I've Got A City Love

Some of you may or may not know that within the last year I moved from Atlanta,GA to Chicago, IL. Well in my journey to the Mid-west I did at one point in time actually live in the City of Chicago.... then things fell apart (it's a long and shitty story) and I had to moved outside of the city limits to the suburbs. Next week marks a year of  living in this suburban town and I fucking hate it!!! Oh suburban life isn't for me at all. Some of you are now questioning well if you hate why don't you just move back to the city? Well the city is expensive and while I do have a job (which is 10 minutes from where I live). I've learned from the school of Hard Knocks, that living above your means is not the business and if I moved the city right now I'll be eating tuna out of a can every night for dinner. So in a way I'm trapped and not in a damn closet. I'm not sure if y'all have ever seen the show Suburgatory, its a cute little show. I honestly don't even know how or when I started to watch it but man can I relate to this girl's pain. The show is basically about a high school girl named Tessa, she and her father move to the suburbs from Manhattan and she fucking hates her life there. Well me and Tessa are one in the same. There are so many reasons why I'm not about this suburb life but I'll only touch on a few.

1) The distance- When I tell you I live far away from Chicago, I live far away. There's the boonies and then there's a place further than the boonies, called the back woods and that's where I live the back woods of Illinois. It's the worst.... when people ask me where I live and I tell them. Nobody knows where the hell I stay at. That's how you know you live out there, folks have never heard for your town. People at times name neighboring towns and I say well I live like 20 or 30 minutes pass there. I swear people look at me like I live in the middle of the wilderness. That drive from where I live to the city is no joke, and don't even get me started if there's traffic. Which there always is... tag on another hour to my time and as we all know gas prices are sky high.

2) Wildlife- When living in the backwoods you are bound to run into creatures of the forest. These creatures I'm referring to are deer. Listen if anybody who knows me in real life knows if there's one animal I'm scared shitless of its a deer. Why? Well for one they're wild animals and you never know what they're capable of. They also like to stand on the side of the road waiting to jump, like they're waiting to jump in like in double-dutch and if you've ever hit a deer with your car (which I have been in the car when someone else did) they well straight up tear your car up. Recently I went running in a park behind my sub-division at 6:30am and as I was jogging along there it was the biggest damn deer I've ever seen in my life in the bushes; literally 1.45 feet away from me. I saw it and it definitely saw me and what did I do? I turned around and ran like the damn wind, I hadn't ran so hard since field day and I was running the 100m sprint in 6th grade. So yeah I ran away from a deer, I know if the deer really wanted to out run me it could have but that was my first reaction, to run as fast as I could. Listen that wasn't Bambi I ran into in that park, it was wild dangerous animal. For a week I didn't have air in my house because a rabbit, chipmunk, or some kind of damn rodent ate through one of the wires outside for the ac unit... yeah these are suburban problems.

3) Nothing to do and nothing to see- Other than my family and my one coworker I like I know not a single soul out here in No Man's Land. There are only two kind of people here 1) families and 2) retirees and that's all folks. There are really no people my age here, just people going to PTA meetings and the other half going to AARP meetings (if they have them). Everything closes at like 10pm, even on the weekends. Shit half the time I'm still getting ready to go out at 10pm, I'm a night owl and now I'm being forced to be a day one and it fucking sucks.

Living in the suburbs has made be really realize that I'm a city girl. I like the noise, in fact I crave it.... I can't stand when things are too quite. It makes me feel like I'm in the beginning of a horror movie or something. To me if things are too quite, that eerie quite some shit is about to go down. I need the police sirens, trains going by, people on the street talking, loud music. Hell I even miss the city smells... you know that sweet smell of the sewer, piss, and come kind of street meat mixed together. I miss all the things the city has to offer that the suburbs don't. I'm not the three bedroom house, with a garage, and white picked  fence girl. I know the city has its downside the crime, how everything is more expensive, blah, blah... but for me that's part of city life. I'm in love with the city (not just the City of Chicago) and according my mom it's been a love affair on going since I was 3. She told me story  once about before my family move to Atlanta and was still living in Chicago, we were on our way downtown one night and she said my little eyes lit up, they were dazzled by the city lights. She said she knew right then she had to get my ass down south but that's neither here nor there. But point is that this love affair is still in a continuum and I don't see that changing anytime soon.  

