500 Hundred Days Of Summer

This is one of my favorite romantic comedies….. if you haven’t seen this movie oh well this is a spoiler alert. Long story short the movie is about a boy (Tom) that falls head over heels in love with a girl  (Summer) that doesn’t really believe in love, well at least not true love and soul mates. So as you can imagine the boy’s heart gets A-Town stomped by said girl and he goes around looking like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh for a little bit and then he gets mad and tries to rage against the machine because the woman he believes is his soul-mate doesn’t exactly feel the same way about him. There’s this one line in the movie that when I first heard it I swear it was like a lighting bulb went off in my head. 

“Just because she likes the same bizzaro crap as you do doesn’t mean she’s your soul mate.”   

Let’s forget about the fact that is line was said by the Tom’s sister who was probably in the 5^th grade or something. Sometimes kids tell nothing but the truth and damnit, that’s exactly what she did. That was nothing short of the gospel here. Sometimes when we meet a person that clicks with us on so many levels, we believe its fate, divine intervention, destiny or whatever else. That person must be your one and only. I mean how many people own every season of every show that was on ABC’s TGIF? Who else subscribes to the tumblr page sweet desserts, thinks Jodeci was the best male r&b group of all time, cuts out clips from magazines on home décor, or whatever weird thing you do/think that no else gets. Guess what a lot more people than you think, you're not that different or unique from most people. So if somebody is into all the same extreme shit you’re into….. doesn’t exactly make them your soul mate or you guys are meant to be together. It could just mean that y'all are very much alike and should probably start a club or meetup group to do the strange hobbies y'all enjoy together. 

Same taste in things doesn’t equal soul mate, and that’s not to say I don’t believe in soul mates or anything. I’m actually undecided about that at the moment.  All I’m saying is that just because a person likes the Winter’s Night wallflowers from Bath & Body Works just like you doesn’t mean that they should be your partner for life. It just means y’all like the same shit. There’s no need to go building this relationship into something grander than what it is, and maybe y’all are really meant to be together but let that develop naturally. Don’t go building this molehill of a relationship into a mountain. All I’m saying is that relationships aren’t like tights from Forever 21 one size doesn’t fit for all. Just because your friend and her boyfriend have so much in common doesn't mean you and your next bf should be just like them. Don’t go start singing Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown duets, talking about y’all have something in common, just because y’all both like French foreign films. You could just be passing your real soul mate up all because they’re not into Game of Thrones like that other person you like. 

Music Spotlight: Miguel

I usually don't really blog about music but since this is my blog... I'll talk about whatever I feel like and today its music. More specifically its about one particular artist Miguel..... I love his music!! Although he maybe the  fairest pixie fairy this side of the Mississippi. In my mind me and him are very good girlfriends we do things like go shopping, drink skinny girl margaritas, and watch old episodes of the Golden Girls together. But all jokes aside his music is banging!!!!! When I first heard of Miguel I believe I was watching vh1 soul or something and this video came on.

I thought the song was cute.... well no I did actually really like the song and added it to by ipod but I really didn't give Miguel or his music much thought after that. Well a few months went by and I was in one of my friend's car and she was listen to Miguel's debut album and it was good. I mean it was really good.... you can listen to that CD from the beginning to end and not skip a song. That's pretty damn rare these days.. shit most folks albums consist of a couple hot singles and the rest of the album is hot garbage. Yes I'm talking to you Usher that album he put out earlier this summer.. well let's just say it left much to be desired. So the next day after hearing Miguel's CD in my friends car I actually physically went out and purchased that CD, and that's something I rarely do. I've been listening to it ever since. Well I'm not going to sit up here and pretend that the boy isn't strange fruit because my God is he is. Between getting into twitter beefs with people like Lloyd about haircuts and no-lye relaxers. If he wants to be mad at someone about jacking hairstyles, he needs to direct his attention to Bruno Mars. They are both winning the award for the best Johnny Bravo duplicate haircut. 

