Vacation Takeaways

I'm back from my first real vacation in like two years, that's not to say that I haven't been anywhere other than Chicago for the past two years because I have. But I don't real look at visiting friends and family a real vacation, that's just going to visit someone. Anyway I had a great time and enjoyed my time away from cold ass Chicago. While I was gone I learned a few things about myself and just life in general and would like to share things with you.

1) Cruises- Until last week I had never been on a cruise, why? I don't like boats/ships or big open spaces of water. It just freaks me out..... so when we set sail and all I could see was water and no land around me, a strange feeling came over me. Its not that I don't know how to swim, I do but being a sea and there's no land in sight is just weird. Also as I found out motion sickness is real in the battle field. Although I did take some medicine Dramamine I still got sick one night. I would suggest taking it even if you think motion sickness won't be a problem for you. I have never felt that way before in my life.... I wish to never feel it again either. It was almost as bad as when I got food poisoning from the food court at the mall in college. The motion in the ocean was on ten that particular night. Oh yeah being hungover on a cruise is ten times worst than on dry land.

2) Packing- As Erykah Badu once said "Pack light". I have the tendency to over pack, I am exactly the person was talking about, I'm a bag lady. So for my week vacation, I had four bags. A big suitcase, a mid-size one, a carry on bag, and my purse which probably doubles as a overnight satchel. I had to get porters and all types of assistance carrying all those bags around. I have a serious problem but I believe I genuinely needed everything I packed because you never know what you may need. My motto is a rather be over than under because its always easier take something away to make it less than it is to add on and make something more. For example if you're over-dressed for an event. You can take of articles of clothing or accessories off to make your outfit less fancy but if you're under dressed, well you're just assed out. You don't have the tools to make your outfit more extravagant. However I do know now that I don't always have to take everything that's in my closet either.

3) Your crew- It's not always about where you go its about who you go with. Yes, I had an amazing time on my trip to the Bahamas. The place was beautiful but what make my time so great was I was with my awesome friend. We the best time on vacation and at the places we visited but more importantly we had an amazing time with each other. There were no Basketball wives fights or Real Housewives cuss outs. It was just fun hang out with my friends and that's what really matters the most.

Shade And A Vacay

Well good people as you may be able to tell from the title of this post, I'm going on vacation this week. Thank God!!!!! This has been a long time coming, I need this like Ciara and Omarion need a hit on the radio. Between work, life, trying to getting my life, and figuring out how I'm going get out of suburbs for good, this vacation a long time coming. Plus it's getting cold in Chicago, Fall has left the building and Winter is upon us. Quite frankly I ain't ready for it. I'm not ready to remember to warm my car up 5 minutes before I leave in the morning. I'm not ready for it to be 12:01am darkness at 5:01pm. I'm not ready to be wearing all these damn layers of clothes, trying to winterize my skin because walking around looking like a dry up piece of turkey 2 weeks after Thanksgiving is just immoral, and last but not least I'm not ready for the SNOW. That shit is cute and pretty until the next morning you're outside shoveling that shit like a grave digger.

So I'm going on a cruise with my friend for the week of Thanksgiving, at first I didn't want to go because it's a family holiday and whatnot. But then that thought quickly vanished from my head, shit..... I ain't got no kids or husband and I'm not going home to Atlanta for Thanksgiving so what am I really going miss? Cooking, watching the Thanksgiving parade with my Grandma and her asking who and what everything/ everyone is? My uncle getting drunk before dinner (although that is pretty hilarious tho), my aunt's dry ass stuffing (yes, stuffing not dressing. There's a difference), the ever so quite shade my aunts throw at each other...... yeah I'm good. I can do all that next year, so therefore I'm going to get my life or someone else's for a week in the Caribbean. So be safe good people, I'm sure I'll have some ratchet stories to tell or they'll be too ratchet and I'll need to keep it in the closet like Mike. So Happy Turkey Day everyone!!!!!!!!

                                    Yes!!! Ma'am the amount given will be zero... just like her!!

Stunts And Shows At The Ballot Box

Well by now you know that Barack Obama is still The President of the United States.... if you didn't know that, I am assuming that you have just woken up from a coma a few seconds ago or you live in Montana or somewhere with out internet access. This post isn't about who was the better candidate for the job.... (but the person I voted for is still in office) , nor it is about the election itself. But I damn sure glad its over, that shit was stressing me out. This post is about what the hell happened to me when I exercised my right to vote. Long story short they tried to pull it at my voting site.

Some of you reading this may not know that I moved to the Chicago area (btw I hate that Chicagoland bs) a little over a year ago from Georgia. Well as you should have learnt in Civics class you must vote in the state in which you live or do an absentee ballot. You can only vote absentee for certain reasons, none of which I qualified for. So I was going to have to re-register to vote in Illinois. Okay cool, I went to some voter registration drive and register to vote in IL, after weeks of waiting for my voter registration card in the mail, I check that shit and I was still registered to vote in GA... womp. Sidenote: when you go to voter registration drives make sure you check that shit before the deadline because clearly sometimes the ball is dropped in the process. So upon finding that out, I looked up where I needed to go to register to vote at, which was at the local library. I go there and bring all the documents I need, since I still have my GA driver's license I had to prove that I actually live in IL now. Okay that's understandable, so I brought my social security card, and two bills with my name and IL address on them. Boom, the guy swore me in as a resident of IL and I had to repeat some pledge of allegiance/oath ( I have no idea with I repeated back to that man) with my right hand up. He gave me a green piece of paper that severed as my voter registration card until the real one came in the mail. I asked him "so when I go vote all I need is my voter registration card and my driver's license, even though its still a GA id"? He's response was "yes, that's all you need."Okay, boom I leave and go about my business.

