Unsung In The Future

I love the TV show Unsung, that comes on TV One…. Its riveting television. For those that aren’t familiar with the show, if chronicles the rise and fall of various not quite there musical acts. What I mean by not quite there musical acts, are artist that you know their music they were once very popular but they never quite made it to the next level. That icon/legend status of that of the likes of Michael and Janet Jackson, Whitney Houston, Prince, Madonna, The Beatles etc…. Like they’re not going to have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and they’re more likely to be doing the honoring at the BET Awards than being the ones getting honored, no shade. Some of the people the show has covered are Freddie Jackson, Issac Hayes, Sheila E., Teena Maire, Johnny Gill, The Whispers, Alexander O’Neal, the list goes on. The thing is that most of the artist the show has featured their time of greatest has been in the 70’s-80’s, so I was thinking about how I can wait for 5-10 years from now when they’re covering people that were popular in the 90s and/or early 2000s. So I have complied a list of a few people the show should feature in the future.

1) Jodeci- Lord I loved this group… what am I talking about loved, I’m still in love with Jodeci. This group came on the scene in the early 90s and were dubbed the bad boys of R&B. While other groups were talking about making love to you, they wanted to freak you. While others were more like tea and crumpets, they were definitely more like grits and biscuits. The group comprised of two sets of brothers K-ci and Jojo the voices of the group and Devante and Mr. Dalvin. Devante wrote and produced a lot of their music and Mr. Dalvin…. I’m not sure what the hell his function was, other than I wanted him to father my children. Anyway they were amazing… until they self-destructed. Between the drugs and alcohol, K-Ci and Mary J. Blige’s abusive ass relationship the group was bound to break up. I’m really not sure what happened as to why they really broke up, but I’m sure it a had something to do with Devante not showing up to their last music video together, Get on up. I remember seeing this video and thinking…. Oh so we’re not going to address he fact the finest member in the group didn’t show up to the video shoot, oh okay. The group has attempted to get back to together once or twice, but K-ci and Jojo’s voices are shot to all hell and back, cocaine is a hell of a drug boys and girls. Mr. Dalvin looks horrid…. Like he was using dirty needles to shoot up in the 90s and caught a strong case of Hepatitis A, B, C, D and all the way to Z.  Devante seems to not care, my suspicion is that since he wrote a lot of their songs he doesn’t need the money that a reunion would bring, unlike the rest of them he’s good. So yeah they would be a perfect group to be featured, their story is full of all types of fuckery, hell they may need a 2 hour special with all the foolishness that went on and still continues to going on with them.  Maybe they could talk about Mr. Dalvin and T-Boz dating, yeah that happened.

2) Soul For Real- Candy Rain and that’s all I need to say. That song was huge, that song was played at every school dance in 1994-1995. They had a few more hits after that…. I can only remember Everything little thing you do. Well I’m not really sure what happened to them or why they stop making music. Last I heard was that basically all of them were in jail for writing bad checks all around I-285. So Unsung should feature them because nobody has anything idea why they only had two hits.

         

3) Xscape- Where do I begin? Well before Kandi was on the Real Housewives of Atlanta walking around with kegel balls in her cooch all day and making gospel songs at the same damn time, and Tiny was on T.I.’s Family Hustle looking like the wrong side of plastic surgery and butchering the English language. They were apart of fantastic singing group with a set of sisters and I can't remember their names right now but they could sing. They had three albums that still gets spins by me on a very regular basis. Like I'm pretty sure I listened to My Little Secret, yesterday. Their song Understanding was sang by girls all across this country at talent shows when it came out who thought they had any type of vocal ability, okay maybe that was just my school. What I loved about Xscape was that they didn’t look like any other singing groups out at the time. They weren’t classy and sexy like En Vogue or edgy and cool like TLC, or cute and sophisticated like SWV…. Nope they were regular as hell! I mean they looked like my friends older sisters that were in high school/college at the time but they could sing they’re asses off though. That was their gimmick regular ass girls that could sing circles around you.  So the group broke up in the late 90s and nobody really knew why until kinda recently. Kandi said on the RHOA or something that basically one of those Scott sisters thought she was trying to go solo because at the time she was fucking Jeremaine Dupri(their producer). Lord I have no idea why, because he looks tree bark to me, but hey to each is own. I think she said something like she just wanted to try it out because they were always around each other… ok girl. Well one of those sisters didn’t take delight in this and was spreading rumors about Kandi, so the group broke up. It doesn’t seem like the group will be doing a reunion anytime soon, as Kandi has said hell no to that. Plus she’s too busy trying to connect Beat headphones to dildos. Tiny probably can’t even sing for Jesus if T.I. doesn’t say she can and she’s busy buying Kool-Aid for daugther’s group to dye their hair with, so I guess there’s that.  Look at this video..... tell me they didn't look like any of the girls working at your local Burger King at the time.   

4) Ginuwine-  Before Chris Brown was pop, lock, and dropping it for the kids and Omarion was doing praise dancing, the cat daddy, hitting his Dougie, Roger Rabbiting, Bankhead bouncing and pretty much any dance that came out in the last 20 years. Lord he was giving us the best he had in 30 seconds flat at the BET Awards last year.

 There was Ginuwine giving us glimmers of Michael Jackson greatness, remember that breakdown So Anxious. I remember seeing that Pony video for the 1^st time and thinking, who is this man with baby hair that was laid better than Chilli’s from TLC, and why doesn't a person that looks like him go to my school??? Ginuwine was the shit!! His first three albums were awesome. He has come out with more music than that but to me its just not on the level of his first three albums. This probably has to do with the fact that Timbaland pretty much produced the first three albums and not the rest of them. I’m not sure what happened with their working relationship after those albums, my guess is Timbaland started to produce more for Pop acts and started chasing that European money. I pretty much stop paying attention to Ginuwine after he married that big fore headed Sole that I can only remember rapping in that JT Money video; they apparently have 15 kids or something close to that number between the two of them. He still makes pretty decent music, and him Tank, and Tyrese have decided to make their own 5.0 version of LSG to resurrect all of their dying careers. I guess with their powers combined, they’re the Captain Planet of  R& B groups…. I mean they all can sing and I can’t take that away from them. However, ever since Tyrese hopped his ass on Twitter and started bombarding us with misspelled Confucius quotes and whatnot, I’m not here for anything he does with his life. Unless he’s on a city bus singing about having a Coke and a smile, he can keep it. But the best of luck to them.