Then he got all the way into his feelings about not being nominated for a Grammy, but to be honest they did shade the fuck out of him for that. Oh let''s not forget him trying to convince anyone with Internet access he likes vagina.... boy O_o...... ok good sir and taking instagram pics with his girlfriend/beard. Boy guess.... I convinced he's trying to be the millennium version of Prince, but here's the thing with all of Prince's purpleness I have never thought he was gay... Did I think he was eccentric? Yes. Freaky? Yes. Gay? Naw. Miguel well.... that isn't for me to say but this isn't about whether or not he likes a strong cock or not. It's about his music and that shit is banging .... I can honestly say there isn't a song I've heard from him that I don't like. The first time I heard this song below I listened to it on repeat for the rest of the day and was actually pissed it was only like 2 minutes. So when the full song dropped this summer... I got my life to it. His sophomore album is dropping next month and I strongly suggest you get into it. He has a couple of mixtapes out Art Dealer Chic Vol. 1-3, there are 3 songs a piece on each volume and I love them. He always has two previews out for his new album as well Kaleidoscope Dreams. After listening to both the mixtapes and previews, I convinced that this boy is slaying everyone else in the R&B game... yes you Trey Songz, Usher, Ne-yo and anyone else you can think of. Therefore I don't care if he wants to wear his hair like Wayman from Low Down Dirty Shame and dress like the real life version of Jafar from Aladdin. His music goes..... now if we can only get Justin Timberlake's ass together all would be well in the land of music. 

What Means The World To You

You know for some people certain things take top priority while in a relationship but I ain't here to talk about that today. I want to talk about those things that aren't a priority to me while in a relationship. The shit some may flip the fuck out about if their boo did or didn't these things. While for me these things are just the icing on the cake.... what some people fell to realize is that the cake itself is the most important thing. So with out further adieu, here's a list of things that I don't give two hot damns about while in a relationship

1) Strip Clubs- I have a friend that was damn near in tears when she found out her man went the strip club and I just couldn't give her the sympathy she seeked from me at that moment in time. I was just sitting thinking what the hell is the big deal? He went to look at some girls shake their ass and titties... big whoop. If she would've told me he went to some type of Magic Mike strip club...well Houston, Dallas, and San Antonio we have a problem. Honestly you can't even inappropriately touch those girls without some Debo looking ass dude coming to damn near break your arm if you get too close. Also they don't even get butt ass naked in a lot of the strip clubs north of the Mason-Dixon Line. Maybe it’s the Atlanta in me but strip clubs don't bother me, I have been in enough to see what goes on there and I don't care. Now if these fools are going to the strip club on their lunch breaks and spending rent money on some fake ass Buffy the Body... well then that's another story.


2) Porn- Well it kinda falls into the same category as the strip club. I really don't give a damn about him whacking off some Lacey Duvalle flick.... now if its Mr. Marcus and some other man. Then that's a damn problem. I don't expect him to stop looking at porn and pleasuring himself, just because he's with me now. Hell he's been doing that since he was 12, he's just suppose to stop because he's has a more available box now? Yeah he's not going to stop. Some women think that they should be enough and he should have or want to do it anymore. Well do you need to need to eat, sleep, and piss... well then he needs to masturbate. His need to whack off more than likely has nothing to do with you, even if y'all have a healthy sex life....he's still going to need to let some steam off by himself. It just is what it is and I'm find with that, as long as he doesn't use my good towels.

3) Calling/texting- I maybe a different type of girl but I don't need my bf calling/texting me all the damn time. I'm not the busiest woman in the world by no means... but I do have a life. I don't feel the need to call/text my man or have him do the same thing all the time. This isn't the real life version of Save by the Bell, I don't have to know what you ate for damn lunch, or that the new intern spilt coffee on you tie. Just like he doesn't need to know me and my coworker spent 30 minutes talking about who should play Christian Grey from 50 Shades of Grey. All that extra shit isn't need, as long as I know you're okay, safe, and your day is going decently, I'm good. I don't need to be all up in my phone like I'm Kelly Kapowski and your Zack Morris…. dude I have a job and you do to (or we wouldn't be dating). If I'm always talking to my bf on the phone or texting him, what the hell are we going to talk about when we see each other? The phases of the moon... I already talk to 5-6 people on the phone regularly everyday.... and at this time I can't add someone else to the rotation. I don't need as Trey Songz would say, a LOL smilely face dude at this moment in time.

4) Going out-Look I've never been a homebody, it’s out of circumstance that I'm force to be in my house a lot more than I like to be right now. With that being said I'm not exactly a Lindsay Lohan circa 2009 party girl, smoking meth and getting kicked out of bars but I am most definitely a girl that enjoys the nightlife or day life at that. So what kind of hypocrite would I be if every time my man goes out I give him this face? I'm not going to trip if he wants to hang out with his friends because I'm more than likely out with mine somewhere. I'm really not going to be concern if he likes hanging out in bars in Boston or anywhere else for that matter, where everyone knows his name. If I trust him there's no need to be steam pressed about him going out, if I don't trust well then maybe I shouldn't be dating him in the first place. 


