So Live Your Life

A while ago someone asked me what my biggest fear was, at the time I said Mitt Romey becoming President of the United States of America. Which it actually was at the the time but the typically answers people give never came to my mind. Such as death, heights, stretch marks, wired hangers, waking up and the Walking Dead is real life…. Etc. My actually biggest fear is living an unfulfilled life. What I mean by this; is me looking back at my life when I’m damn near about to retire and see I haven’t done shit with my life expect go to work for the past 25 years. That’s what the hell I’m talking about. I know people like this and I'm sure you do too, and the shit is borderline depressing. I just want to ask these people WTF did you do with your life in the 80’s-90’s other than work and go home and watch Cheers and Oprah every day and eat Cheez-Its?

There are no stories to tell… no trips, no kids to be proud of or to ashamed of, no crazy stories of what they did in their 20’s, 30's or 40's, no spouses to cherish or to be ready to get rid of like yesterday’s trash. It’s like their lives were; I went to college got a degree, got a job (the same one since 1988), got a home and I’m waiting on The Good Wife to come on to give me some type of entertainment. Some of these people don't even have hobbies. No gardening, collecting stamps, crossword puzzles, stalking a person's Facebook page. Its zip nada zilch going on with them. It's sleep, work, eat, and TV. It’s like what happened to you that you choose to or want to live this shell of a life. I’m not saying to your life needs to mimic that of a Diddy video from 1996. If you’re not about that party like its 1999 and its 2013 life, than don’t be about it. However I don’t see how some people choose to live their lives that of Mister Rogers walking around in that boring ass neighborhood.

There are a small percentage of these people that are actually content in the lives they have leaded and are leading… and to those I say do you boo. On the flip side a vast majority of these folks didn’t want to go down the paths their lives have taken them and are frontin’ like this is the life they want.  To the people I say GOOD DAY!! You aren’t happy with the way you choose to live your lives, you wanted something more but maybe you were too chicken shit to go after it. Maybe you wanted to have an Eat.Pray.Love moment but couldn’t because you had bills, or the person you loved once upon a time rejected you and you swore off love, or you just lived your life for your parents and didn’t want to take chances for fear of disappointing them. Whatever the case was, at the end of the day those are your choices and no one else’s. The thing that kills me about people like this is that when they see someone living life or attempting to live life to their fullest potential, these Bitter Betties and Bobs paws come out. The hate from these down and out folks goes to level red terror alert; these folks are wild, fast in the ass, hoes, amoral…..etc. Why because they rather go to the game than watch that shit on TV or because they rather go to the bar than sit at home and knit with you?  Just because a person is out in the streets doesn’t make them a street rat and just because they’re in the club doesn’t mean they’re poppin’ a Molly and sweatin. It just means they don’t want a boring ass life like yours; maybe they just want something more.

This can't be life as we know it.

Shady Queens

Thinly veiled cattiness or shade gets on mind last nerves, I can't stand it!! If you have something to say, than say it point blank, plain, and simple. Don't sit around and pussyfoot around things, say what you mean and mean what you say. People who do things like this, usually do it under the guise of a joke. Such as "oh that's the outfit you brought it's a little too Wednesday Adams for me". Then when you side-eye that ass, her reply " I was just playing, lol". No the fuck you weren't but when somebody snaps back. The it was a joke card is always played. Chile you need to have an everlasting back seat.

Look I try to be the type of person that is a "tell it how it really is" with slice apple pie on the side (because otherwise you're just being mean). If your hair is looking crazy I'm gonna tell you. If I think your new boyfriend is gay, I will say so. I'm not going to let you walk out of the house with a wet bird's nest on your head because that makes not only you look crazy but me too because I'm out with you. Nor will I say nothing while you date a men who I think is gay. Only to have you looking like Terry McMillan on Oprah's couch, talking about I had no idea he was gay. five months later. That just makes me a bad friend (but I'm also not the person to keep harping on issues either). The thing is when people are catty in this way, they never think people are going to say anything back to them. Why?? Idk, may they think the people they're shading are cowards like they are. So when people do snap on their asses, they are soooo taken aback, they're really shocked someone would even come back at them because a lot of folks don't. Look I'm not that girl. I will read your ass like a high school student reading The Great Gatsby for a book report. 

For example at my old job, I had gotten my hair done over the weekend (like Kandi from the RHOA), well I guess my hair was not to one of my coworkers liking. She walks up to me in the break room at lunch and loud as ever says, "Someones's hair is looking wild today"and proceeds to give me the stank face. Now I normally wouldn't have done what I did at work but she really pissed me off, so I went in on her.  I'm looking at this old wrinkled up raisin of a woman, who's hair looks that of a matted, dirty ass dog. So I say to her " well I guess maybe today it does but yours looks wild everyday, what's your excuse".  She gives me a blank stare and says what? You guessed it, "It was just a joke". I told her well we ain't friends so don't joke with me, heffa. The moral of the story is don't throw shade and expect shade not to be thrown back at you and usually twice as hard as you threw it. 

Is Having A Baby With Someone The New Form Of Marriage?