5) Total- Another female R&B group of the 90s….. some called them the Female version of Jodeci. I’m not sure why?? Maybe because they too liked singing in all leather outfits with shades on…. Idk. What I do know is that they were the shit, and Kissing you, is one of the best songs ever made. They only have two albums and nobody to this day knows why they stop making music. Like after Sittin’ Home came out, they vanished from the musically world. The rumor around my school was that Pam and Keshia broke up and the former lovers could longer work together. We all knew Pam was into boxes and not sticks… without her saying a word about her sexual orientation. I’m pretty sure that the rumor going around my lowkey ratchet high school wasn’t true…. But hey we had no other story to work with so we made up our own shit. My theory is that they were on the Deathrow of the East coast, Bad Boys Records and Puffy just ruins musically careers. He’ll put you on and you’ll get 1-2 hot albums but that’s about it. Don’t believe me ask Craig Mack, Ma$e, Loon, Danity Kane, Day 26, G-Dep, Shyne, Black Rob, Carl Thomas all about it. Hell all these people can be on Unsung themselves because all of their careers all went from glitter to dust, fucking around with Puffy. All I know is the lightskin girl  with the short is now married to Omar Epps and the girl with the long hair may be Vita the rapper.... or maybe Vita is her sister, idk but Unsung should get the bottom of it.

Some honorable mentions of others that can be featured on Unsung are Tevin Campbell, a highlight of this episode should be him on the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and him with that Maxine Shaw from Living Single box braid bob because that was kinda confusing for me as to why he thought that hairstyle was a good idea. 702, Next, Hi-Five, Chante Moore, Jade, CeCe Peniston, Dru Hill, Joe, Brownstone, Zhane, Changing Faces, Shai, Silk (actually Shai and Silk can have 30 minute segments... there doesn't seem to be enough to their stories for an hour show) and a host of others. If these things should come to pass Unsung needs to cut me a check. 

No Apologies

You know some people can never say they’re sorry… it doesn’t matter if the transgression they did was small or bigger than the state of Texas. It’s like they are physically incapable of say “I’m Sorry” or any form of those words. Hell some people won’t even admit that they were wrong about something let alone apologize about it, this behavior is truly baffling and disgusting. I know a few people like that in my life and I truly think that they need to be studied… like a psychological case study, someone needs to come in observe these people, write a research thesis about them, and get it published in a medical journal or something. My gosh some of these fool I know are ridiculous.

Or maybe they just need to go listen to this song whatever the case may be, an intervention is needed. I’m not sure how y’all deal with people like this but I found that the best way is just not to engage. I don’t argue with them like at all….. and if they try to argue with me I don’t argue back I just say “you got it”. Why?? Well after years of arguing, disagreeing, slap-boxing, and whatever else with them and getting nowhere with them. I realized that they’re NEVER going to open their minds or eyes and try to see things differently, so what’s really the point of trying. They’re so concerned with being right, they never realize when they are wrong. So after years of butting heads with said people I learnt the best way to deal with them is to pay them dust, I give them nothing to argue with me about.  This quote is so accurate when it comes to dealing with the No Apologies crew "Never argue with a fool, people might not be able to tell the difference." Bam!! I’m not arguing with you because there’s no point, with the No Apologies crew they are always right, even when proven wrong like with scientific data… an apology is never going to happen. They stand strong in their convictions, they stick by that wrongness with all the colors of the wind. I personally don’t have time for that fuckery…. So I let them be.

Arguing is already exhausting in the first place but auguring with a person from the No Apologies Crew will put your ass in a coma. I’ve tried it and have never succeeded. The closest I ever got was a change of subject. What is this phenomenon? Well it’s when you’re arguing with a person and you’ve made your point correctly, you’re basically winning the argument and the No Apologies member knows this and instead of succeeding or apologizing they don't because they’re just can never admit when they’re wrong. They instead starting talking/arguing about other shit unrelated to the initial argument. They try to flip the script….. They’ll start talking about past things you’ve done wrong. Shit that happened weeks, months, and even years ago that’s unrelated to the topic at hand. Example:

Me: “But you said you were going to take the trash out and here it sits still in the can and now the garbage truck is gone.”

Member of the No Apologies crew: “Ummmm, okay but you over cooked the salmon last week, so what?”

Me: “Excuse me asshole we ain’t talking about over or under cooked salmon, we’re talking about this trash still sitting in the can.”

Member of NAC: “Well in never rains in Southern California.”

Me: “I ain’t got time for this.”

This is the blueprint of an argument with someone in the NAC, no acceptance of responsibility, no signs of contriteness, and definitely no apology.  Just stubbornness, denial, misplacement of blame, and general bitchassness. Can these type of people change? Well I would like to think so but I’m not betting on it. So if you’re dealing with this type of person by choice or by force just know there really isn’t any changing them and arguing with them is fruitless. Just pay them dust and give them about as much energy as a new Tierra Marie single would generate which is no energy at all.   

Hi Hater

"I'm just going to make these haters my motivators".
"These haters won't hold me back".

We've all heard some type of shit like this, people talking about the hate they receive on a daily basis. Someone is just always hating on them. My questions is who are these haters you speak of??? Because I don't see them. To quote The Temptations movie , "ain't nobody coming to see you Otis". When I say people I'm talking about grown ass folks 25+, how are you 33 and have people hating on you? What is your life about that you think people are plotting against like you're Malcolm X and the US Government and the Nation of Islam are against you? I can understand someone in high school talking about haters and whatnot, because well its high school and high school can be a real life version on Mean Girls for some. High school is where haters breeds for the most part. So if a person has haters in high school...that's believable. College??? that's a stretch but I guess its possible because college is just a big ass high school. So if you have haters in college okay maybe you do if you say so.