I Am Not My Hair: Part 2

So it's been a month (well a little over a month) since I shaved my head. It's grown out a little bit but more importantly my edges have grown too. I was really concerned about the follicles around my edges being permanently damaged by the dreadful relaxer I got; praise the Lord (or whom ever you may pray to) that is not the case I really thought my edges were gone like Phaedra from the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Yeah get into that shit....... no edges at all!!! SMH.

 

Anyway, I had a slight problem with dryness and I might still have this problem. I saw that my hair was shedding a little, so after talking to a couple of friends and looking on youtube. I realized 1) needed to stop washing my hair everyday. Shampoo especially the ones with sulfates have a tendency to dry out your hair. So now I co-wash it with conditioner and wash it with shampoo once a week now. The second thing I learned was to moisturize my hair a lot and that all the products I used while my hair was relaxed are useless; I gave them all away. I now I have some new products that I'm using, I'll probably do a review about them but I've only been using them for about a week, therefore I can't give them a full review yet. So yeah I learned and I'm still learning that moisture is the key. So here's a pic of my progress, if anyone has any tips plese do share.

The Year Of The Male Queen

So the other day Time Magazine revealed its person of the year, which was “the protester”. Well with all the protests and demonstrations this year, from the rebellion and uprising in Libya and Egypt to the Occupy Wall Street protest in this country. I would say protesting had a very big year this year. But in my humble opinion Time magazine didn’t somewhat get it right, I personally believe “the Male Queen”, or more specifically the  Queening out of the male queens  had a big year, if not bigger than the protester. What exactly do I mean by Queening out? Well its basically when a person, a grown ass person throws a b!tch fit in a public manner. I’m going to give you my top four male queens and their queening out episodes this year.

1)      Chris Brown (March 2011): This past March Chris Brown released he’s latest album F.A.M.E.; while promoting this album he stopped by the Good Morning America(GMA) studios and proceeded to QUEEN THE F*CK OUT. While doing an interview with Robin Roberts, she starts to ask him questions about the infamous incident between him and Robyn Rihanna Fenty in February of 2009. Chris Brown tries to dodge the question multiple times and bring the focus back to his music, but Robin Roberts wasn’t having that sh!t and continued to push the subject, which leads to Chris Brown turning into the Incredible Hulk backstage. He goes backstage and basically in the words of Three Six Mafia, “Tear Da Club Up” or the dressing room. This little boy pulled a Jazmine Sullivan and was busting windows and punching holes in walls. Chile… look I know Chris Brown is tired of answering questions about him and Rhianna. He’s over and so is she but the media are a shit starter, that’s their job. To get provoking interviews, to take things out of context, and to ask questions you don’t want to answer. Chris Brown knows this, so why get all puffed up in the chest about it?? Yes it because he’s young or because he has anger management issues… IDK. Although in his defensive his people asked GMA not to ask any questions about him and Rhianna, but still he should’ve handle the situation better. I blame his handlers for this, if Chris Brown was my client. The media would have never known he queened out back stage, the situation would have stayed in that room and that room only. He needs better handlers and a hug from Heaven.