Well last week when I decided to vote early because I was going out of town for my homecoming last weekend and I didn't want no shit on election day. I go to the polling place and I wait in line for 30 minutes, which was fine... people were complaining like hell about waiting. Shit in 08 I waited in line for 3 hours in Atlanta, I really wanted to telling to their impatient asses to shut the hell up. I mean they were still gonna get home in time to watch Dancing with the Stars or whatever else. So I get to the front of the line and give them my Id and voter registration card and that's when shit went all the way I-95 South. The guy looks at me and the things I gave him and was like, "you can't vote out-state ID how do we know, if you really live in IL or not." At that point I got heated... I'm thinking bitch you're really out here trying to pull stunts and shows for the kids, okay this is how its gonna go. I came back down to about a level 2 and explained to him that when I registered to vote, I was told  by the official there that all I needed was my ID out-state or in-state, just an id with my name and picture on it and my voter registration card. Well that little troll wasn't having it, and keep out talking about how do we know you live at this address. I'm thinking my dude, how the fuck else would I get a voter registration card if I didn't live there!!??! Like did this troll really think I voted in GA and flew to IL try to vote here too. So I ask him what else do I need to prove I live at this address since that's the problem. He says I need my car registration or a bill, I look at the clock its 4:30pm. The place closed at 4:30.... I told him "ok I have something in my car, are you going to let back in? Because its after 4:30". He says, "yes". I go out to my car and look for my car registration and I realize that the State of Illinois never sent it to me... womp. Luckily I found my credit card bill in my bag and went back inside. He checked my papers all the awhile side-eyeing me and asking me if this was my statement or something. I give him my best Southern Belle smile because its was about to get real zone 6 in there and there's nothing polite and sweet about that shit. I told him, "actually its my new credit card", as the damn card was still attached to the paper. Well after filling out shit on his end, he gives me my ballot and I vote. Well after I voted these son of a bitches didn't even give me a sticker, voting receipt, sucker, dental floss, left over Halloween candy, none but a have a day nice. Being that I was the last person to vote I'm not sure if they were giving it out period or if it was just me. Listen at that point I needed to just to get out of there before I was on the News for turning it up at the voting site.

Let me give you some background info. I live in a prominently Anglo-Saxon area, so when I walked into the polling precinct I was the only person in there with a piece of color to their skin. Now maybe the the guy was doing his job but I'm inclined to believe that if I looked more like Mary Camden from 7th Heaven than Moesha Mitchell well from Moesha; that shit wouldn't have happened. Idk.... I'm just saying. However I do know this there are times to keep your cool and that was definetly one of them, voting is beyond important, and I must move away from this place I live ASAP and in that order!!!

Homecoming

So this past weekend I went back to my alma mater for homecoming and had one of the best weekend of the year. It was full of randomness, foolishness, ratchetness, and drunkenness, all the things that make weekends like this eventful and one that won’t be forgotten.  I hung out with people I had seen in years and did things I haven’t done in years either. Well while this fun was being had, something occurred to me. Some people are just plain delusional like Jackie Christie delusional.  Maybe delusional isn’t the right word, they have an inflated sense of self.

I think that in any type of reunion situation, you’re going to always come across that person that thinks that they’re the shit no matter what and maybe they were 5-10 years ago but in present day they’re more like shit on a stick. Most of the time they are quite opposite of the person they use to be, as 50 cent once said “Damn homie, in high school, you was the man homie, what the fuck happened to you?” They’re the ones kinda acting stuck up, they’re sociable but not too sociable, and they’re an ass but not a complete asshole.  They are the ones walking around the party like its 2002 and they’re still captain of the football team and people need to recognize that, and speak to them first. Oh no honey its 2012 and you haven’t thrown a football since 2002 and by the looks of it you haven’t done a sit-up since then either. Despite what Mitt Romey wants you to think gas ain’t $1.86/gal and will never be that again, meaning times have clearly change but your ass is stuck in past. Trying to get into the DeLorean to go Back to the Future, sir/madame it was a movie and there’s no such thing. It’s like these fools live in a world where Nelly songs are on the top 100 Billboard charts, Girlfriends is still on the air, and Girbaud jeans reign supreme.  

Well this is most definitely not the case, so please stop acting like it is. Just because you were hot shit back in the day, that may not be the fact of the matter today.  Even if you’re the shit now….. Guess what?  Most people aren’t going to be impressed. Unless you’re doing real pimp shit, like hosting fundraisers at your house for President Barack Obama; other than that people don’t give a damn. Why??? Because this ain’t Bayside High or the college years, this is real life and nobody has time for those types of shenanigans. People give zero fucks about you poppin bottles in vip…. You do know that same bottle of Grey Goose that you paid $300+ for cost $40 and the liquor store, right? Nobody cares that you’re driving a Range Rover…. Is that shit paid for?? Then maybe you can impress somebody. People aren’t concerned about you rocking the latest shit and bangin top notch bitches/dudes. People are concern about 401Ks, mortgage interest rates, day care, going to the gym, and getting to Trader Joe’s before the lines get too long. Because that’s real shit and not that Mariah Carey Fantasy bullshit you’re worried about.  So if you’re going come to these class reunions, homecomings, or whatever else acting like you’re Zack Morris and you run Bayside High, please have an everlasting seat. Don’t come to these functions acting like you’re Grace Kelly sequel, because you’re probably going to get read from the table of contents to the index, I saw it happen this past weekend and it wasn’t pretty. It was however hilarious though. Don’t have people looking at you and thinking this……