What Means The World To You

You know for some people certain things take top priority while in a relationship but I ain't here to talk about that today. I want to talk about those things that aren't a priority to me while in a relationship. The shit some may flip the fuck out about if their boo did or didn't these things. While for me these things are just the icing on the cake.... what some people fell to realize is that the cake itself is the most important thing. So with out further adieu, here's a list of things that I don't give two hot damns about while in a relationship

1) Strip Clubs- I have a friend that was damn near in tears when she found out her man went the strip club and I just couldn't give her the sympathy she seeked from me at that moment in time. I was just sitting thinking what the hell is the big deal? He went to look at some girls shake their ass and titties... big whoop. If she would've told me he went to some type of Magic Mike strip club...well Houston, Dallas, and San Antonio we have a problem. Honestly you can't even inappropriately touch those girls without some Debo looking ass dude coming to damn near break your arm if you get too close. Also they don't even get butt ass naked in a lot of the strip clubs north of the Mason-Dixon Line. Maybe it’s the Atlanta in me but strip clubs don't bother me, I have been in enough to see what goes on there and I don't care. Now if these fools are going to the strip club on their lunch breaks and spending rent money on some fake ass Buffy the Body... well then that's another story.


2) Porn- Well it kinda falls into the same category as the strip club. I really don't give a damn about him whacking off some Lacey Duvalle flick.... now if its Mr. Marcus and some other man. Then that's a damn problem. I don't expect him to stop looking at porn and pleasuring himself, just because he's with me now. Hell he's been doing that since he was 12, he's just suppose to stop because he's has a more available box now? Yeah he's not going to stop. Some women think that they should be enough and he should have or want to do it anymore. Well do you need to need to eat, sleep, and piss... well then he needs to masturbate. His need to whack off more than likely has nothing to do with you, even if y'all have a healthy sex life....he's still going to need to let some steam off by himself. It just is what it is and I'm find with that, as long as he doesn't use my good towels.

3) Calling/texting- I maybe a different type of girl but I don't need my bf calling/texting me all the damn time. I'm not the busiest woman in the world by no means... but I do have a life. I don't feel the need to call/text my man or have him do the same thing all the time. This isn't the real life version of Save by the Bell, I don't have to know what you ate for damn lunch, or that the new intern spilt coffee on you tie. Just like he doesn't need to know me and my coworker spent 30 minutes talking about who should play Christian Grey from 50 Shades of Grey. All that extra shit isn't need, as long as I know you're okay, safe, and your day is going decently, I'm good. I don't need to be all up in my phone like I'm Kelly Kapowski and your Zack Morris…. dude I have a job and you do to (or we wouldn't be dating). If I'm always talking to my bf on the phone or texting him, what the hell are we going to talk about when we see each other? The phases of the moon... I already talk to 5-6 people on the phone regularly everyday.... and at this time I can't add someone else to the rotation. I don't need as Trey Songz would say, a LOL smilely face dude at this moment in time.

4) Going out-Look I've never been a homebody, it’s out of circumstance that I'm force to be in my house a lot more than I like to be right now. With that being said I'm not exactly a Lindsay Lohan circa 2009 party girl, smoking meth and getting kicked out of bars but I am most definitely a girl that enjoys the nightlife or day life at that. So what kind of hypocrite would I be if every time my man goes out I give him this face? I'm not going to trip if he wants to hang out with his friends because I'm more than likely out with mine somewhere. I'm really not going to be concern if he likes hanging out in bars in Boston or anywhere else for that matter, where everyone knows his name. If I trust him there's no need to be steam pressed about him going out, if I don't trust well then maybe I shouldn't be dating him in the first place. 


5) What his friends/family thinks about me- Now it would be ideal if they liked me and we all got along like a cute little episode of Full House but it’s not necessary. I’m dating him not his crew. I had to learn that, hey not everybody is going to like. For whatever the hell reason and that's cool. This isn't high school and I'm not here to get your vote for prom queen. Its okay not to like people but it’s not okay to disrespect people. His people don't have to like me and vice a versa but we do have to respect each other. Now if the respect isn't there; well that's when shit gets tricky and something has got to give. Because I'll be damn if I go to his family cookout and they're serving me BBQ wings from Winn- Dixie and drinks with Everclear Vodka in it. But mean well back at the ranch they're eating BBQ chicken from Whole Foods and drinking Ciroc.... absolutely not!! 