2)       Lil Wayne (August 2011): After his release from Riker’s Island earlier this year, Lil’ Wayne was set to take the music world by storm yet again. Apparently it was going to be Wayne’s world and Young Money’s time. Everything seemed to be going as planned and the Tha Carter 4 was going to be released. Although the released date got pushed back a couple of times that should’ve been a sign of things to come right there. Well in August of this year another album got released; Watch the Throne (WTT) (in my opinion the best Hip-Hop album of the year). Welp… WTT had rap n@ggas out here wanting to commit suicide, it really had some rappers shook and I guess Lil’ Wayne was one of them. With Tha Carter 4 leaked two weeks before its release date and some of the reviews weren’t pretty like at all. I listen to Tha Carter 4 and with the exception of like three songs I ain’t listened to it since. Really who’s still listening to Tha Carter 4 right now, real talk??? Yeah, not to many people but guess what? I’m still listening to WTT. Damn near every day.  Yet somehow Lil’ Wayne still did a million in one week, yeah I need to see those receipts because something ain’t adding up. Anyhoo.. ..there’s also an apparent beef between Jay-z and Lil’ Wayne. Jay-z said something about people having “baby money and not even having he’s lady money”, in a line on the track H.A.M. Lil’ Wayne fired shots back by saying “   I got your baby money/Kidnap your bi--h, get that how much you love your lady money”. Chile… if he’s talking about kidnapping Beyonce good f*cking luck with that because n@gga you’ll need an army and a navy to pull that stunt off. Anyway at this year’s VMA’s Lil’ Wayne was to close the show and be the man of the hour. Welp, before that hour could come this happen and everybody lost their damn minds, BEYONCE WAS PREGNANT!!!!!! Yet again Jay-z stole the show, without it really being his show. Well Lil’ Wayne decided that nobody was going to steal he’s thunder and he QUEENED THE F*CK OUT. This man put on his best leopard jeggings from American Apparel and went on stage and lost his mind for like 4 minutes and 39 seconds. I watched his performance was utterly confused by his pants, his actions, and I had no idea what he was doing. It was like watching someone being on the edge of glory, hanging on a moment of truth or something. My conclusion was he queened out because he had no other way of dealing with the fact that; Jay-z stole his thunder again and he didn’t know what to do about that. So he chose to re-gain his thunder by lighting us with his electrifying leopard pants. Its Young Mula Baby!!!!  

3)      Ray J. (September 2011):  Yes mutha F*cking Ray J aka Brandy’s brother. Sips tea and continues to write. So apparently after the Floyd Mayweather fight this past September Ray J got into his own little fight with Fabolous. What was the fight about? Well during a taping of Floyd’s HBO show 24/ 7, there’s an episode in which Ray J is in it. During this episode Ray J is seen playing the piano in Floyd’s living room and sing one of his two hit songs “One Wish”. Fabolous and Kevin Hart found this to be hilarious (which it was) and decided to roast Ray J’s ass on twitter. Ray J didn’t take to kindly to this and didn’t find the comedy in the situation, so when he saw Fab he confronted him about it. Apparently a physical altercation may have or may not have taken place. According to Ray J he socked Fab in the face like Ice cube did Debo in Friday. Fab said Ray J is on drugs (which is believable at this point) and all that happened was that Ray J did say something to him about playing the piano at Floyd’s and when Ray J started to talk reckless. He jacked him up by he’s red hood (in the interview Fab did explaining what happened, he calls Ray J Little Red Riding Hood, LMAO!!) and told him to get out of he’s face. He then goes on stage to perform as he was scheduled to do. Well Ray J calls into a New York radio station to explain what happened and this is where he QUEENS THE F*CK OUT. I have linked this interviewRay J Radio Interview ; I also linked a letter that was floating around twitter that Ray J would write Brandy if he was to go to jail Fake Ray J Letter.  Your welcome for the laughs you will receive listening to it and reading this letter. This n@gga has lost his mind; I really think he was coming off a high or something when he did this interview. There are so many various comical moments. He talks about his 5- 16.8 Bentley's and Maybachs he has. First, how many does he have he said like 5 different numbers. On the last season of that show with his sister Brandy, his financial advisor had he’s ass on a strict budget, but now you got 6.78 Maybachs outside….. oh okay.  Then he goes on to talk about how he was the hardest n@gga since Rocky. Talking about Fab said don’t touch him, so what did he do? He touched the n@gga because he goes hard in the mutha f*cking paint.  Look the inside of my Ugg boots are harder than Ray J.  He goes on and on about the Moneyteam, who the hell these people are I have no damn idea and I bet neither does Ray J. All these damn lies!!! But one of the funniest things said to me was the part about how only DJ Clue could solve it. Is DJ Clue the Great and Powerful OZ? Why can only DJ Clue solve it? There are soooo many questions and very few answers to this queening out episode. I would like to thank Ray J though because I now know who kidnapped Miles from Moesha, it was Ray J and  the Moneyteam.