As far as the 25+ crowd... we don't believe you, you need more people. If you're in the entrainment or some high intensity industry (think Marty Khan House of Lies) shit is different and you may probably do have haters, so never mind what I'm saying. But others all this talk about people hating on you, girl and boy I need receipts. You're a loan application manager at Chase, who is hating on you at this level of hate?  I'm having a hard time understanding this concept of your grown ass having other grown ass people hating on you and blocking your shine. With all the things most rational adults have to do on a daily basis, such taking care of kids, bills, going to work, cooking dinner, going shopping, going to school, watching Scandal, drinking wine, and trying to stay above water..... who really has time to hate on you? Now I'm not talking about people giving you side-eyes and making little shady ass remarks about you. No, I'm talking about the people who think that or claim that folks are out here plotting your downfall like a character off of Dallas or something. The people that claim that others just constantly won't let them be great.

I would just like to know, who these hating ass people and how they have time for all this hate they have?  Who are these people that are plotting to take you out like you're JFK or somebody because hating on someone takes time and energy.  Personally I have no time to sit around on hate on someone. Especially to the point where some of these folks are claiming that others are Jolly Green Giant green with envy of them and that all they do is just hate. There's too much to do and so much more going on for me and I believe most grown folks, to hate on that level. Like the amount of shit going on with the average person or me... work, paying bills, facebook, remember to buy milk, mopping the floors, having sex or not having sex. I just won't even have the time to hate on that extreme level and I'm willing to bet most folks don't either, but hey I could be wrong. Maybe you have more hate come at you than Keri Hilson every time she opens her mouth to sing.

Solange

Now I usually don’t do this, but I would like to take a moment to talk about Solange Knowles. I’m loving her!!! I don’t know when or exactly how this came about but damnit Beyoncé’s younger sister is giving me life. I love her hair and its fabulous whether she’s wearing her actual hair, wigs, or box braids. I also love the fact that she told some magazine… Essence maybe that she was not the poster child for natural hair, that she was her own person. Here's the link Solange talks about natural hair, although she got some backlash from the natural girls around the world. She still gave no fucks and said she meant what she said but she could have chosen a better why of saying it. Her fashion sense is a little off to some but I love it. It's got to be hard to be the biggest pop star of our generations sister and find your own way. Solange has manage to do just that, she may not have been apart of Destiny's Child but she's found a way to step into her own Destiny.

 

Now I may not have always been here for or a fan her music when she first came out and was playing around in Lil' Bow Bow's videos. I was like girl..... we already have 3LW and now you want to be the solo version.  Please try again Miss because I''m not feeling it.

 

Well she did exactly that and dropped this little gem. I absolutely loved this album Sol-Angel and the Hadley St. Dreams. I felt like she had finally come into her own or she stopped trying to be what others thought she should, Beyonce the lite verison. Maybe after going through a divorce and having a kid she had something to talk about, whatever the case she found her groove. Recently she put out an EP True, and its amazing I love it!!! I knew I would when I heard the first single off of it Losing You. 

How can you not love this??? But even more recently she covered one of my favorite songs Make it Hot by Nicole Wray.... they need to do an episode of Finding our Missing on her, because honey has been ghost since 2001 at least. Anyway Solange covers the song and I love it. Solange covers Make it Hot . Is Solange ever going to be as big of a star as her big sister? No but do I think Solange cares about that? Absolutely not. She marches to the beat of her own drum and if you don't like the rhythm, I'm sure she would tell those people.... sit your ass down and don't dance then.

Get Happy and Get Focused

New Year’s resolutions….. where to start I’ve made them and not kept them. I actually found mine from last year in a notebook at the bottom of a pile of Elle magazines; yeah that’s how important they became around March of last year. I read them to myself, this list of fifteen things I wrote out in my best cursive hand-writing (Ms. Green my 3^rd teacher would’ve been proud) and I literally shook my head. I thought to myself, bitch you were really on one around this time last year. I won’t bore you with every single one but here are a few ones I would like to highlight. 1) Workout out/lose weight- well I did workout but I didn’t lose a single solitary pound because my ass likes wine and pie too much but hey I didn’t gain any weight either. 2) Save money- Ummm let’s just say that didn’t happen like at all because I can’t stay out of the mall. 3) Be more organized- Hell I’m not even sure what the hell I meant when I wrote this and I’m still trying to figure it out, so I guess it didn’t happen. 4) Get serious about my career- Well this one I can say I somewhat have done. I got a new job!! It’s better than my last one but I’m starting to see it’s not exactly going to help me advance my career. So I kinda need to take on more responsibilities or back to Careerbuilder I go.  5) Get an apartment- well that goes back to number 2, I didn’t save any money because I was too busy in the mall and in the streets.

So this year I didn’t write a list of resolutions or goals and no vision boards for 2013. This year I wrote on a post-it in the elevator at my place of employment. This statement “Get Happy and Get Focused.”  What the hell does this mean? I have no idea and that’s kinda the beauty of it. It means whatever the hell I want it to mean. I want to even resemble Beyoncé on the cover of GQ, well my ass better get focused and drop the sugar cookies. I want to save money and get my own place, well I better stop dropping money at bars all around Chicago like tomorrow is never going to come and bills don’t have a due dates and get focused.

The getting happy part that’s a little different, it requires a slightly different plan of action. That means figuring out what really makes me happy and sometimes that easier said than done. It means pursuing certain things, and sometimes that means doing some things out of your comfort zone to achieve that. It also means at times not giving a single 3 Musketeer (The forgotten candy bar, think about it when was the last time you saw a 3 Musketeer commercial, I’ll wait.) Fuck about what others will say or think. This is where shit gets tricky and lines get blurry, at least for me because I’m always concerned about others opinions about me and what I’m doing and this could be people I know or people I don’t know. I overthink and analyze everything, big or small. This can be a good and bad thing. The thing is when I looked back at the year 2012, I wasn’t really happy. Sure I had happy moments and good things happened and some shitty things happened last year. That’s just life. However, overall that line from T.I.’s Why you wanna do that? Keep coming to mind, “is you happy”? The answer I came up with was no not really and I’m exactly sure why. Happiness has to keep from within, it’s not as simple as this and that did or didn’t happen. It’s much more than that, it’s about are content with yourself and the choices you’re making for yourself. It’s about you…. Not your mama, daddy, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend or cat/dog. So at the end of this year and I ask myself, “is you happy”? I want to be able to yes without even thinking about it. I’ve learned in life if you want different results you at times have to go about things differently. Therefore, I better get busy getting happy, however that’s going to come about. :)

