1) Tanning- Listen people we may have to break this down by ethnic groups but here we go. People of Caucasian descent please skin burn is real and so is skin cancer, sunscreen is needed at all times. I understand that during the colder months that you may not get the sun you so desperately seek so that as soon as it hits 70 degrees you're outside sunbathing..... I get looking like Casper the Ghost is NOT what's up but looking like this trick isn't neither. Black people just because we're black and have melanin in our skin doesn't mean we shouldn't be using sunscreen skin cancer is real in the battlefield.
2) Bathing Suits- I'm not my ideal weight and I haven't gone to Weight watchers to get my Jennifer Hudson on, really the girl is small as hell now kudos to her. I'm going to wear the correct size swimming suit and not my dream size swimming suit because I'm not that dam delusional. Some of y'all are out here being a smooth ass size 16 trying to get into a size a 4 bathing suit, ummmmm no madam that's not gonna work. If you didn't get to your special K diet back in January and started on May 1st your ass just may have missed the boat, and that's okay buy and wear your size or cover ups.... its okay. Try again for next summer, shit that's what I'm gonna do size 6 here I come.
3) Swimming Pools- So as I was talking about bathing suits in the previous point..... some of y'all please go buy one point blank period. I've gone to many swimming pools and beaches and have seen too many grown ass people going to these places in in their underwear. Yes, grown woman in bra and panties at the pool and grown men in boxer briefs like they're swimming attire (penises swinging like bats) like that's what's hot.... well newsflash it isn't. No person that has gone through puberty should be at the pool/beach in undergarments... its just tacky!!! Take your ass to Wal-Mart and get a $20 swimming suit and call it a day. No country for people that swim in their Fruit of the Looms, get the fuck out of here with that. Also people please don't pee in the pool, chlorine or no chlorine that's just nasty!!!
4) Air Conditioner- People with your going to have people at your house or have your cut buddy come through for the late night creep, PLEASE have working AC. Ain't nothing worst than going over someone's house and they have no AC. It's literally the fucking worst thing in life. Please get that shit under control before you invite people over, I don't care how many fans you have in your house, that shit could be like a windmill factory its not gonna make up for AC.
5) Day Drinking- This includes day parties, brunches with endless mimosas, happy hours, just what ever the fuck else. I have fallen victim to a few (okay several) endless mimosas brunches myself and these shits will ruin your life. Like real talk no flex drinking during the day will have you drunk as a bitch at 2:00pm on a Sunday.... looking like Lady Gaga, where are my keys? I lost my phone. I've literally gone to endless mimosas brunch at 11:00am and woke up at the end of True Blood (8:55pm) and had no idea how I got home. Now maybe this is an admission that I'm somewhat of a slush, but hell y'all knew that already but I choose to believe and blame it on mimosas and french toast. Listen folks school/work isn't out for summer for us ( well maybe it is if your a teacher or something), drinking like its Friday night on Sunday/Saturday morning or afternoon will have your ass out for the count. I know of what I speak. Drink responsibility....... because it's summertime.
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