It's a House Party

                                                                       

I was watching one of the greatest movies ever this past weekend House Party. No, I really love this movie!!! Play was like my first crush, I’m not sure why people were so much Kid’s nut-sack? I think it had something to do with the fact that he was light-skin and that ish was very much in style back then, but moving along. The first House Partymovie was most definitely the best one, two was pretty good and three was….. well you can be the judge on that. House Party was a great movie because it showed us how a real house party should be done and what sometimes can go down having a house party at one’s house. So here’s a couple of things that need to take place for one’s house party to be poppin’.

1)      You need a DJ or a bangin’ ass playlist: In the movie Bilal (Martin Lawrence) was the DJ and he kept the music going all night long no Lionel Richie. He knew when to play a fast song and when to throw on a slow one. It’s about timing people. Sidenote:Remember the part in the movie when old boy keep on knocking the DJ table and Bilal was about to kick his ass, hilarious.  There was no dead air going on and that’s definitely how things should be. If you don’t want, can’t afford, or have no space for a DJ to setup. Please make sure you make a playlist in advance and of songs people actually want to hear. Look nothing is worse than Meek Mills I’m a boss playing and the next song that comes on is Katy Perry’s Teenage Dream (I love that song). The two don’t go together, there’s no way for those two songs to together, so please don’t try it. Also please use your iPod and not your damn phone as your musical device. There’s also nothing worse than having the music stop every time you get a phone call that is an epic fail on so many levels.

2)      Food and Beverage:  Look tell people if food and drinks are going to be provided or not. If it’s a BYOB tell somebody before the liquor store closes. If no food is going to be there tell people. So they can eat before they get there, don’t have a sh!t load of alcohol and have folks drinking on an empty stomach. That’s a recipe for a perfect storm in your bathroom. Also going to a dry ass party isn’t what’s hot on the streets, people will leave if the libations aren’t flowing, I’m just saying.

3)      Gender Roles: I hate when I show up at someone’s house party and it’s a damn egg salad party (the equivalent of a sausage party for females) that sh!t sucks. If I wanted to hang out with girls I would have called my girlfriends to come over to my place and we would have exhaled. If you have a party with nothing but people of the same sex there, the people of the opposite sex will leave. I didn’t leave my house to hang out with a bunch of girls I don’t know and 9 times out of 10 I’m not trying to get to know. This isn’t the first day of 7^th grade and I’m trying to make new friends at a new school. I came here to drink, dance, and flirt with boys and I’m sure dudes feel the same way too.

Now here’s a list of things that’s going to happen if you throw a house party:

1)      Something in your house is going to break or go missing: Just like in the movie and Play’s toilet got broken. It’s going to happen and that’s just the way it is. Somebody is going break a dish, clog up your sink, or maybe do a f*ck your couch n*gga a la Rick James. Also something is going to come up missing .Your china, broom, Martin DVDs, or money. Something isn’t going to be as it was before you threw a party. Be prepared. So… hide yo kids, hide yo wife and hide yo husband  cuz’ they rapin e’rybody out here. 

2)      Drunkenness: If there’s liquor at your party somebody is going to get Gucci Mane wasted. There’s always that one person that doesn’t know there limit (hate this person, get your sh!t together). They will act a fool and do some dumb sh!t. Just like in the movie, that Mike Tyson looking dude got drunk and his big ass fell out on the floor, SMH. So yeah it’s going to happen hopefully they’ll get their drunk ass home before the alcohol takes them to a whole other level. Like passed out in a pool of vomit on your bathroom floor level. I have seen it happen and please don’t be that person people, will talk about you.

3)      Somebody is going to try to shut that sh!t down: The hate of having a bangin ass house party is unbelievable. In the movie Play not  only had one but two people try to shut that shit down, like the number 8 song on Drake’s Thank me later album. The hatin’ ass neighbors (John Witherspoon) called the police multiple times, but then again I think that party was like on a Wednesday night. So if you live in Wisteria Lane type of place throwing a party on a random weeknight isn’t going to work. Also those Jheri-curl husky ass boys (Full Force) didn’t get invited and wanted to shut the party down because they were hatin’. So beware of those that didn’t get the invite, they may try to burn your house down.

So there we have it people, what’s your thoughts about having or going to a house party?