5) What his friends/family thinks about me- Now it would be ideal if they liked me and we all got along like a cute little episode of Full House but it’s not necessary. I’m dating him not his crew. I had to learn that, hey not everybody is going to like. For whatever the hell reason and that's cool. This isn't high school and I'm not here to get your vote for prom queen. Its okay not to like people but it’s not okay to disrespect people. His people don't have to like me and vice a versa but we do have to respect each other. Now if the respect isn't there; well that's when shit gets tricky and something has got to give. Because I'll be damn if I go to his family cookout and they're serving me BBQ wings from Winn- Dixie and drinks with Everclear Vodka in it. But mean well back at the ranch they're eating BBQ chicken from Whole Foods and drinking Ciroc.... absolutely not!! 

I Was Just Frontin'

I was shooting the shit with a friend of mine the other day and somehow and someway we started talking about how some women change their whole damn demeanor once a man enters the premises.   Now the man doesn’t even have to be her “type”, attractive, or someone she could see herself dating, the only criteria he needs to cause such a change is a penis. When I say change, I’m not talking about simple things. There are certain things I’m not going to talk about around random men, such as my mind-numbing cramps, nipple sensitivity, my latest pap smear results, or just anything that has to do with my reproductive organs. Yeah there’s no need to have a briefing about the state of my vagina around men that aren't going to see it. 

What I’m referring to are women that as soon as they sense a penis in their atmosphere. They stand up straight, stick their butts and chest out, they put on perfume, fluff their hair, and start whispering like Marilyn Monroe. They from the pic on the left 

to the pic on the right . They just don’t do this shit for their men, no they put on this show for all men, that aren’t immediate family. Now I understand trying to put your best foot forward and dangling bait for men you deem attractive because I’ve done that and will continue to do so, but what I’m not about to do is to that all that extra shit for the knot-kneed mailman. Absolutely not!!! A lot women particpate in this nonsense, it just isn’t that damn deep.

It’s not only a physical front these women put up  either, not only are these girls changing into Betty Boop without a clue, they’re losing their personalities as well. Example I few years ago I was at my cousin’s house in NYC and her friend was in their talking about how Superbad was the funniest movie she had ever seen and whatnot. As I had seen Superbad I agreed it was a pretty funny movie, 30 minutes later my cousin’s boyfriend and two of his extra-regular ass friends are at my cousin’s place. They had just seen Pineapple Express at the movies and said it was the funniest shit ever. Now I had seen Pineapple Express too, it was funny but in my opinion it wasn’t as funny as SuperBad. This was also the opinion of my cousin's friend as well, but 30 minutes later when these dudes are ripping Superbad to shredded cheese. This same girl who said Superbad was the funniest movie she's ever seen now agrees with the humans with the penises that Pineapple Express was funnier O_o. The rest of us girls were just looking at her like she was crazy.... but she was unbothered by us because she's now sitting at the cool kids table with the boys. 

Chile I guess.... It just seems like behaving in such a manner would be exhausting. Honestly how long can one put up this facade.  Like if you like 2 Chainz but some dude doesn't, he thinks 2 Chainz shouldn't even be rapping on Sesame Street. What the hell are you gonna do? Agree that your favorite rapper is wack or defend him like The Union did against General Robert E. Lee and the Confederates at the Battle of Gettysburg??? Do you know that every time No Lie or Riot comes on and you're around this man, you won't be able to lose your mind!! Well if you want that life, more power to you but I 'm sorry I'm not about to fake the funk for anybody. You can either love or leave me alone~ Jay-Z 

Is Your Destiny Your Doom?

                                                                             

“Your destiny can be your doom.”

This line is from one of my favorite movies Sleepless in Settle. If you haven’t seen it please direct your attention to TNT or the WE channel because they play this movie at least 3 times a week. So I’m not going to go into what the movie is all about but this particular scene where the above line is said with Meg Ryan and Rosie O’ Donald has always stood out to me. In the scene Meg Ryan’s character (Annie) is going on and on about Tom Hanks’s character (Sam) about how this man (whom she’s never actually met in person) is “the one” and her destiny blah,blah, blah. Rosie O’Donald’s character (Becky) has been bearing witness to Meg turn herself into a basket case the entire movie.  Ever so nonchalantly says, “Your destiny can be your doom . Look at me and Rick.” (Rick was her ex-husband and the marriage was a disaster).  She doesn’t explain what she meant by her statement, why? Because there’s no explanation needed, it’s simple, its plain, and one of the realest things I’ve ever heard in a movie.  Meanwhile, Annie just stands there, like a deer in headlights, as if she can’t understand what was just said to her or maybe she did get it and the truth hit her like a ton of bricks.