So Live Your Life

A while ago someone asked me what my biggest fear was, at the time I said Mitt Romey becoming President of the United States of America. Which it actually was at the the time but the typically answers people give never came to my mind. Such as death, heights, stretch marks, wired hangers, waking up and the Walking Dead is real life…. Etc. My actually biggest fear is living an unfulfilled life. What I mean by this; is me looking back at my life when I’m damn near about to retire and see I haven’t done shit with my life expect go to work for the past 25 years. That’s what the hell I’m talking about. I know people like this and I'm sure you do too, and the shit is borderline depressing. I just want to ask these people WTF did you do with your life in the 80’s-90’s other than work and go home and watch Cheers and Oprah every day and eat Cheez-Its?

There are no stories to tell… no trips, no kids to be proud of or to ashamed of, no crazy stories of what they did in their 20’s, 30's or 40's, no spouses to cherish or to be ready to get rid of like yesterday’s trash. It’s like their lives were; I went to college got a degree, got a job (the same one since 1988), got a home and I’m waiting on The Good Wife to come on to give me some type of entertainment. Some of these people don't even have hobbies. No gardening, collecting stamps, crossword puzzles, stalking a person's Facebook page. Its zip nada zilch going on with them. It's sleep, work, eat, and TV. It’s like what happened to you that you choose to or want to live this shell of a life. I’m not saying to your life needs to mimic that of a Diddy video from 1996. If you’re not about that party like its 1999 and its 2013 life, than don’t be about it. However I don’t see how some people choose to live their lives that of Mister Rogers walking around in that boring ass neighborhood.

There are a small percentage of these people that are actually content in the lives they have leaded and are leading… and to those I say do you boo. On the flip side a vast majority of these folks didn’t want to go down the paths their lives have taken them and are frontin’ like this is the life they want.  To the people I say GOOD DAY!! You aren’t happy with the way you choose to live your lives, you wanted something more but maybe you were too chicken shit to go after it. Maybe you wanted to have an Eat.Pray.Love moment but couldn’t because you had bills, or the person you loved once upon a time rejected you and you swore off love, or you just lived your life for your parents and didn’t want to take chances for fear of disappointing them. Whatever the case was, at the end of the day those are your choices and no one else’s. The thing that kills me about people like this is that when they see someone living life or attempting to live life to their fullest potential, these Bitter Betties and Bobs paws come out. The hate from these down and out folks goes to level red terror alert; these folks are wild, fast in the ass, hoes, amoral…..etc. Why because they rather go to the game than watch that shit on TV or because they rather go to the bar than sit at home and knit with you?  Just because a person is out in the streets doesn’t make them a street rat and just because they’re in the club doesn’t mean they’re poppin’ a Molly and sweatin. It just means they don’t want a boring ass life like yours; maybe they just want something more.

This can't be life as we know it.

Happy New Year!!! And Some Things That Can Stay In The Old One

Well Happy New Year good people!!!! I am so glad that its 2013 (even though a few things have already gone left for me.... but things have also gone right for some people I know). I for one was ready for 2012 to just exit stage left immediately, the last few months of 2012 have been straight trash for me, so therefore I was ready for it to get the hell this past Monday at 11:59pm. I am looking forward to new beginnings and to doing things differently to get different results.  However there are a few things and people I wish would stay their ass in 2012.

1) Chris Brown, Rihanna, and Karrueche- I mean them as a group, not individually. As individuals I like them but them together in this three-way from something out of Eyes Wide Shut, that shit has got to go. Between Chris Brown's taxi cab confessions of him being in love with both of them. Karrueche and Rihanna throwing shade at one another on twitter and Instagram..... at first it was funny, but this shit has gotten out of hand and its annoying now. One is on Instagram taking pics with Chris's shirt on and then 4 hours later he's at the Lakers game with the other, its just trashy. Making duets like they're Rick James and Teena Marie talking about its Nobody's Business but mine and my baby. That's true technically but how about you keep it cute and off Twitter and Instagram with this Bermuda love triangle from hell.

2) Nicki Minaj- I have never really been a fan of hers... she's just not my type of artist and I'll leave it at that. I do like a few her songs however and she's out here collecting big checks and I can't hate her for that. I think by problem with her is that she can actually rap but she does all this extra shit. I'm just not here for her Lady Gaga dreams and Katy Perry aspirations and this bubble gum rap. But hey if dressing up like a Lisa Frank folder is going to help her sell rosy toilet water she calls perfume and keep the checks rolling in... do you boo. However, why she has to officially get the hell on is because of the whole American Idol feud between her and Mariah Carey, here's the link Nicki Minaj gets ratchet with Mariah. Y'all probably don't know this but I love Mariah, I have been a fan since Vision of Love. So for this real life ratchet ass Gem Doll to cuss Mariah out about the same thing most people thought when it was announced that she was going to be a judge on American Idol. Which was girl how are you going to be judge on a singing contest and your ass can't sing??.... it's just *deep sigh*. I don't give a damn if Mariah Carey doesn't sell another damn record in her life.... checked her resume heffa? She doesn't have to because she's a legend. Girl just fall into the abyss and take Lil' Wayne and half of Young Money with you, expect for Drake I still like him. 

Tell me they don't give you the same visuals.

   

3) Personal rants on social media- Listen I go on rants on twitter but its about shit like why is the line so long at Starbucks, or why is girl dressed like Carmen Miranda at Ikea? I'm not on facebook quoting lyrics to How Could An Angel Break My Heart. Some of y'all just go too far I saw a picture on Instagram of a dude who took a picture of his dad on a stretcher on his way to the hospital, the caption said "pray for my dad he just had a heart attack". WTF??? How damn crazy can you be?? Shit like that has to stop....get out of your feelings and get off social media. Get a damn journal or start a blog. Also for 3a) stop taking pics of struggle plates of food. Nobody wants to see your instant mashed potatoes, easy mac, and dried up chicken all over the Internet.

