I Do It For The Ratchets

Last weekend I got the chance to attend a concert basically for free. The artist I went to go see was Tyga. I can't say I'm a fan of his music and that's not to say I don't enjoy some of his songs because for like a month Rack City was the song that would come on in the club that got me all the way turned up. Anyway while at this concert I noticed a few things.

1) These kids today are definitely doing it differently than when I was a teenager.  The concert's population was largely comprised of teenagers, now I don't know if that was because this was a Tyga concert and his fan base is made up of mostly pop tarts or because the Chicago teacher strike was still going on and these kids didn't have class on Monday. Either way that place reeked of teen spirit.... good God!!! I mean there were dozens of kids just roaming around and there wasn't a parent in sight. I mean I went to concerts with my friends as a teen. I recall my first concert being a Immature ( I was in love with them and then they change their name to IMX and I was over it), Monica, and Usher concert. My mama dropped us off in front of the stadium and was standing right in front of the Fox Theater when it was over. There wasn't even enough time for us to attempt to go backstage and find Immature's dressing room and be fast ass little girls.  These kids chile.... I think half of them come to the concert high on bath salts or pixie sticks. I mean not all of them were being absolutely ratchet but for the most part they were all the way turnt up for no damn reason. Lord I just don't think these were the kids Whitney Houston had in mind when she said "she believe the children are our future".

2) Groupie shit will never ever die its just going to multiple. Now for the most the concert was full of teenagers but there were a few grown ass women out there being groupies at a damn Tyga concert. When I say grown ass women, I am talking about 30+. Tyga himself is only 22..... there was no reason for women to have been at this concert in their tightest BeBe dresses and highest Bakers shoes. Why are you at the concert looking like Draya from BasketBall Wives doing the reunion taping? Girl where are you going?? Its fucking Tyga and you're 31. It was just him...... not the whole Young Money crew. Everyone else had on jeans and Jordan's, why were these hoes acting like it was 1996 and 2Pac just got released from jail??  Yes I came to the conclusion that they were hoes. If you have on the uniform, you must play for the team right? I guess the rent ain't gonna pay itself. 


3) I'm not as ratchet as I think I am. By no means did I think was that ratchet ass girl; that goes to the grocery store with my hair in a scarf, pajama pants, and Chinese slippers. All the while talking so loudly on my cell phone that other people can hear my conversation in aisle 2 and I am all the way in  aisle 8. But I do have my ratchet and trashy moments. I listen to my 2 Chainz Pandora station while at work, Bands a Make Her Dance was/is my favorite song this summer, I do drink Kool-aid out of mason jars at times (although that maybe more country than ratchet). Anyway attending that concert showed me that I'm pretty low on the ratchet meter. I saw some fashion styles that I haven't seen since BET's Uncut was still on air. Behavior that should only reserved for Saturday nights at your local city's most ratchet ass club.... I mean girls so fucked up that they were laid out in the bathroom floor looking like.... where are my keys?  I lost my phone. Also I'm sure one of them had pissed on themselves. Yeah I'm not about that life. I'll leave that shit to folks like Tyga because he does do it for the ratchets.

Got 2B Real: The Latest



I know I've talked about this web parody before on the blog......but damnit these videos are hilarious. I promise it’s funnier than ANYTHING you're currently watching on television, unless you're watching old episodes of Martin from Season 1-4, that last season without Gina was just weird. I watched this morning before work and I cried real tears laughing at this. Between Fantasia making up her own words like "rudity" and Beyonce telling her "Fantasia I could give you two magnets and you STILL couldn't make ends meet!" Jesus..... I was dying laughing at this. The video above is the latest episode of Got 2B Real, and the shade that's being thrown in it!!!! Rihanna's umbrella from 2007 couldn't even help.

Summer, Summer, Summertime

Well once again boys and girls it's almost that magical time of the year it's SUMMERTIME BITCHES!!! So again I think its imperative that we go over some rules for the summer, as I did last year Because Its Summertime. So here we go.......