Sometimes we get so caught up in a person or an idea that we don’t really see the big picture or we don’t see that person or that idea/thing for what it really is. Sometimes the truth of the matter is that that person/thing we’re chasing is a hot a$$ mess. But we’re so in the moment or focus on making this thing happen we don’t see things for what they really are. We literally can’t see the forest for all the trees; we start to lose perspective on things that actually matter. It’s just like in the movies when the girl is so caught up in chasing her dream guy. She’s driving herself crazy trying to be with this person i.e. changing their whole personality, ditching their friends, etc. Eventually all the hard work pays off and they start dating their ideal mate and guess what? That person is their doom he/she is a total a$$hole and then they start to see the error in their ways. Oh…. I forgot to mention that there’s always that “friend” that pays the back and has been secretly in love with them since Jesus was a little boy. Then they see the “friend” for what they really are (the love of their life) and they fall in love and live happily ever after or something like that. Just like in Something Kind of Wonderful or any Katherine Heigl movie. The point I’m trying to make is sometimes you have to ask yourself are you chasing your destiny or are you chasing waterfalls thinking it’s your destiny? Because if you're not careful the destiny you think you're going after just may very well be your doom. 

It's a House Party

                                                                       

I was watching one of the greatest movies ever this past weekend House Party. No, I really love this movie!!! Play was like my first crush, I’m not sure why people were so much Kid’s nut-sack? I think it had something to do with the fact that he was light-skin and that ish was very much in style back then, but moving along. The first House Partymovie was most definitely the best one, two was pretty good and three was….. well you can be the judge on that. House Party was a great movie because it showed us how a real house party should be done and what sometimes can go down having a house party at one’s house. So here’s a couple of things that need to take place for one’s house party to be poppin’.

1)      You need a DJ or a bangin’ ass playlist: In the movie Bilal (Martin Lawrence) was the DJ and he kept the music going all night long no Lionel Richie. He knew when to play a fast song and when to throw on a slow one. It’s about timing people. Sidenote:Remember the part in the movie when old boy keep on knocking the DJ table and Bilal was about to kick his ass, hilarious.  There was no dead air going on and that’s definitely how things should be. If you don’t want, can’t afford, or have no space for a DJ to setup. Please make sure you make a playlist in advance and of songs people actually want to hear. Look nothing is worse than Meek Mills I’m a boss playing and the next song that comes on is Katy Perry’s Teenage Dream (I love that song). The two don’t go together, there’s no way for those two songs to together, so please don’t try it. Also please use your iPod and not your damn phone as your musical device. There’s also nothing worse than having the music stop every time you get a phone call that is an epic fail on so many levels.

2)      Food and Beverage:  Look tell people if food and drinks are going to be provided or not. If it’s a BYOB tell somebody before the liquor store closes. If no food is going to be there tell people. So they can eat before they get there, don’t have a sh!t load of alcohol and have folks drinking on an empty stomach. That’s a recipe for a perfect storm in your bathroom. Also going to a dry ass party isn’t what’s hot on the streets, people will leave if the libations aren’t flowing, I’m just saying.

3)      Gender Roles: I hate when I show up at someone’s house party and it’s a damn egg salad party (the equivalent of a sausage party for females) that sh!t sucks. If I wanted to hang out with girls I would have called my girlfriends to come over to my place and we would have exhaled. If you have a party with nothing but people of the same sex there, the people of the opposite sex will leave. I didn’t leave my house to hang out with a bunch of girls I don’t know and 9 times out of 10 I’m not trying to get to know. This isn’t the first day of 7^th grade and I’m trying to make new friends at a new school. I came here to drink, dance, and flirt with boys and I’m sure dudes feel the same way too.

Now here’s a list of things that’s going to happen if you throw a house party:

1)      Something in your house is going to break or go missing: Just like in the movie and Play’s toilet got broken. It’s going to happen and that’s just the way it is. Somebody is going break a dish, clog up your sink, or maybe do a f*ck your couch n*gga a la Rick James. Also something is going to come up missing .Your china, broom, Martin DVDs, or money. Something isn’t going to be as it was before you threw a party. Be prepared. So… hide yo kids, hide yo wife and hide yo husband  cuz’ they rapin e’rybody out here. 