4) Kanye West and Kim Kardashian- I'm sure y'all know she's pregnant by now, I had a whole little section written for them but after hearing this news I no longer have the energy. So here's a few thoughts about this baby news. I'm sure Kris Jenner hit her damn dougie when she heard Kim was pregnant, it just means she can use her spells and potions and turn this pregnancy into another cash cow for her. I think this woman is a wizard or at the very least a villain from a Disney movie. Listen E!.... I don't want to see any specials about baby showers or see Kim's birth canal on your network. I hope this baby looks more like her than Kanye. He's been looking more and more like Chip or Dale (pick one) from The Rescue Rangers these days. So with that Mama may have, Papa may have but God bless this child so that it will have its own.

Homecoming

So this past weekend I went back to my alma mater for homecoming and had one of the best weekend of the year. It was full of randomness, foolishness, ratchetness, and drunkenness, all the things that make weekends like this eventful and one that won’t be forgotten.  I hung out with people I had seen in years and did things I haven’t done in years either. Well while this fun was being had, something occurred to me. Some people are just plain delusional like Jackie Christie delusional.  Maybe delusional isn’t the right word, they have an inflated sense of self.

I think that in any type of reunion situation, you’re going to always come across that person that thinks that they’re the shit no matter what and maybe they were 5-10 years ago but in present day they’re more like shit on a stick. Most of the time they are quite opposite of the person they use to be, as 50 cent once said “Damn homie, in high school, you was the man homie, what the fuck happened to you?” They’re the ones kinda acting stuck up, they’re sociable but not too sociable, and they’re an ass but not a complete asshole.  They are the ones walking around the party like its 2002 and they’re still captain of the football team and people need to recognize that, and speak to them first. Oh no honey its 2012 and you haven’t thrown a football since 2002 and by the looks of it you haven’t done a sit-up since then either. Despite what Mitt Romey wants you to think gas ain’t $1.86/gal and will never be that again, meaning times have clearly change but your ass is stuck in past. Trying to get into the DeLorean to go Back to the Future, sir/madame it was a movie and there’s no such thing. It’s like these fools live in a world where Nelly songs are on the top 100 Billboard charts, Girlfriends is still on the air, and Girbaud jeans reign supreme.  

Well this is most definitely not the case, so please stop acting like it is. Just because you were hot shit back in the day, that may not be the fact of the matter today.  Even if you’re the shit now….. Guess what?  Most people aren’t going to be impressed. Unless you’re doing real pimp shit, like hosting fundraisers at your house for President Barack Obama; other than that people don’t give a damn. Why??? Because this ain’t Bayside High or the college years, this is real life and nobody has time for those types of shenanigans. People give zero fucks about you poppin bottles in vip…. You do know that same bottle of Grey Goose that you paid $300+ for cost $40 and the liquor store, right? Nobody cares that you’re driving a Range Rover…. Is that shit paid for?? Then maybe you can impress somebody. People aren’t concerned about you rocking the latest shit and bangin top notch bitches/dudes. People are concern about 401Ks, mortgage interest rates, day care, going to the gym, and getting to Trader Joe’s before the lines get too long. Because that’s real shit and not that Mariah Carey Fantasy bullshit you’re worried about.  So if you’re going come to these class reunions, homecomings, or whatever else acting like you’re Zack Morris and you run Bayside High, please have an everlasting seat. Don’t come to these functions acting like you’re Grace Kelly sequel, because you’re probably going to get read from the table of contents to the index, I saw it happen this past weekend and it wasn’t pretty. It was however hilarious though. Don’t have people looking at you and thinking this…… 

I Do It For The Ratchets

Last weekend I got the chance to attend a concert basically for free. The artist I went to go see was Tyga. I can't say I'm a fan of his music and that's not to say I don't enjoy some of his songs because for like a month Rack City was the song that would come on in the club that got me all the way turned up. Anyway while at this concert I noticed a few things.

1) These kids today are definitely doing it differently than when I was a teenager.  The concert's population was largely comprised of teenagers, now I don't know if that was because this was a Tyga concert and his fan base is made up of mostly pop tarts or because the Chicago teacher strike was still going on and these kids didn't have class on Monday. Either way that place reeked of teen spirit.... good God!!! I mean there were dozens of kids just roaming around and there wasn't a parent in sight. I mean I went to concerts with my friends as a teen. I recall my first concert being a Immature ( I was in love with them and then they change their name to IMX and I was over it), Monica, and Usher concert. My mama dropped us off in front of the stadium and was standing right in front of the Fox Theater when it was over. There wasn't even enough time for us to attempt to go backstage and find Immature's dressing room and be fast ass little girls.  These kids chile.... I think half of them come to the concert high on bath salts or pixie sticks. I mean not all of them were being absolutely ratchet but for the most part they were all the way turnt up for no damn reason. Lord I just don't think these were the kids Whitney Houston had in mind when she said "she believe the children are our future".

2) Groupie shit will never ever die its just going to multiple. Now for the most the concert was full of teenagers but there were a few grown ass women out there being groupies at a damn Tyga concert. When I say grown ass women, I am talking about 30+. Tyga himself is only 22..... there was no reason for women to have been at this concert in their tightest BeBe dresses and highest Bakers shoes. Why are you at the concert looking like Draya from BasketBall Wives doing the reunion taping? Girl where are you going?? Its fucking Tyga and you're 31. It was just him...... not the whole Young Money crew. Everyone else had on jeans and Jordan's, why were these hoes acting like it was 1996 and 2Pac just got released from jail??  Yes I came to the conclusion that they were hoes. If you have on the uniform, you must play for the team right? I guess the rent ain't gonna pay itself. 


3) I'm not as ratchet as I think I am. By no means did I think was that ratchet ass girl; that goes to the grocery store with my hair in a scarf, pajama pants, and Chinese slippers. All the while talking so loudly on my cell phone that other people can hear my conversation in aisle 2 and I am all the way in  aisle 8. But I do have my ratchet and trashy moments. I listen to my 2 Chainz Pandora station while at work, Bands a Make Her Dance was/is my favorite song this summer, I do drink Kool-aid out of mason jars at times (although that maybe more country than ratchet). Anyway attending that concert showed me that I'm pretty low on the ratchet meter. I saw some fashion styles that I haven't seen since BET's Uncut was still on air. Behavior that should only reserved for Saturday nights at your local city's most ratchet ass club.... I mean girls so fucked up that they were laid out in the bathroom floor looking like.... where are my keys?  I lost my phone. Also I'm sure one of them had pissed on themselves. Yeah I'm not about that life. I'll leave that shit to folks like Tyga because he does do it for the ratchets.

