No Happy Valentine's Day

                                                                            

                                 

Hate Valentine’s Day!!

Fuck Love!!

I wish it was just the 15^th already!!!!

These are things I hear and you’ve probably have heard by bitter, lonely, and single people all over the world. When I hear ish like this I’m left to wonder….. who in the hell hurt you??? Like for real is it even that damn serious that these statement even come out of your mouth? I guess for some folks it really is that serious. Look I haven’t had a really valentine since I was like in 9^thgrade but do you see me rolling my eyes because my coworker got flowers delivered to her or wanting to jump in Lake Michigan on a cold ass February day. Ummmm NO. Why? Because I don’t hate Valentine’s Day even though I don’t have a valentine. To be fair I am kinda obsessed with holidays in general, kinda in a Joan Clayton from Girlfriends way. But that’s not the point; the point is that it’s a day that love is to be celebrated. So how in the world can you be mad at that, even if you don’t have a significant other in your life per say Valentine’s Day is still about Love.

I mean I know it’s more for a romantic type of love but still it’s about love. Love is love no matter where it comes from, so if the romantic love isn’t in your life at this point in time. Focus on the love from your family or from your friends. Don’t be like the Grinch that stole Valentine’s Day because it really isn’t that serious. Its flowers, candy, dinner, and sex for most couples; all things you can buy or do by yourself without the help of someone else. So don’t be a bitter Betty or Ben its one day I promise you will survive and if you don’t think you can handle all the happy couples that day. Then please stay your ass at home and get I flunked out of college freshman year drunk. 

Whitney Houston

                           



As y'all know Whitney Houston passed away yesterday. I really don't have much to say about her death, expect that I feel like one of my Aunts has passed on. I was really devastate by this news. She was/is an musical icon, her music transcended generations..... like I have no words to expressed my shock and sadness about this.As a 80's baby her music has a special place in my heart. I remember her record pictured above was one of the 1st albums I ever had. I would come home from school and play I wanna dance with somebody everyday. I think my parents hid the album from me a couple of times because they were tried of hearing it My heart goes out her family, especially Bobbi Kristina. Whitney we love you and you'll truly be missed. We'll always love you.

Give It Up Turn It Loose

See the thing is that some folks just don’t know their roles in people’s lives. What exactly do I mean by this?  Well a lot of the time people really think that they mean much more to you than they really do. This is not to say that they themselves are about as useful as a used tampon to your life, it just means that they aren’t exactly in your top 5. It’s like when they’re not around it’s not like you’re going around singing Tamia’s Officially missing you. When you see or talk to them it’s cool and when you don’t its cool too. They bring no tangible assets to your life and maybe they did at one point in time but they definitely do not now. The dynamics in the friendship or relationship has change. Hell there may not have ever been any real dynamics so to speak of in the first place.

But to them y’all are like a child and their My Little Buddy doll. Like y’all are Jay-z and Damon Dash circa 2001 in their mind but in reality you guys are like Jay-Z and Damon Dash present day and that My Little Buddy doll has transformed into Chucky. The relationship/friendship fails to exist anymore or has turned into complete and utter shit. Y’all don’t talk on regular basis, y'all pretty much have no idea what’s going on in each other lives, unless it scrolls across your news feed on Facebook. But yet this person ever so often tries to interject themselves into your life. It’s weird and confusing…. doesn’t this person realize y’all ain't that cool.  They’re the kind of person that hears you’re going on a trip with your besties and they tries to invite themselves or get pissed off  that you didn’t invite them. Chile….. we ain't friends that’s why you ain’t going with me to Vegas. Facts are facts and the facts for the most part y’all aren’t FRIENDS!!! You guys are more like strangers pasting each other in the night. For some people that’s a hard pill to swallow, especially if y’all were once tight at some point in life. But people change and things don’t always remain the same. If two people have grown apart that just the facts of life, folks are always so quick to kick a romantic relationship that has grown staler than last year’s bread to the curb. But can’t seem to do the same when it comes to friendships that have degenerated in the same pattern.     