2)      Drunkenness: If there’s liquor at your party somebody is going to get Gucci Mane wasted. There’s always that one person that doesn’t know there limit (hate this person, get your sh!t together). They will act a fool and do some dumb sh!t. Just like in the movie, that Mike Tyson looking dude got drunk and his big ass fell out on the floor, SMH. So yeah it’s going to happen hopefully they’ll get their drunk ass home before the alcohol takes them to a whole other level. Like passed out in a pool of vomit on your bathroom floor level. I have seen it happen and please don’t be that person people, will talk about you.

3)      Somebody is going to try to shut that sh!t down: The hate of having a bangin ass house party is unbelievable. In the movie Play not  only had one but two people try to shut that shit down, like the number 8 song on Drake’s Thank me later album. The hatin’ ass neighbors (John Witherspoon) called the police multiple times, but then again I think that party was like on a Wednesday night. So if you live in Wisteria Lane type of place throwing a party on a random weeknight isn’t going to work. Also those Jheri-curl husky ass boys (Full Force) didn’t get invited and wanted to shut the party down because they were hatin’. So beware of those that didn’t get the invite, they may try to burn your house down.

So there we have it people, what’s your thoughts about having or going to a house party?

Could It Be Love At First Sight?

Love at first sight. What exactly is that? Boy sees girl coming out the bookstore and is immediately fixated on her. He honestly can't take his eyes off of her. Its like that scene in "She's All That", when Zack sees Laney walking down the stairs after her makeover, suddenly she's beautiful and that "Kiss me song" is playing in the background and all is right in the world. Well she looked the same to me, they just replaced her glasses with contacts. Anyhoo, so boy sees girl and is breathless. Finds said girl and asks her out, she says yes to the date and they live happily ever after. When people ask them about their love, they say it was love at first sight. 

*Puts wine glass down*

I do believe that some romances are a whirlwind affairs but let talk about the rest of the 99% dating population. That shit just doesn't happen in real life. In real life boy sees girl and thinks she's attractive, tries holla, she's either responsive or shatters he's dreams like The Heat's dream of a championship this year or the one after. They may go out or they may not because dudes these days seem not to know what the hell a date is. Either way dude tries to have sex with girl. Which again maybe she will or maybe she won't (but according to Lil' Wayne and Drake she will) and somewhere while all this is going on a relationship starts to take shape.  I think this is the blueprint most relationship are formed on these days. There's no fireworks, annoying pop love songs from the 90's being played in the background, or slaying of dragons. Two people meet and they seem to like each other, so they go out together, spend time together and see if they can continue to like each other. There's no ribbon written in the sky for their love, well at least not at first. You just met this person but you love them, chile its only been 2 months but y'all love is stronger than Martin and Gina's. Oh okay, do you know he chews his toenails in bed? Do you know she watches Steel Magnolias 20 times a day when she's on her period? But its all love? Ummmm that's lust and good sex sir and ma'am not love. Honestly I prefer the let's see where this goes method over the love at first sight way because love at first sight is usually cured by a second look. 

Does It Really Have To Be So Hard?

Love, what does it mean to? Wait. Don't answer that, to some people love is just like a page out of the "The Notebook". I love this movie,  I really do but I think it puts an unrealistic twist on love. This movie and ones like it, where two people meet, fall desperately in love and then their love is torn apart in the most outlandish fashion. Then someone makes a grand gesture such standing outside of their one and only's window with a boom box over their head, like in "Say Anything" ( btw "Say Anything" is one of the greatest romantic movies ever). First of all who does that in real life? I'll tell you who, nobody or 14 year old lovestruck boys. Then the movie ends with, boy and girl may or may not end up together. The common theme through a lot of these movies is the couple go through sooooo much agony and pain,  just to get to the pleasure. All I'm saying is that sometimes pleasure isn't pain, its just plain and simple pain.

See theses movies, book, and TV has got people going around thinking love and has got to be this emotional roller coaster full of twist and turns for people to believe that they're really in love with the other person. Like some epic ish has got to happen for it to be real. Look that's the movies. You're not Allie and he's not Noah, nobody is going to build you a house just to get over the pain of losing you. Stop living your life like an episode of Friends, where you Rachel and he's Ross and y'all spend ten years tip-toing around the idea of really being together. Even though they got together in the end, look and all the bs they went through to get to that point. The breakups, the makeups, it was just too much.

I just don't think love has to be that hard and painful, even if the pain is exquisite. Relationships are hard and everyday isn't going to be rainbows and butterflies. It's like anything else in life, you get out of it what you put in it. But if you're breaking your backing and busting your balls trying to make that thing work, well maybe you aren't in love with the right person. That right there is what the movies never tell you.