4)      Diddy (October 2011): Now I already know that Diddy is the ultimate queen but this latest act of queendom has taken him to an all new height. At an after party for the BET Hip-Hop awards in Atlanta, GA. Diddy the original Ciroc Boy, lost his entire sh!t because people had the audacity to be drinking Gray Goose that they purchased with their own damn and not Ciroc. There's a video below for your viewing pleasure. This fool in his Skittles colored race car jacket, when all the way off on people for drinking Gray Goose….SMH is all I can say. He was ready to fight like Pastor Troy circa 2001 because people weren’t drinking Ciroc. He QUEENED THE F*CK OUT!! Well luckily for him and all the Gray Goose drinkers DJ Clue was there to solve it, in the form of T.I. Who basically told him to chill the hell out or he was gonna leave because he wasn’t with that f*cksh!t and he wasn’t going back to jail for anybody or for any reason. I love T.I. but I’m going to need Diddy to take that last seat on that last train to Paris or Mars for that matter because I’m tired of him and his shenanigans. He’s too old and paid for this type of behavior…. Damn idiot.

So there you have it ladies and gentlemen the top male queens of the year. No disrespect to the protesters but I really think this was the year of the male queens and their queening out episodes, what do you think?

The Most Annoying Question Ever

"So why are you single?" Ladies and gentlemen what we have here is the most irritating question that anyone can ask me. Why is that the case? Well because when somebody asks you this question its a trap. What they really want to know is, what the hell is wrong with you that nobody wants you? How do you even answer a question like that?

I could tell you I haven't met the right person or maybe I did meet the right person but I wasn't ready to meet him or him me. That the timing wasn't right, I sabotage things for whatever reason, or my dating skills are about as great as Fantasia's reading skills(before her GED). It could be because I live in Atlanta (to those who live here you may know what I mean) the truth lies somewhere in between these things. My usual answer to this question is because I'm not married or because I'm flying above being some man's wife just to say I'm his wife. But my personal favorite answer is "why are you asking ?" This response throws the person off because what they really want you to do is give a synopsis of your dating history so they can judge it and you simultaneously. If that's what you want to do than I suggest you watch an episode of Law and Order, there's a crime committed, a trial takes place and a judgement is handed out all within a hour  and you can judge for yourself if the crime fits the punishment.

See a lot of the time people rush into relationships/marriages because they're tired of being single. They want to bring someone to cousin Mary's wedding because they want to void questions such as the one previously stated or being placed at the singles table. Now that's just a shame, a lot of the time people get married because they've been together forever and marriage is the next logical step. You know I've been told I sometimes live my life like a Disney fairytale and I'm also told that this is unrealistic because we all know life is not like a fairytale. Well I'm just fine with that because if I do get married I want it to be like a fairy tale and believe we'll live happily ever after, because he wanted to marry me and didn't just marry me because he figured I served enough time as his girlfriend. I'm sorry I'll prefer to have my head in the clouds, rather that than the reality of most which is that they're doing a 20- 30 bid and hoping they get paroled any day now.

