My Funny Valentine

It’s the beginning of February and it’s that time of year again…. The time where people have already given up on their New Year’s Resolution to lose weight, the good treadmill at the gym is free and clear again. It’s also that dreaded time of year as well VALENTINE’S DAY!!! For some it’s a national reminder that you’re alone Bitch..... (notice I said alone and not lonely, the two are very different). If you’re in a relationship it could be dreaded as well too but I wouldn’t know much about that. So for us single folks, what’s the real issue about Valentine’s Day??

I thought about it and I realized that 90% of single people aren’t really single…. Meaning that we aren’t totally and completely without some type of romantic companionship. There’s somebody lurking in the background, the problem is we can’t claim them to be totally and completely ours (that could be our choice or their's) or we just don’t know what the hell is going on between us, The Gray Area is in full force. That’s the problem, there’s somebody but we don’t know if they’re really our somebody. That's what gets some peoples panties in a bunch about Valentine's Day. That can be because we fucking/dating somebody else’s man/woman, it’s just a friends with benefit situation, you just started dating this person on January 1^st, this person is your ex and they keep coming back for more, you’re in a Grey Area with someone, you’re playing  LL Cool J in Hey Lover and that person  is more than a crush, this person is alright but you know they ain’t the one, or you’re in a secret relationship with someone that looks like Flavor Flav.  Whatever the case is there’s someone in your life but you can’t exactly change your relationship status on Facebook from single to in a relationship because of the above mentioned things going on between yall. I think this is where all this hatred and fuck Valentine’s Day comes from. It’s like baking a cake you  to have all the ingredients to bake the cake and then you realize you don’t have any icing, sure you can still bake the cake. It will still have the basics for you to call it a cake but without the icing what’s the fucking point?? It’s just sweet bread and who the hell wants that?

That’s what Valentine’s Day is to some single people, and reminder that they have a damn cake without any icing, sweet fucking bread. It’s like bring your basic ass cake to a bake sell, all the cakes with icing are going to get gone real quick. While you’re dry ass cake is going to be sitting there until Easter Sunday. Valentine’s Day is the day like the Price is Right showcase for cakes, so if you’re cake is without icing you’re going to feel like Miss Congeniality and the Miss America Pageant. Hell for some people it’s the day they learn that what they thought was a cake with butter cream icing, is basic ass sweet bread. 

There’s no greeting cards for whatever situation you’re going through, Brandy said it best Almost Doesn’t Count. Your taken boo thing isn’t going to take you on a helicopter ride over New York City because you’re Girlfriend number two, ask Olivia Pope about that. Your fuck buddy isn’t going to sending you flowers at work; he’s sending you his dick in a box. The guy that isn’t quite ready for a relationship isn’t buying you jewelry from Kay Jewelers because if he can’t commit to dinner and movie on Friday night, he damn sure isn’t committing to $399 on a bracelet. But believe it or not every kiss doesn't begin with Kay. Yeah it sucks that while all the other girls are going to the grand ball your ass is at home scrubbing floors like Cinderella.   

We’ve all been there, I’ve been there. Hell some of us (me included) are there now but what I’m not going to do is let Valentine’s Day get me Angela Basset in Waiting to Exhale crazy. I’m not going to side-eye the fuck out of my coworkers that get flowers that day because my desk is as empty as a former Real Housewives of Atlanta bank account, ( Sheree I’m looking at you and that Forest Preserve you call your house). I’m not going to go home and drink a box of wine and eat a gallon of ice cream. Nope I’m not going to do it because it’s not going to solve my problem. Hating on others joy is just….. well exhausting and I ain’t got time for that. Some of yall need to get that hate out of your system.

See, I forgot and a lot of people forget this one simple thing along the way of dating. “I’m good with it just me”. I’m okay with being by myself, so that when I get caught up in these gray area relationships I find myself in at times. I know that I’m happy with myself and this other person is just along for the ride and if they’re making this royal cruise ship feel like the Titanic, well their ass has go before  that iceberg gets hit.  People you have to remember that what’s for you will be for you, you can’t plot and plan your love life according to others. Valentine’s Day is just that a day, and who says your Valentine’s Day has to be February 14^th??? Maybe yours is May 1^st or November 26^th, so don’t drive yourself crazy because the 14^th of this month isn’t going to be candlelight and sex in the champagne room. There’s still 364 days until the next Valentine’s Day for all that.