 I kind of touched upon the fact that Lauryn Hill is pregnant with her 6th kid, and to that I say wowers..... really in 2011 people are still trying to form their own  version of the Jackson clan? I guess whatever floats your boat. Well apparently she's having her 6th child with the father of her other 5 kids with one of the Marley boys. Who is also apparently denying that the baby is his, but then retracted that statement, this is all getting a little to All My Children for my liking. Anywho, Lauryn isn't married to this man and word on the street is that he's still married to he's other children's baby mama but that's another post for another day.

What I wanna talk about is that this woman Lauryn Mfing Hill has laid down and had 5 kids with this man and is about to have the 6th one and she's just as single as a dollar bill. As my Grandma says, "if you ain't married you're single according to the government ". See there's no box to check on your 1040 form that says, I've been with this negro for 8+ years and have 3.5 of his children . No ma'ma there's no such thing. Look I may not be the biggest advocate for the institution of marriage in my own personal life, I kinda live by the motto "everything ain't for everybody". That includes marriage too, but what I've been noticing lately is this trend of having 2+ babies with someone and yall ain't married. Hell marriage is so out of the picture for the two of you, that people don't even ask if yall are getting married anymore. Kinda like nobody asks about a Fugees reunion, why? Because that ish is never gonna happen, much like these girls and marriage. I just can't get down with having and bunch of babies with someone and not marrying their ass.

Yall are living together, raising kids together, splitting bills together, arguing together and everything else under the sun together but yall ain't married? Oh hell no!!! This ish right is just f#cking ridiculous. How are yall up at your child's school for a parent teacher conference and the teacher is calling yall Mr. Williams and Ms. Jones, that shit don't even sound right or okay. Look yall aren't Oprah and Stedman  or Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn, you guys aren't in Hollywood or about that Hollywood life. Yall are Keith and Maya living in a 3 bedroom apartment in Marrietta, Ga, eating hamburger helper, and trying not to fall asleep before First 48, that's your life. Which is cool, those people in Hollywood can afford to not to get marriage, you my dear cannot.

See what really confuses me are the people who say sh!t like, " I'm just not sure marriage is right for us". But then yall have 6 kids together!!!! Sh!t which one is the bigger commitment? How is someone good enough to have multiple kids with but not good enough to marry? This doesn't make any sense to me. People get divorced everyday, you sign those papers and keep it moving, hell you may never have to see that person again. If yall don't have kids together. But no people are out here playing house. Those aren't dolls you're playing with, they're real children and you can't throw them away when you're done playing house.

For those that say its just a piece of paper or we "spiritually married" like Lauryn Hill has said in the past, that my significant other and God knows my heart, you sir/madame get a O_o. Please get all the way up out there with that bs. That maybe truth in your crazy ass mind and heart, but guess who doesn't know your heart? Your kids, your florist, your mama and just about everybody you know but you know who especially doesn't know your heart? The IRS, social security, he/she retirement fund, and 401K. If your pattern ups and gets hit by a bus and there's no will in place or you're not on he/she's life insurance policies and he/she's mama and them are the beneficiaries. Good luck with using that heart of yours to prove yall were married in court. Just be smart about major life decisions, having 10+ kids with the same man and no ring insight like the damn Lakers this year, is just bad for business.

What Does Oprah Owe Us?

As you know Oprah has her own network called "The Own Network", let's give this woman a hand clap for that. Now I'm not really a stan of Oprah, I don't religiously watch her show, nor do I read her magazines or am I apart of her book club. I have my issues with her. Like how she was all up in Chris Brown's grill after "the incident", y'all please can we let it go already and let this boy be great. I don't appreciate her love/hate relationship with hip hop, well let's  be honest she only really likes Jay-z. But despite all that, Oprah has done things that very few people have been able to do and achieved things many people couldn't even imagine doing. For those things I applaud her and I'm proud of her as a black woman. But many people don't really feel the same way about her. As I found out after the premier week of her network and heard some people bitching about the fact that there weren't enough black people on her network in front and behind the camera.

Black people we have to stop this nonsense, this woman doesn't owe anybody anything! One of the main people I heard grumblings from was Shelia Johnson (Bob Johnson's wife). Chile you got some nerve talking about Oprah doesn't have enough black representation her on network and you and your husband sold BET back into slavery. I swear if it wasn't for "The Game "that TV station would be dead to me. You my friend need to have a seat and a Coke and a smile. I personally don't care if Oprah doesn't have a single black person working for her, and you know why? Because she's BLACK!! She's the face of the company, she's on the cover of her magazine every month. She doesn't need another black person co-signing for her, I just don't understand to why she isn't enough? Why is that whenever a black person obtains a certain amount of success, other black people have to question their blackness?

Call me crazy but that's bs to me, as I've said before this whole line of thinking is why black people can't get ahead. This whole crabs in a barrel mentality has got to stop. Let this woman run her company as she sees fit. You know people are are going to talk about you regardless of what you try to do. Like when she opened up the school in South Africa, people were disgruntle then, talking about we have poor black children in America, why did she have to go all the way to Africa ? Well I will tell you why because she could! The real question here is what have you done to improve your community? I don't know all the dealings of Oprah's charity work or what causes she supports. What I do know is that when I cut on channel 2 at 4pm, the Oprah Winfrey show is on and she's a black woman doing things on her own terms. And just by doing that, she's inspiring people and that's enough for me. Stop saying she doesn't do enough for her "people" because she doesn't owe "people" or black people anything.