"Guys You Shouldn't Date: The Poser"

I'm going to start a little series on here called, "Guys You Shouldn't Date", first up is the poser. I don't know about everyone else but I've come across this guy a few times in my lifetime, especially living in Atlanta. For those who don't live here this place is a breeding ground for the poser in this land of make believe and fairytales. Everyone is a star here trying to outshine the next star, everybody is some damn body, its really black Hollywood out here. Here you can be a model and your only gig is a 2.5 second shot in Waka Flocka's latest video or a rapper with about as many songs as Ja rule has currently on the radio, its crazy out here.

See the poser is the guy claims to know everything and everybody. He's a business man but is very elusive about what he does exactly. If you ask, he'll tell you some ish like, I'm in the import/export, business, I'm a consultant, or the classic line I do promotions. The poser is always doing something or as they're like to say "making moves." They either just getting on or off a plane, as if they're Barack Obama or somebody. But then they call/text you at 2:30pm on a Tuesday asking you what are you doing? N@gga I'm at work, what the hell are you doing, shouldn't you be making moves?

Another thing about the poser is that the times you are available like at 8:00pm they're at a business meeting of some sorts or at the the office, dude be staying at the office more than Steve Carell, GTFOH. He knows everybody, you'll say something like "Oh I like Young Jeezy's new song", his reply " Yeah me and my business partner had dinner with him the other night at Spondivits", *side eye*. Really? When I hear mess like this I translate it as you possibly got to hang out with Jeezy because your boy is his weed carrier. All I said was I like his song, who asked for all that extra info? They always like to volunteer information nobody asked for. But the real way to figure out a poser is just listen to him, because his lies never add up. I suppose he thinks your dumb or either crazy.

Now see Atlanta is a different kind of place a lot of dudes think most girls are on that groupie ish, and a lot girls are, so to a fault I can't be mad at the poser. Due to the fact that some girls fall for that hat trick and really think the poser has big thangs poppin ,' I can't blame him for his actions. So I'm going to speak for me and girls like me, you can miss me with that ish because I see through all that hocus pocus mess. And yeah I may entertain your a$$ sometimes but I'm not really going with f*ck like that because your full of sh%t. I don't want to hear about your $500 Brooks Brothers shoes or how you were poppin' bottles of Ace of Spades with Trey Songz at the club. That doesn't impress me. You having a 401k  and contributing to it regularly, NOW that's impressive! Ladies you've been warned, the poser is a waste of time and space. Check his a$$ and tell him he's going have to come a little better than that.

When Something has Gotta Give

Sometimes you have to give up life as you know it to get a new one. That sometimes you need to let go of everything you're clinging to and start over, whether because you've outgrown it or because it's not working anymore or because it was wrong for you in the first place ~ Kelly Cutrone

I read this in Kelly Cutrone's book; If you have to cry, go outside: And other things your mother never told you, its a really good read.  When I read this about 6 months ago, I wrote down this quote because it rang so true with me.  I knew it was time for me to make moves out of this great city called Atlanta and take up residence somewhere else. For the past year or so something just has been clicking with me and this city. I have this love/hate relationship with Atlanta. You know its the place where I grew up, I pretty much know this city like the back of my hand. I know where  go and not to go after dark, my friends and family are here, this is home.

Well sometimes home isn't always where you need to be and that's okay. When I read this quote I realized that I have done all that I do and accomplished everything I could  while living here. I just outgrown the place I've called home for over 20 years. Its time for me to move on and see if I can flourish in another city. I can't worry about the fact that I may not know anybody when I move away or that me moving might absolutely be an epic fail. That's just the risk I'm gonna have to take, I feel like I'm in a bad marriage sometimes living here. I'm in this marriage and I'm staying in because I'm holding on to all the happy times we've had together, but as of late things have just been bad between us. So I've made the unbelievable difficult choice, that its better for us to part ways. While we still have love in our hearts and think fondly of each other.  But I've gotta go, so I'll be sending you divorce papers in August but with love.