Tuesday, June 25, 2013

The One That Got Away

This past weekend a strange thing happened… a blast from the past came back with a vengeance. A guy I use to dated called me and maybe I shouldn’t have answered the phone but being that I deleted him from my life and my contact list I had no idea it was him. What he asked me after the awkward exchanging of pleasantries… was what I had been dreading for him to ask from the moment I said hello. After I decided I know longer wanted to date him, I just ended all communication between us. Why I decided I didn’t want to date him anymore and I just vanished like Danny Green did in the last two games of the NBA finals? This was the question he wanted an answer to.  I knew the real answer it was very simple, it became perfectly clear to me that he wasn’t the person I needed him to be for me, and rather than sit around waiting for him to make the decision to be that person, I made to choice and to quote Fantansia…. Yeah I know but I “freed myself”. But how do you tell a person “hey I saw what you had to offer and although there were flashes of greatness overall you really ain’t shit, so I kept it moving”. The convo was definitely killing my vibe on a Friday night, so I copped out. I gave him some bs about me having a lot of things going on at the time and some things fell through the cracks and he was one of those things. It was a lie….. but it was just so much easier to tell him that than the truth. The truth was overall he’s a good person but he wasn’t the right person for me. I hate this phase but there’s no other way to say it….. he wasn’t “the one”, hell he wasn’t even two or three.
Sometimes honesty is the hardest thing to do and being honest with yourself, well it the hardest job of all. So in the spirit of being honest he may not have been "the one"  for me, I wasn’t "the one” for him either and that is sometimes a hard pill to swallow. To be honest enough with yourself to realize that the person you’re dating and really like doesn’t view you as the game changer/ the one. This particular guy he may not even know that I’m not his “one”, well he doesn’t know.  Due to the fact he told me he knows I’m the one that got away. That statement pretty much proves my point I’m not “the one”, if I was “the one” I would have never gotten away in the first place. If I was  "the one"  he wouldn’t have got more sentimental than Deborah Cox and decided to call me on a Friday night and try to attempt putting me back in the emotional rollercoaster that was our relationship, by saying all the right things 6 months too late. All those things would’ve been said and  been manifested in his actions and maybe who knows we would still be together, instead of him calling on a random night saying all the things that needed to have been said months ago. Just fighting a battle he already lost.
It’s funny because he was saying all of things I wanted him to say so badly months ago, but hearing them now they the words felt uninspired and uninvited, although I do believe he was sincere. His sincerity was just expressed a little too late, his Expiration Date had passed.  I’ll never know what prompted his recent actions because I’m not asking, I honestly don’t care maybe he needed closure and just wanted to get it off his chest. Then again me knowing him he was hoping that whatever spark we had was still aflame and he was ready to throw all the lighter fluid in ten Super Wal-Marts on it. However, him knowing me he should’ve known that whatever spark we had was gone like a candle in the wind.  After that phone call I sat in my car for a little bit and thought about what was said in our conversation…. I wasn’t angry, sad, or annoyed but I did feel drained emotional… all that from a 15 minute phone call. I just kept coming back to him saying “I don’t want you to be the one that got away” and all I could do was wish I would’ve told him I was never the one because I would have never gotten away if I was.    

6 comments:

  1. That's tough. It's never easy to tell someone a truth like that. It's just like, "I dunno, I just don't like you anymore." It's hard to quantify and therefore explain, and not hurt the person's feelings. I've found though, that being brutally honest (but still respectful) makes both people feel better (ultimately). They appreciate the respect you showed them by being honest, and you feel better for telling the truth. It still sucks though, and I have done lots of things to avoid these conversations. Haha.

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    1. @Lilly It's never the easy road to tell people the truth most of the time. I knew that if I told him the truth so help me God, there wasn't going to be a tact or class about it... so I took the easy road. I did a lot of things to avoid the conversation but at last it still caught up with me.

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  2. Honesty is always the way to go, in my opinion. I think people think lies are easier to tell... but what good does that do for you? If you realized that the relationship wasn't fruitful and you didn't see it developing into anything substantial, you can say that. These experiences help us grow as individuals, and I've never grown from lies lol... the truth helps. I do think it's key to remember that the truth doesn't have to be conveyed in a rude, tactless way. There's a way to be honest without having a total disregard for the person on the receiving end's feelings. Everyone isn't part of God's plan for your future... and it's okay.

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    1. @Ishea I definitely agree with you and if he was any other person the absolute truth would have been spoken on that night. However after dating him I realized that some people just can't handle truth no matter how tactful and diplomatic you are... and he's one of those kind of people. I would have gladly given him the truth but that wasn't his motive, what he wanted was one more chance but he disguised with the truth... and that I'm not willing to give him.

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  3. I never think of The One That Got Away as 'The One' - it's more that they're that person that every so often you think about and wonder what it would have been like if it had worked out. A tiny part of him will probably still be wondering a year from now!

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    1. @Quinn Yeah the One That Got Away isn't The One... they may have had the potential to be The One but potential doesn't always equal success. I think that last part is what keeps the wondering alive.

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