a barrel mentality has got to stop. Let this woman run her company as she sees fit. You know people are are going to talk about you regardless of what you try to do. Like when she opened up the school in South Africa, people were disgruntle then, talking about we have poor black children in America, why did she have to go all the way to Africa ? Well I will tell you why because she could! The real question here is what have you done to improve your community? I don't know all the dealings of Oprah's charity work or what causes she supports. What I do know is that when I cut on channel 2 at 4pm, the Oprah Winfrey show is on and she's a black woman doing things on her own terms. And just by doing that, she's inspiring people and that's enough for me. Stop saying she doesn't do enough for her "people" because she doesn't owe "people" or black people anything.