Well I’m here to say it’s okay not to be bff’s with someone anymore because the friendship has changed or is damn near non-existence. There’s no need to be frying today’s fish in last year’s rancid ass fish grease. Let that shit go!!! You don’t have to feel obliged to this person because y’all were friends forever in High School. Well high school is over and idk about everyone else but I’m not the exactly the same person I was in 12^thgrade and that’s not a bad thing. Its growth that’s what is and some people grow with you and some people grow apart from you and that’s OK. It doesn’t make you a bad person because you don’t wanna hang out friends from your past. You can wish them the best in life but you don’t necessarily need to be a part of their life. Now to the friend from way back then that doesn’t get this and feels the need to try to bulldoze their way into people’s lives. Stop this behavior immediately!!! You can make some want to be your friend, even if that person was once your very good friend. Stop trying to guilt trip that person because you didn’t get an evite to their B-day dinner. Take the hints and the clues they’re giving you…. You guys aren’t no longer on the TOP 5 level. All the texting and phone call in the world isn’t gonna change that. That person no longer views you as a valid person in their lives, for whatever reason. The reason maybe be as dumb as you ate the last chicken wing at Applebee’s 7 years ago or it could be major like you slept with her boyfriend. Whatever the reason is all the harassing (yes, I said harassing because at some point if a person isn’t responding to your calls, texts, e-mails, etc. it becomes harassment) isn't gonna make them want to be friends again. Sometimes as Usher said you’ve gotta let shit burn and that includes friendships.  This ain't gonna ever be y'all.

They’re some people in your life that even though you may not talk or see to them every day or even every month but they’re still your friend and y’all catch up and its like nothing ever changed. You pick up where you left off; the friendship connection is still intact. Then you have the other people that I just talked above. The connection is dead and gone and you could talk to them every day to the day you die but that connection is just gone and never coming back like Jodeci. Life isn’t an express train downtown; it’s a long Greyhound bus ride across the country.  They are many stops; people get on and off the bus. Some people get on and only get stay to the next stop, some get on and stay for several stops, and some get on and stay for the whole bus ride. So you have to realize and recognize which people are getting on your bus and when to tell them the next stop is theirs because they may not know and you’ll wind up with an overcrowded bus and no place for important people to sit.  

Pick Up The Phone

I have several pet peeves but today I want to talk about the one that truly makes me annoyed. Which is people who you haven’t heard from in a while that act like one the phone doesn’t work two ways and secondly they just don’t know how to say Hello in a proper manner after a significant amount of time has gone by since y'all last talked. To my first point the phone really does work two ways. If you want to talk to me just call me… I call the people I want to talk to all the time. If it wasn’t for unlimited minutes AT&T would be raping my bank account on a monthly basis. If I wanted to talk too certain people in my address book guess what? I would just simply call them but I don’t and there’s a reason for that. Either 1) I really don’t wanna talk to your ass 2) I’m too busy to talk your ass 3) I want to talk to your ass but maybe I feel like you don’t want to talk to my ass, so I avoid calling you. Its real simple folks it’s not AP calculus. I’m not calling you for one of those reasons and you my friend usually know which of those reasons as to why my name isn't showing up on your caller ID. If the reasons are unclear pick up the phone and ask me. People usually call other people for one or two reasons to pass along information (either giving or receiving it) or because that person crossed your mind and you want to see how they are doing. So if I’m or someone else isn’t calling you it’s because they don’t have any information for you and they don’t want whatever information you may have for them; or they all together are not really thinking about you enough to actually call you to see how you’re doing.    