Music Spotlight: Miguel

I usually don't really blog about music but since this is my blog... I'll talk about whatever I feel like and today its music. More specifically its about one particular artist Miguel..... I love his music!! Although he maybe the  fairest pixie fairy this side of the Mississippi. In my mind me and him are very good girlfriends we do things like go shopping, drink skinny girl margaritas, and watch old episodes of the Golden Girls together. But all jokes aside his music is banging!!!!! When I first heard of Miguel I believe I was watching vh1 soul or something and this video came on.

I thought the song was cute.... well no I did actually really like the song and added it to by ipod but I really didn't give Miguel or his music much thought after that. Well a few months went by and I was in one of my friend's car and she was listen to Miguel's debut album and it was good. I mean it was really good.... you can listen to that CD from the beginning to end and not skip a song. That's pretty damn rare these days.. shit most folks albums consist of a couple hot singles and the rest of the album is hot garbage. Yes I'm talking to you Usher that album he put out earlier this summer.. well let's just say it left much to be desired. So the next day after hearing Miguel's CD in my friends car I actually physically went out and purchased that CD, and that's something I rarely do. I've been listening to it ever since. Well I'm not going to sit up here and pretend that the boy isn't strange fruit because my God is he is. Between getting into twitter beefs with people like Lloyd about haircuts and no-lye relaxers. If he wants to be mad at someone about jacking hairstyles, he needs to direct his attention to Bruno Mars. They are both winning the award for the best Johnny Bravo duplicate haircut. 

Then he got all the way into his feelings about not being nominated for a Grammy, but to be honest they did shade the fuck out of him for that. Oh let''s not forget him trying to convince anyone with Internet access he likes vagina.... boy O_o...... ok good sir and taking instagram pics with his girlfriend/beard. Boy guess.... I convinced he's trying to be the millennium version of Prince, but here's the thing with all of Prince's purpleness I have never thought he was gay... Did I think he was eccentric? Yes. Freaky? Yes. Gay? Naw. Miguel well.... that isn't for me to say but this isn't about whether or not he likes a strong cock or not. It's about his music and that shit is banging .... I can honestly say there isn't a song I've heard from him that I don't like. The first time I heard this song below I listened to it on repeat for the rest of the day and was actually pissed it was only like 2 minutes. So when the full song dropped this summer... I got my life to it. His sophomore album is dropping next month and I strongly suggest you get into it. He has a couple of mixtapes out Art Dealer Chic Vol. 1-3, there are 3 songs a piece on each volume and I love them. He always has two previews out for his new album as well Kaleidoscope Dreams. After listening to both the mixtapes and previews, I convinced that this boy is slaying everyone else in the R&B game... yes you Trey Songz, Usher, Ne-yo and anyone else you can think of. Therefore I don't care if he wants to wear his hair like Wayman from Low Down Dirty Shame and dress like the real life version of Jafar from Aladdin. His music goes..... now if we can only get Justin Timberlake's ass together all would be well in the land of music. 

I've Got A City Love

Some of you may or may not know that within the last year I moved from Atlanta,GA to Chicago, IL. Well in my journey to the Mid-west I did at one point in time actually live in the City of Chicago.... then things fell apart (it's a long and shitty story) and I had to moved outside of the city limits to the suburbs. Next week marks a year of  living in this suburban town and I fucking hate it!!! Oh suburban life isn't for me at all. Some of you are now questioning well if you hate why don't you just move back to the city? Well the city is expensive and while I do have a job (which is 10 minutes from where I live). I've learned from the school of Hard Knocks, that living above your means is not the business and if I moved the city right now I'll be eating tuna out of a can every night for dinner. So in a way I'm trapped and not in a damn closet. I'm not sure if y'all have ever seen the show Suburgatory, its a cute little show. I honestly don't even know how or when I started to watch it but man can I relate to this girl's pain. The show is basically about a high school girl named Tessa, she and her father move to the suburbs from Manhattan and she fucking hates her life there. Well me and Tessa are one in the same. There are so many reasons why I'm not about this suburb life but I'll only touch on a few.

1) The distance- When I tell you I live far away from Chicago, I live far away. There's the boonies and then there's a place further than the boonies, called the back woods and that's where I live the back woods of Illinois. It's the worst.... when people ask me where I live and I tell them. Nobody knows where the hell I stay at. That's how you know you live out there, folks have never heard for your town. People at times name neighboring towns and I say well I live like 20 or 30 minutes pass there. I swear people look at me like I live in the middle of the wilderness. That drive from where I live to the city is no joke, and don't even get me started if there's traffic. Which there always is... tag on another hour to my time and as we all know gas prices are sky high.

2) Wildlife- When living in the backwoods you are bound to run into creatures of the forest. These creatures I'm referring to are deer. Listen if anybody who knows me in real life knows if there's one animal I'm scared shitless of its a deer. Why? Well for one they're wild animals and you never know what they're capable of. They also like to stand on the side of the road waiting to jump, like they're waiting to jump in like in double-dutch and if you've ever hit a deer with your car (which I have been in the car when someone else did) they well straight up tear your car up. Recently I went running in a park behind my sub-division at 6:30am and as I was jogging along there it was the biggest damn deer I've ever seen in my life in the bushes; literally 1.45 feet away from me. I saw it and it definitely saw me and what did I do? I turned around and ran like the damn wind, I hadn't ran so hard since field day and I was running the 100m sprint in 6th grade. So yeah I ran away from a deer, I know if the deer really wanted to out run me it could have but that was my first reaction, to run as fast as I could. Listen that wasn't Bambi I ran into in that park, it was wild dangerous animal. For a week I didn't have air in my house because a rabbit, chipmunk, or some kind of damn rodent ate through one of the wires outside for the ac unit... yeah these are suburban problems.