1) Tanning- Listen people we may have to break this down by ethnic groups but here we go. People of Caucasian descent please skin burn is real and so is skin cancer, sunscreen is needed at all times. I understand that during the colder months that you may not get the sun you so desperately seek so that as soon as it hits 70 degrees you're outside sunbathing..... I get looking like Casper the Ghost is NOT what's up but looking like this trick isn't neither. Black people just because we're black and have melanin in our skin doesn't mean we shouldn't be using sunscreen skin cancer is real in the battlefield.

2) Bathing Suits- I'm not my ideal weight and I haven't gone to Weight watchers to get my Jennifer Hudson on, really the girl is small as hell now kudos to her. I'm going to wear the correct size swimming suit and not my dream size swimming suit because I'm not that dam delusional.  Some of y'all are out here being a smooth ass size 16 trying to get into a size a 4 bathing suit, ummmmm no madam that's not gonna work. If you didn't get to your special K diet back in January and started on May 1st your ass just may have missed the boat, and that's okay buy and wear your size or cover ups.... its okay. Try again for next summer, shit that's what I'm gonna do size 6 here I come.

3) Swimming Pools- So as I was talking about bathing suits in the previous point..... some of y'all please go buy one point blank period. I've gone to many swimming pools and beaches and have seen too many grown ass people going to these places in in their underwear. Yes, grown woman in bra and panties at the pool and grown men in boxer briefs like they're swimming attire (penises swinging like bats)  like that's what's hot.... well newsflash it isn't. No person that has gone through puberty should be at the pool/beach in undergarments... its just tacky!!! Take your ass to Wal-Mart and get a $20 swimming suit and call it a day. No country for people that swim in their Fruit of the Looms, get the fuck out of here with that. Also people please don't pee in the pool, chlorine or no chlorine that's just nasty!!!

4) Air Conditioner- People with your going to have people at your house or have your cut buddy come through for the late night creep, PLEASE have working AC. Ain't nothing worst than going over someone's house and they have no AC. It's literally the fucking worst thing in life. Please get that shit under control before you invite people over, I don't care how many fans you have  in your house, that shit could be like a windmill factory its not gonna make up for AC. 

5) Day Drinking- This includes day parties, brunches with endless mimosas, happy hours, just what ever the fuck else. I have fallen victim to a few (okay several) endless mimosas brunches myself and these shits will ruin your life. Like real talk no flex drinking during the day will have you drunk as a bitch at 2:00pm on a Sunday.... looking like Lady Gaga, where are my keys? I lost my phone. I've literally gone to endless mimosas brunch at 11:00am and woke up at the end of True Blood (8:55pm) and had no idea how I got home. Now maybe this is an admission that I'm somewhat of a slush, but hell y'all knew that already but I choose to believe and blame it on mimosas and french toast. Listen folks school/work isn't out for summer for us ( well maybe it is if your a teacher or something), drinking like its Friday night on Sunday/Saturday morning or afternoon will have your ass out for the count. I know of what I speak. Drink responsibility....... because it's summertime.

Got 2B Real

I'm not sure if you guys have heard of this web series on YouTube called Got 2B Real. If you haven't prepare yourself to be amused. I don't remember exactly how I came across this web series, I think someone retweeted the creator's(  @PattiLaHelle) tweets on my timeline. I do know this though, I'm grateful as hell I found it because my dear it's funnier than anything I've seen on TV is a long time.

The show is a like a Diva Parody show with Patti Labelle, Aretha Franklin, Mariah Carey, Beyonce, Donnie Warwick, Rhianna, Mary J. Blige, and whole bunch of other folks. The show is completely fictitious but completely hilarious. I when I tell you I laughed so hard that I was crying I'm NOT exaggerating. This is the second season of the show and it's already three episodes deep. So I'm postiong the episodes from this season, but I suggest looking at the season one first. But yes please get your life to this!!!!!