How Pressed Can You Be?

I've never understood people who go out with someone and sleep with said person within a week or two of meeting this person and now y'all go together. I'm sorry but there's a disconnect here. Girls (and boys too) will go out with some man they met at the club, go on one date and sleep with him and now y'all are in a relationship. You're all up on his twitter page, changing your facebook relationship status, and telling you mama all about him. Really???? How is this possible? You're telling your friends about how much you're feeling him and going around being very much like Amerie in 2002, talking about why don't we fall in love? Chile.. please go kill yourself. Do you even know how crazy you sound? Can you please tell me how you go from  the 1st date eating dinner with this man at The Cheesecake Factory to picking out the color of your bridesmaids dresses?

What is being demonstrated here is an extreme case of being pressed. Yes, people who think like this is  are more pressed than Steve Harvey's suit on the day he's hosting the Celebration of Gospel for the 20th time. I just don't understand it. How do you go from meeting someone to telling people this is my new boo, all in a week. Nobody can be that sprung, can they? The sad thing about being this press and that the other party never feels the same way. Never I say. They're not at home doodling the other person's name in a notebook or dreaming about getting Brian McKnight to sing at the wedding. Nope, none of this stuff is going through their brain, they're chillin'. Which is exactly what your monkey ass should do to. Yeah they like you.... but it ain't love and y'all definitely don't go together, at least not yet. This isn't 7th grade miss/sir just because someone expressed some sort of feelings for you, doesn't mean its a relationship. So keep all thoughts like that stored in your trapper keeper and locked in your locker, with your Jr high thinking ass. Chill out, take a step back, and just date this person. Stop thinking David Tutera is coming to plan your wedding to this person and just keep things real cute.

Let me say this if the person you're so gaga over, had any idea how pressed you are, I'm pretty sure they would PAUSE on the whole situation between the two of you. There's nothing worst than a pressed person because honestly it comes off as desperate and who wants to be with a desperate person? No damn body, that's who. How are you already thinking about being in a relationship and all they're thinking about what movie to go see with you on Friday? It makes no sense. So just clam your happy ass down and relax and just let it happen.

Is There A Secret To Marriage?

I have you notice that the most people who give you advice about relationships aren't married people? Well I've started to notice it, now I've already gone in on Steve Harvey's a$$ http://therottenpeach.blogspot.com/2011/01/steve-harvey-relationship-expert-im.html but this isn't really about him, Hill Harper, Tyrese or anyone else for that matter. But let me say this I'm gonna need Tyrese to go back to singing, making the fast and the furious part 27 or something because him sitting around on twitter all day telling single women what they need to do or not do. Has to stop right now, its just not cute and I'm gonna need you to go back to your day job. If anyone saw him on the Wendy William's show, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. He was sitting there on that couch just sounding really crazy.

Now let me stop talking about Tyrese and get to my point, while I was watching him on the show I had a thought, why don't married people give out relationship advice? Like seriously I never hear married people talk about relationships, famous couples or not so famous ones they don't dish out advice about relationships. The only time married people start talking about their relationships is if they're having problems other than that their lips are sealed. You don't see Will Smith or Tom Hanks writing books about relationships, Why? I think I know the answer. See married people happily married people know the secret to stay that way, which is. There is no secret except to keep your mouth shut and keep outsiders to a minimum. 

See when a couple is happy there's really no need to go around spewing out advice because they're too busy being happy or marginal happy. When advice is given out especially about relationships people want to know what makes said person an expert. What's their relationship like, how long have they been with their partner? The questions are never ending. Which is why I believe married people don't usually volunteer giving advice about relationships, a lot of the time it just starts to become too invasive. When you have people that are prying in to your personal business/relationship it muddy the waters and most of the time causes unnecessary drama inside of your relationship. So I assume its just easier for them just not to advise people about the inner workings of marriage and just let those who aren't married keep giving out advice, confusing the sh!t out of us single people. 

Steve Harvey The Relationship Expert, I'm Going to Need More People

The other day I was watching TV and came across The Steve Harvey Show, and a thought entered my head. How and when did Steve Harvey become a relationship expert? When did we take a vote on this and say yes I want Steve Harvey to publish a book talking about how to act like a lady, and think like a man. If you would've told me ten years ago when his show was on TV, that this man would be dishing out relationship advice like meds in a psych ward. I would have laughed, who've thought that this guy with his loud suits and his hair plugs. Would be the go-to guy for relationship advice. I demand we recount this vote.

See my problem with Steve Harvey and his advice is that he has a sketchy relationship background, he has been married three times! So my question is what makes him qualified to be an expert on relationships when he's fail at them on at least two occasions. Some may say since he's been through all the ups and downs then he knows of what he speaks.  Well I'm not buying it, I'm not renting it, I don't want to put it on layaway, and I don't want a damn raincheck. I'm sorry Steve Harvey I just can't rock with you on this. The thing that really kills me about his expertise is that women are really buying into his advice. I've  had so many women ask me if I've read his book, in which I reply I've skimmed through it at the bookstore. I can say I found that he did have some good points. But so does the my hairdresser, and the dude in the mailroom but does that make them experts? A better question is why is that when a woman attempts to be a relationship expert she has to have a Ph.D, been married for at least 5 years, and a whole list of other qualifications before anybody will listen to her?

The point of it all people is that relationship advice doesn't have to come from books, movies, or your mama. Nobody is an expert  because what works for one person may not work for the next. I'm just not sure people should go around quoting relationship advice from books written by comedians or any pseudo celebrity like its the new gospel. I'm not knocking Steve Harvey or anybody like him, cause lord knows these days everybody needs a side-hustle. All I'm saying is advice can come from anywhere or anybody, you just have to know where to apply it.  The best advice I got about relationships so goes a little something like this. "When I guy likes you'll know it and when he doesn't he'll confuse the shit out of you"~ Grandma