3) Nothing to do and nothing to see- Other than my family and my one coworker I like I know not a single soul out here in No Man's Land. There are only two kind of people here 1) families and 2) retirees and that's all folks. There are really no people my age here, just people going to PTA meetings and the other half going to AARP meetings (if they have them). Everything closes at like 10pm, even on the weekends. Shit half the time I'm still getting ready to go out at 10pm, I'm a night owl and now I'm being forced to be a day one and it fucking sucks.

Living in the suburbs has made be really realize that I'm a city girl. I like the noise, in fact I crave it.... I can't stand when things are too quite. It makes me feel like I'm in the beginning of a horror movie or something. To me if things are too quite, that eerie quite some shit is about to go down. I need the police sirens, trains going by, people on the street talking, loud music. Hell I even miss the city smells... you know that sweet smell of the sewer, piss, and come kind of street meat mixed together. I miss all the things the city has to offer that the suburbs don't. I'm not the three bedroom house, with a garage, and white picked  fence girl. I know the city has its downside the crime, how everything is more expensive, blah, blah... but for me that's part of city life. I'm in love with the city (not just the City of Chicago) and according my mom it's been a love affair on going since I was 3. She told me story  once about before my family move to Atlanta and was still living in Chicago, we were on our way downtown one night and she said my little eyes lit up, they were dazzled by the city lights. She said she knew right then she had to get my ass down south but that's neither here nor there. But point is that this love affair is still in a continuum and I don't see that changing anytime soon.  

There's No Crying In Baseball

You know some people are just criers and that’s perfectly ok. I place no judgment on them for that, sometimes the simplest things (that’s what most people think) can set them off and they proceed to cry you a river. I have friends that are easy criers, sometimes their cries don’t always indicate they’re sad or they have a serious problem. It’s just their release mechanism, everyone’s release or coping mechanism is different. Some people rage against the machine, some drink themselves into a drunken stupor, others take a nap, and some just cry about. I think I’m a combo of all those things, I been known to have my One Last Cry like Brian McKnight and they proceed to drink some wine and take my ass to bed. Please believe I’m not above crying about any damn thing. But what I refuse to do is cry at work. Let me re-phrase that, I refuse to cry in front of people at work because I have cried at work (like 3 weeks ago when I found out my dog died).

I’ve cried at plenty of times at work it’s just in the privacy of my car or the good old bathroom stall of the women’s restroom. See every time I’ve seen someone cry at work in front of people…. Well the shit is just terrible. Terrible I say!!  First if you’re crying at work people are going to gather around like they are witnessing the birth of Christ and ask what’s wrong. So there you are snotty nosed, puffed eyed, and red faced… just a hot mess and now you have to explain to people (1/2 of them you don’t like) what the fuck your problem is. If it’s non-work related people are going to be more sympathetic towards you but if your ass is cry because your supervisor chewed your ass out in the 9:00am meeting and you go to your desk at 9:30am crying….. People aren’t going to be so understanding. It doesn’t matter if you’re a male or female and if some gives you a tissue or not.  They’re all thinking what the hell is wrong with this bitchass. You will be ever and a damn day be labeled as well for lack of a better word a crybaby. Women you already know office politics are harder on us, is it fair no but life isn’t fair. So if you start going up in your place of employment crying like someone stole your bike, you will be JUDGED and labeled. People are going to throw your ass into the emotional, unstable, and difficult to work with category. People will avoid doing things to set you off…. It just becomes this all around nuisance. I know from first-hand experience how crying at work is just not the move you want to make.

At the time I was working at my after school job while I was in high school. I worked at a local grocery store chain in the Southeast region of the country. As Monica would’ve said “It was just one of those days where I wanted to be all alone” Now I can remember exactly why I was so upset that day. I believed  I had a shitty day at school, I want to say I got a not so good grade on my physics test, I’m sure something about a boy was bothering me as well, my mom had pissed me off, and I quite possibly could’ve been on my period.  Anyway I get to work, I was a cashier there. Now I distantly remember Simply Red’s Holding Back the Tears playing over the loud speaker at the store .My boss says something to me I have no idea what, but I was standing next to one of the bag boys and after whatever the fuck my boss said to me I burst into tears. Now I stand firm in my conviction in that Simply Red’s Hold Back the Tears is the saddest and most emotionally turbulent song ever written. I think hearing that song sent me over the edge and the waterworks ensued.  Yeah it was pretty bad, so bad in fact my boss sent me home for the day. Not in a bad I was suspended from work way but in a; you’re clearly going through some shit and you need to go lay down or something kind of way.  However before I went home I was bombarded with a 100 questions about what was wrong with me, and I couldn’t answer any of them because there was nothing really wrong with me to be crying like Trey from Boyz in the Hood after Ricky was shot. So that made me cry even more…smh. While I was weeping like a baby, I heard the bag boy say “well damn I’ll go get the buggies from outside, there’s no need to cry”. So there started the rumor around the store from that day until the day I quit was that I was crying and Waiting to Exhale because I didn’t want to get the buggies from outside. That was SOO not the case but it didn’t matter that’s what people thought. So whenever something went down at work, people would say don’t upset her, you know she’s sensitive, you’re not gonna cry about are you? So learn from my mistake at 17 don’t ever cry at work unless somebody has died or something. You better do it like Samantha Jones from Sex and the City and hold your composure until you get to the elevator.

I Was Just Frontin'

I was shooting the shit with a friend of mine the other day and somehow and someway we started talking about how some women change their whole damn demeanor once a man enters the premises.   Now the man doesn’t even have to be her “type”, attractive, or someone she could see herself dating, the only criteria he needs to cause such a change is a penis. When I say change, I’m not talking about simple things. There are certain things I’m not going to talk about around random men, such as my mind-numbing cramps, nipple sensitivity, my latest pap smear results, or just anything that has to do with my reproductive organs. Yeah there’s no need to have a briefing about the state of my vagina around men that aren't going to see it. 

