A Sticky Situation

Disclaimer: I don’t have a problem with homosexuality but I do have a problem with homosexuals  that have a problem with my heterosexuality.  

What exactly in hell am I talking about well let me tell you a story. Upon my arrival in The City of Wind I have met several interesting and some not that interesting people. Well I meet this one girl through a mutual friend. She was cool so we started to hang out as friends do, somewhere along the way this girl (let’s call her Rita) revels that she’s gay. She goes on to say that she doesn’t like to broadcast her sexuality because she feels like it’s her business. I told yeah you’re right it’s your business, who you choose to sleep with is your business. I personally don’t care who you choose to bump uglies with, as long as it’s not my man.  I told her I’m not one those people that couldn’t be friends with a lesbian, as long as she didn’t have a problem with my heterosexuality I didn’t have a problem with her homosexuality. So we kept it moving as friends. As friends I would tell her about the guys I was dating and she would tell me about the girls she would date, why? Because friends love to talk about dating in general, things were running along smoothly until this.

New year’s eve….. Well I was out on the town having a good time with my friends aka we were drunk. Then my phone vibrates and it’s Rita. The conversation was real general at first. Like hey, where you at?, who you with?, are y’all having fun?  Blah, blah, blah. See I asked Rita if she wanted to come out for NYE and she chose to stay at home. Whatever, I answered she questions accordingly until this text came through on my phone.

Rita: “Did u drive? Idk why but I wanna see your face. Is that bad? I can’t figure out what that’s about…..”

Rita: “ Eh, I need to evaluate that. I’m a little drunk.”

Me: “No we took a taxi.”

Now ladies and gentlemen at the time this exchange took place it was 15 minutes until New Years I was drunk like it was 1999 and I didn’t really pay any attention to what she said to me.  Until the next day and I re-read the text and I sit there a thought about it. Did this girl just try me? Did she really think this was some L-Word situation? Now I do have the tendency to over react to I called my sister to see if tried me or if I was overreacting. My sister said she tried it and so did the other 4 people I told this story to. The reasons they came to this conclusion is the 2^nd text Rita sent, the evaluate part. Even as I write this the more I’m convinced she tried it.  Why did she do this, knowing that I’m straighter than an arrow? Who the fuck knows and I don’t think it had anything with the alcohol she was drinking.

Honestly I think that she thought that maybe I was (like some people in the world today) a little bi-curious and so she tried, in hopes that I was.  When she realized I wasn’t, she aborted mission and blamed it on the alcohol (I hate when people do that shit, I wasn’t the Ciroc in your cup..... it was you nigga!!  Now for the life of me I’ll never understand why she tried it, maybe she thought I was playing when I said I was straight or maybe she thought she could persuade not to me to try it out. Whatever the case maybe I just find her behavior in this situation to be disrespectful, on numerous occasions this girl would go on and on about people (in general) not respecting Gay rights and how folks always disrespect Gay people. But then she turns around and disrespects my heterosexual rights.... girl please have some stadium seats. She engaged in the same behavior in which detest, I call bullshit!!! Our friendship is now at a crossroads. I've only spoken to her twice since all this went down and it was for some real general purposes. At this point I don't think she's ever gonna to bring up this incident and I won't either because I'm over it and her too. I just makes me think was she being friends with me because she really wanted to be my FRIEND or was she just pretending to me friends with me so she could catch me slipping one day. I guess its one of those things I'll never know the answer to.

On The Downlow, Well Maybe Not

I was watching a video on youtube by Ray Daniels http://youtu.be/wJEoiLA0GeU (he has a channel on there, its hilarious check it out) on this particular episode he talked about his theory about men on the downlow. What he basically said was that men on the downlow don't exist and I agree with him 110%. Why is that? Because the women who are with these men know they're GAY, they just overlooked the signs of their gayness. These women have always had suspicions about their men, they didn't just walk in on these men giving the  pool-boy backshots one day and were shocked beyond belief that their man was gay. Girl bye, you knew this information before hand and just chose to ignore it. There are always signs, the signs are all around you, its in your gut just follow it. Now I could go into detail about suspect behavior of your possibly gay man because I would like to think my gaydar is pretty on point ( I do live in Atlanta and your gaydar needs to be updated every two weeks here). But that's not what this is about, but I will give you few. If your man takes two hours to get ready and you take one, and y'all started to get ready at the same time something ain't right. If your man is to into his body, especially if he's always fixated on his a$$, there's a problem. Okay, here's the last one if you get in your man's car and his cd collection consist of these people Beyonce, Keyshia Cole, Keri Hilson or insert whatever female artist you like, then its a wrap dude is gay. There are always signs and if you even question this dude's sexuality even for a second, well my dear your man is probably gay. Because wherever there's a little smoke there's fire.

Remember when Terry McMillan got her a$$ on Oprah's couch with her husband and sat up there with him next to her with his lip gloss poppin and eyebrows arched sky high, and wanted us to believe that she was married for 8 years (I'm not sure how long they were married) to this man and didn't know he was gay? Girl get the f*ck out of here, we don't believe you, you need more people. A lot of women dealing with these suspect men, in my opinion are so desperate for a man, that they'll take any, man even a gay one. Their reasoning for this, hell if I know. Maybe they're that girl that always has to have somebody or cue Beyonce... they're scared of lonely. Whatever the case may be these women know what they're doing and who they're doing it with. Nobody can hide their true colors forever, eventually you'll show tell-tell signs of who you really are. Sometimes they're blatant and other times they're subtle but they're signs nevertheless. 

Now do I think that men can be in the closet about their sexuality? Of course! Some men are so deep in the closet they're finding last year's Christmas presents. And to these men I say come out and free yourself and the rest will follow. Its 2011 nobody cares if you're gay, and if they do well f*ck them. Be who you are and stop trying to repress who you are, who wants to live that way? Now to the women that deal with these men even though you see the signs and choose to overlook them, I'm calling you out too. Now if you chose to live this lie and carry on with this dude even though you know in your heart he's gay. Whether you ever admit your suspicions to anyone or not, your a$$ knows he's gay because you're both after the same thing which is d%ck. And you know how it feels to chase it and so does  he because you see him chasing it in front of your eyes. So if you chose to be this man's beard that's fine. But no longer can you play the victim and get on your soapbox talking about this man deceived you, and you had no idea he was gay, after you caught him slobbing on Ben's knob, girl tell that tale to somebody else that believes you to because you gets no love over here.