Now to the people that actually do reach out and touch someone’s hand but do it in an ass backwards and shady ass way. Please go kick some rocks with no shoes on. What am I talking about exactly? Well these are the people that call/text/tweet/fax/smoke signals whatever form of communication they choose to use and say shit like this: “Hey long time no hear, I was about to chuck the deuces to you and our whole friendship…lol. Hey has anyone ever said you remind them of Olivia from Love and Hip and Hop (or you can insert whatever person you find to be highly annoying)”?  Now you probably haven’t spoken to this person in months and not only have they 1) annoyed the fuck out of you 2) shaded the hell out of you but they have 3) reminded you as to why y’all don’t talk anymore. This above situation has happened to me before and I always wonder what the fuck is wrong with this asshole? Then I say this is way I don’t talk to their ass. Who tells someone I’m chucking the deuces to our friendship? I tell you who does that..... people with too much time on their hands. Bitch please I been did that but I have more decorum than to tell people that; I just fade to black it's easier that way. Just because you added a LOL doesn’t mean you’re joking because we all know LOL these days just means ok or you say it when you don’t know what else to say. Now the second part of the message is what really gets me hot. What the hell do you mean I remind of this asinine character on TV? Like really what do you mean by that? Is it the way I look, act, talk, like what is it? What I’ve come to realize is that these people are doing this to get a reaction out you. See, a reaction whether its positive or negative is better than no reaction to them. No reaction indicates that you really don't give damn about their thoughts or their feelings. They throw shade just to engage you into conversation….. They think either you’re going to ignore it or just laugh it off. Well not this girl, if you throw shade at me, I’m throwing the whole window treatment back at you. Then I’m going to read you like a 2^nd grader reading Bernstein Bears books for Book-It Certificates. Don’t think saying little slick shit is the way to go about re-kindling friendships because it’s not. Especially if there’s long gaps of us not being in contact with one another because in all honestly it’s like you knew me abck then but you don’t know me now so chill.

Honorable mention goes to the “Hey stranger!!!” text now this right annoys me to no end. Do people even know the definition of stranger? If you don’t than here it is. 

Stranger (noun) 1) a person with whom one has had no personal acquaintance. 2) a newcomer in a place or locality. 3) a person who is unacquainted with or unaccustomed to something. So you get the point…. Therefore if you have my number and you’re calling me. I'm clearly not a stranger!!! So don’t come at me with that stranger bs, it’s annoying and stupid. It’s just as easy to say Hey, what’s up? But instead of taking the simple route folks stay wanting to be smartasses and jackasses….smh. Well I'm here to tell you this type of behavior isn't cool and it's definitely not cute. So stop with all this passive-aggressive behavior and just say how you really feel, damnit just say Hello it goes a lot further.

Great Epectations In Dating

I need my man to be tall, have a  rock hard body, white teeth, just all the way fine, smart, has a good ass job, making 6 figures, good credit, funny, can cook, and loves Jesus. 


Oh okay girl.... But meanwhile you haven't been to the gym since Girlfriends was on air, in fact you think doing the Michael Jackson dance experience once a week is all the exercise you need. You work at Bath and Body Works (which isn't to say that's a bad thing) the only thing you can burn is the bottom of the pot while making top ramen noodles and the only time you go to church is on Easter Sunday. Madame please have a seat Indian style in a corner with a snack.

How do people have a laundry list of things they want in a mate but they don't have 1/2 of those things for themselves??? What's really going on??? I understand everyone wants that ideal mate that's attractive, smart, funny blah, blah, blah. That's fine everyone wants that but they problem is everyone wants that but are you that yourself? You want someone that's in shape, okay that's cool but your ass can't even run to the mailbox. You want someone that has a banging ass personality but meanwhile you have the personality of a broomstick. I could go on but you get the point. There's a few pieces missing from this puzzle and most of those pieces your ass lost them in the first place. Question: How do you look like demanding steak, when you only have ground chuck money??? 

How can one except all of these things from their partner but aren't these things themselves? If you do run across a person with all the qualities you want, what in hell makes you think they would want to be with you?  Don't you think they would want to be with someone that has their shit together or at least 1/2 together? Why do you deserve to be dating your ideal someone, if all you're bringing to the table is MAC Lip Glass, Now n Laters, and a lukewarm personality. To be clear when I say be with I'm not talking about sleep with. Hell people will sleep with anyone their nether region likes...sleeping with someone  and being/ dating with someone are really two different things most of the time. Just because someone is blowing your back out does mean they're going to take your ass to the company picnic. When I hear people talking about what their man or woman needs to have for them to date them..... I'm so baffled my their statements. When I look at them they're not any of the things they want their mates to be. Winners want to be with winners point blank period. So if you aren't what Charlie Sheen would say "winning" than what the hell are you? Losing right? Most of these people with their high maintenance demands are just losing in life and they don't even know it. 