Shade And A Vacay

Well good people as you may be able to tell from the title of this post, I'm going on vacation this week. Thank God!!!!! This has been a long time coming, I need this like Ciara and Omarion need a hit on the radio. Between work, life, trying to getting my life, and figuring out how I'm going get out of suburbs for good, this vacation a long time coming. Plus it's getting cold in Chicago, Fall has left the building and Winter is upon us. Quite frankly I ain't ready for it. I'm not ready to remember to warm my car up 5 minutes before I leave in the morning. I'm not ready for it to be 12:01am darkness at 5:01pm. I'm not ready to be wearing all these damn layers of clothes, trying to winterize my skin because walking around looking like a dry up piece of turkey 2 weeks after Thanksgiving is just immoral, and last but not least I'm not ready for the SNOW. That shit is cute and pretty until the next morning you're outside shoveling that shit like a grave digger.

So I'm going on a cruise with my friend for the week of Thanksgiving, at first I didn't want to go because it's a family holiday and whatnot. But then that thought quickly vanished from my head, shit..... I ain't got no kids or husband and I'm not going home to Atlanta for Thanksgiving so what am I really going miss? Cooking, watching the Thanksgiving parade with my Grandma and her asking who and what everything/ everyone is? My uncle getting drunk before dinner (although that is pretty hilarious tho), my aunt's dry ass stuffing (yes, stuffing not dressing. There's a difference), the ever so quite shade my aunts throw at each other...... yeah I'm good. I can do all that next year, so therefore I'm going to get my life or someone else's for a week in the Caribbean. So be safe good people, I'm sure I'll have some ratchet stories to tell or they'll be too ratchet and I'll need to keep it in the closet like Mike. So Happy Turkey Day everyone!!!!!!!!

                                    Yes!!! Ma'am the amount given will be zero... just like her!!

No New Year's Resolutions

This is going to be my last post of the year, I want to thank each and every one of you that have taken the time to read this blog. This year has been a lot of different things some good things and some bad ones. This blog has been one of the good ones and I hope that 2012 brings bigger and better things to this blog and to everyone who reads this blog. So have a safe and Happy New Year and see ya in 2012. 

Well it’s that time of year where people start to reflect back on the past year. The things they did, the things they didn’t do. The relationships they gained and the ones they lost and just about everything else between. People start to plan for the upcoming year. Some of these changes maybe minor some maybe major and New Year’s resolutions are being made.

So what’s my New Year’s resolution, well simple to live my life like Beyonce’s Party video, to just do better than before that’s it. It sounds simple but when it’s put into practice, shit can get complicated. I know all things I should be doing and the things I shouldn’t be doing too. For example losing weight is a part of a lot of people’s resolutions, I know what I need to do to accomplish that goal, and I do it at a mild pace. I exercise but I still eat like it's freshman year in college half of the time. Guess what? I’m not going to lose any weight by doing this; all I’m doing is maintaining my weight. I don’t gain any but I don’t lose any either hence I need to do better. The same thing just with other aspects of my life such professionally I KNOW I need to go back to school, but just thinking to the application process makes my head hurt. Welp, I just need to suck it up take an aspirin or something and just do it like Nike.

When comes to dating I can do better in that department too. Look I know myself and I know I’m quick to dismiss a guy for any little infraction. So maybe just maybe I could ease up a bit. I could stop acting like I’m going on a trip to the dentist when I go out with guys and put forward more of an effort. If I put the same effort I do in my friends half of the other things I enjoy into dating…… I’ll probably be married by now if I wanted to be. So generally I should probably do better when it comes to dating. I just need to do better in life in general. So this year I’m making no resolutions because I feel like an idiot by March because I didn't stick with them.  I’m just going do things better than what I have been doing them.