What I’m referring to are women that as soon as they sense a penis in their atmosphere. They stand up straight, stick their butts and chest out, they put on perfume, fluff their hair, and start whispering like Marilyn Monroe. They from the pic on the left 

to the pic on the right . They just don’t do this shit for their men, no they put on this show for all men, that aren’t immediate family. Now I understand trying to put your best foot forward and dangling bait for men you deem attractive because I’ve done that and will continue to do so, but what I’m not about to do is to that all that extra shit for the knot-kneed mailman. Absolutely not!!! A lot women particpate in this nonsense, it just isn’t that damn deep.

It’s not only a physical front these women put up  either, not only are these girls changing into Betty Boop without a clue, they’re losing their personalities as well. Example I few years ago I was at my cousin’s house in NYC and her friend was in their talking about how Superbad was the funniest movie she had ever seen and whatnot. As I had seen Superbad I agreed it was a pretty funny movie, 30 minutes later my cousin’s boyfriend and two of his extra-regular ass friends are at my cousin’s place. They had just seen Pineapple Express at the movies and said it was the funniest shit ever. Now I had seen Pineapple Express too, it was funny but in my opinion it wasn’t as funny as SuperBad. This was also the opinion of my cousin's friend as well, but 30 minutes later when these dudes are ripping Superbad to shredded cheese. This same girl who said Superbad was the funniest movie she's ever seen now agrees with the humans with the penises that Pineapple Express was funnier O_o. The rest of us girls were just looking at her like she was crazy.... but she was unbothered by us because she's now sitting at the cool kids table with the boys. 

Chile I guess.... It just seems like behaving in such a manner would be exhausting. Honestly how long can one put up this facade.  Like if you like 2 Chainz but some dude doesn't, he thinks 2 Chainz shouldn't even be rapping on Sesame Street. What the hell are you gonna do? Agree that your favorite rapper is wack or defend him like The Union did against General Robert E. Lee and the Confederates at the Battle of Gettysburg??? Do you know that every time No Lie or Riot comes on and you're around this man, you won't be able to lose your mind!! Well if you want that life, more power to you but I 'm sorry I'm not about to fake the funk for anybody. You can either love or leave me alone~ Jay-Z 

Lauryn Hill: A Timeout Is Needed

Lauryn Noelle Hill girl a discussion needs to happen, we need to have a seat, take a knee, a timeout, or something girl because this shit has gotten fucking ridiculous. First let's talk about your Uncle Sam/tax issues, here's a link to those that aren't familiar with the situation Lauryn Hill doesn't want to pay taxes. Our friend and former leader of revolution (what this revolution is all about, I'm not exactly sure) hasn't paid her taxes in like three years O_o..... why? Well according to her, she withdrew from society because of a variety of reasons. The injustices of the world, her children, the depleting ozone layer, the rent is too damn high, whatever the fuck homegirl decided to go underground. Since she was underground and not a "functioning" member of society she should be excused from paying taxes. She explained all this to the IRS but they weren't buying that shit she was selling. She has a court date at the end of the month and faces a $100,000 fine and one year in jail.....so there's that.  Let's get one thing straight this is the United States of America... everybody pays taxes that works in this country. Idk what they do in whatever world; this chicks mind is a resident in but in this country if you collect a check taxes must be paid. Girl you know this!!! Don't act like this is some new shit because its not, if the President pays taxes what the hell makes you think you don't have to? You can go underground, take the underground railroad to Kalamazoo, and then go under the sea like Ariel but if you collect any type of check you MUST pay taxes. You weren't too withdrawn from society to pop up at random concerts dressed like a hobo, and give people a few lines of Killing Me Softly and Ready or Not. You got checks for that.... did you not think taxes should be taken out? The IRS isn't here for your excuses of withdrawing from society, they are here for their money that's it. You don't pay you will go to jail, do not collect $200 or pass go. Think I'm wrong well ask Wesley Snipes, he knows all about it. Hey maybe y'all can be jail pen pals and y'all can work on writing Blade 24.87 or Murder at Cellblock 1700 because that's what happens to people that don't pay taxes for whatever reasons. This Marley penis must be a Killer.... because she has clearly lost it with this one.

Speaking of Marley penises..... Lauryn's baby daddy Rohan Marley recently got engaged to Isabeli Bergossi Fontana, notice I didn't say Lauryn Noelle Hill. The man she's been with since about 1996 and has five kids with (its not clear if the sixth kid is his child), they have called each other spiritual husband and wife for years but that means absolutely nothing at the end of the day. Just like her "I withdrew from society", so no taxes for me explanation means shit. Look I don't know the particulars of Lauryn and Marley's relationship but for you to be with someone for over 10 years and have 5-6 kids together and the other party ups and gets engaged to another person, it makes one wonder. WTH?? Now some people were outraged, saying how could Rohan do this to Lauryn she gave up here career for him and this is how he re-pays her? I do believe that these people are reaching for stars and stripes with such statements. The reality is no one knows what happened between them. Lauryn may have broken up with him, maybe that last kid is someone else's and Rohan didn't want to raise someone else's kid, who the fuck knows. I do know this though Rohn is probably not the reason why The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill 2 has never dropped. That burden is carried by Ms. Hill only..... why did she turn her back on the music industry? Her kids, the pressures of fame, the anxiety of creating another classic, her dreads wouldn't grew any longer. The real reasons will probably never really be known. I just don't think placing blame at Rohan's feet as to why one of the greatest female artist this generation has seen decided to become the phantom of Hip-Hop is fair. 


Just as I think getting all pissed off that this man decided to get married to someone else is a little hasty. I mean I get it Lauryn has with him for years and five kids with him, so I guess logically she should be marrying him... she put in all the work but didn't reap the reward. But has anyone thought about it this way, she did all that but still came up short, why? How come this man didn't want to marry this woman after all that? The only thing I can come up with is because he didn't want to. Maybe the saying is right why buy the cow when you get the milk free rings true in this case. Is that what happened between these two or may be not or may be not? All I know is that I hope Lauryn can get back to being L-Boggie and get her mind right. Come out with some new music and not that Unplugged shit she was trying it with a few years back, because that she can keep. So until then Lauryn pay you taxes, stay out of Jail... girl you have 6 kids get it together, I'm gonna go listen to Lost One's and hope for the best.