The thing is a lot of people that demand these upper echelon qualities don 't even know they're lacking these qualities themselves. They are steady shopping at Rainbow and Dots thinking that they're at Barney's and Bergdorf and Goodman. They have a serious problem with delusions of gander. They're the baddest bitches and the prettiest niggas and you can't tell them nothing. Why?? Because they have 2,646 followers on twitter but their avi's are titties and ass shot. Okay.... Boo. All this is to say if you want Idris Elba or Halle Berry well than sir or madame you've gotta be a little better than T-pain and Whoopi Goldberg (no shade... Well that was shade, welp oh well).

From Boys To Men

Are you dating boys or are you dating men?

This question right here makes all the difference in the world, and some people don’t know the difference between the two. I don’t really want to get into the difference between a boy and a man but I will say age really doesn’t have much to with the difference. I could find a 37 year old man that still acts like a 17 year boy, and then you may find a 17 year old boy that has more sense than a 37 year old man. The thing is that boys are running around rampage claiming to be men but are very rarely are. Men these days aren’t over-flowing like in the land of milk and honey.

See the thing with men is that they kind of scare me. Why? Well maybe because I’ve always dealt with and dated boys. Boys I know, boys I know how to handle, boys I’m use too. Men on the other hand not soooo much, I don’t really know them, or how to handle them, men I’m not use too. What scares most people is the unknown and men well they are somewhat unknown to me. I of course I know how men operate for the most part I do have a Dad and a Step-Dad but my interactions with them is different from interactions with men in the romantic sense. Men seem to usually have their shit together. They have houses/condos not apartments or living in their mama’s basement. They have careers not jobs, they have 401Ks they’re not stuffing money under their mattresses. They go of vacation not weekend trips to Miami. In general they do grown men shit and well that’s a little overwhelming to me. I think it’s overwhelming because I don’t have or do all of those things. I’m working on them but I don’t have all them. Even though I know I don’t need to have my shit completely together to date someone that does, I just like to be on the same playing field with people. I don’t wanna be dating a guy that is on level 10 while I’m chillin’ on level 6….. That ain’t cute (well at least not to me). Then again maybe dating someone that has their shit together will help me get my shit together because dating boys just won’t do anymore. In the words of Danny Glover "I’m too old for that shit".

I Am Not My Hair

So good people I shaved my head over this past weekend, well a better way to put it is that I had to shave my head.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen you read that first sentence correctly...... I shaved my head. I currently look like a black Sinead O'connor. So why did I shave my head? Well long story short I got a really bad perm from my hairstylist and my hair began to fall out at a horrifying rate. Like honestly is was at the point to where I would touch my hair and like 10-15 strands of hair would fall out. I mean is was real bad, Michael Jackson Bad.  When it was breaking off it was breaking to the roots of my hair. So after looking at my hair and I had all these bald spots in my head. I decided to carry myself to Target and buy some clippers and shave my head.

I just needed to start over and the hair that was left on my head was already severely damaged, therefore I didn't see the need to keeping it. By shaving my head the hair that would now be growing would be healthy and not damaged. So I took the clippers and began to shave away. It wasn't as hard as I thought it might have been, I just kept telling myself that its hair and it will grow back. Although I never contacted my hairstylist about the bad perm, some people said I should've told her. Maybe I should've said something but I didn't see much of a point the damaged was already done, all she would have told me to fix the problem was what did.... shave my head to the point to the breakage. Also no I'm not mad, pissed off, nor do I want to slash her tires for the damaged she did to my hair. It just the risk you take when you chemically relax your hair, there's always a chance of breakage. Actually I'm kind of glad this happened, just for the simple fact that I'm now going to grow my hair naturally (without any chemicals in my hair). It was never in my plans to be natural, I just never had the desire to be natural. Even though I know its better for my hair, well now here's my chance to grow my hair naturally the way God intended me to be.  I still plan on wearing wigs or weaves when my hair gets long enough but obviously my hair is trying to tell me something, its was saying "bitch we don't want and we don't do perms anymore". So I guess I better listen.