The Gray Area

So there I was sitting in this bar sipping my vodka tonic next to the guy I've been somewhat dating for the past couple of months. Someone comes up and starts talking to him and he introduces me to them and says "Hey...this is my girl Brittany". Lord I wish someone had taken a picture of my face when he said that. I'm sure I had the WTF face going on, it was a face of shock and utter confusion and not one of excitement (and not because I don't like him). Notice how I said me and this guy have been somewhat dating. Not we're officially dating like we're headed to the chapel and we're going to get married.  Yes we're dating but there's no titles to this situation we have going here, and that's really no shade it's the truth. I still date other people (although not as frequently) and I assume he does as well. Although I never ask him if that's the case. So when he said that I literally almost fell off the bar stool because I didn't know we were as I would've said in the 5th grade, we went together. 

After the person stepped away, he turned to me and said he said I was his girl because it was easier say than telling the truth. Which as I explained earlier we're dating with no definition. Although I did point out to him that he could've said I was his friend. His reply was that he sees more than a friend... ladies and gentlemen this is what I like to call the gray area.  This is a particular point in dating that is oh so very ambiguous, confusing, and a little tiresome. What I mean by that is; you and this person are seeing each other and at some point its on a more frequent and regular basis but you can't flat out say this person is your boyfriend/girlfriend. Y'all are just kickin' it and seeing where things go, like a damn plastic bag floating in the air.... there's no clear direction. The confusing and frustrating part comes into play because well like in my particular case and like many other people's, there no real conversation has taken place about what the fuck is going on. Nobody wants to rock the boat or work the middle, and start that whole "where are things going?" convo. This is where the gray area comes into play. You can't get mad if that person flirts or whatever the fuck else with other people because that's not your bf/gf. You can't cuss him/her out to the highest degree because they do something you perceive as shady or whatever. I mean you can but that person can throw that we ain't together card in your face and they would not be in the wrong to do so. While you can point out how certain things may or may not upset you; you can't get all the way into your feelings about certain things. Well you can but I suggest you do that shit at home and check certain feelings at the door. That poker face has to be stronger than Lady Gaga's but maybe that's just me and I'm stubborn person. 

The gray area isn't a place I like to be in for long extended periods of time... I'm a black and white kind of girl. Although I realize the gray area exist for a reason, it definitely has its benefits as well. The time spent in the gray area can be used to see how you really feel about the person you're dealing with. If this person is really worth your time and effort, if they're just a little crush,  something to do to pass the time until cuffin' season is over or if this is the real deal. This is the time where you decide if this is a black or white situation, if you should let it go like Keyshia Cole or hold on to your love like En Vogue. I think the frustration with the gray area comes with the initiation of that dreaded conversation " where is this going"? Its such a loaded question. A question that can't be asked too soon because well you may come off as thirsty, needy, or clingy and who the hell wants to be that person? If the question is asked too late, there's the chance the other party has just mentally moved on from the situation and has just over it and you. The gray area..... a place where people's true colors don't always come shining through, what's a girl to do?          

I Do It For The Ratchets

Last weekend I got the chance to attend a concert basically for free. The artist I went to go see was Tyga. I can't say I'm a fan of his music and that's not to say I don't enjoy some of his songs because for like a month Rack City was the song that would come on in the club that got me all the way turned up. Anyway while at this concert I noticed a few things.

1) These kids today are definitely doing it differently than when I was a teenager.  The concert's population was largely comprised of teenagers, now I don't know if that was because this was a Tyga concert and his fan base is made up of mostly pop tarts or because the Chicago teacher strike was still going on and these kids didn't have class on Monday. Either way that place reeked of teen spirit.... good God!!! I mean there were dozens of kids just roaming around and there wasn't a parent in sight. I mean I went to concerts with my friends as a teen. I recall my first concert being a Immature ( I was in love with them and then they change their name to IMX and I was over it), Monica, and Usher concert. My mama dropped us off in front of the stadium and was standing right in front of the Fox Theater when it was over. There wasn't even enough time for us to attempt to go backstage and find Immature's dressing room and be fast ass little girls.  These kids chile.... I think half of them come to the concert high on bath salts or pixie sticks. I mean not all of them were being absolutely ratchet but for the most part they were all the way turnt up for no damn reason. Lord I just don't think these were the kids Whitney Houston had in mind when she said "she believe the children are our future".

2) Groupie shit will never ever die its just going to multiple. Now for the most the concert was full of teenagers but there were a few grown ass women out there being groupies at a damn Tyga concert. When I say grown ass women, I am talking about 30+. Tyga himself is only 22..... there was no reason for women to have been at this concert in their tightest BeBe dresses and highest Bakers shoes. Why are you at the concert looking like Draya from BasketBall Wives doing the reunion taping? Girl where are you going?? Its fucking Tyga and you're 31. It was just him...... not the whole Young Money crew. Everyone else had on jeans and Jordan's, why were these hoes acting like it was 1996 and 2Pac just got released from jail??  Yes I came to the conclusion that they were hoes. If you have on the uniform, you must play for the team right? I guess the rent ain't gonna pay itself. 


3) I'm not as ratchet as I think I am. By no means did I think was that ratchet ass girl; that goes to the grocery store with my hair in a scarf, pajama pants, and Chinese slippers. All the while talking so loudly on my cell phone that other people can hear my conversation in aisle 2 and I am all the way in  aisle 8. But I do have my ratchet and trashy moments. I listen to my 2 Chainz Pandora station while at work, Bands a Make Her Dance was/is my favorite song this summer, I do drink Kool-aid out of mason jars at times (although that maybe more country than ratchet). Anyway attending that concert showed me that I'm pretty low on the ratchet meter. I saw some fashion styles that I haven't seen since BET's Uncut was still on air. Behavior that should only reserved for Saturday nights at your local city's most ratchet ass club.... I mean girls so fucked up that they were laid out in the bathroom floor looking like.... where are my keys?  I lost my phone. Also I'm sure one of them had pissed on themselves. Yeah I'm not about that life. I'll leave that shit to folks like Tyga because he does do it for the ratchets.

I Am Not My Hair: Part 5

Well it's been awhile since I did a post about my hair... but I'm back with a quick update. For those that don't know I shaved my head back in January (I Am Not My Hair) because well there's no eloquent way to say why I did it. No I didn't have a Britney Spears moment, I just got a really bad perm. So bad to the point that my hair fell out from the root.... Honestly I think it was one of the best things that's happened for to hair. I mean that my hair getting that damaged from a relaxer, that it just fell out of my head like it had just given up on life, that the only real choice I was to shave it off and start over. Made me really think about what the creamy crack was doing to my hair. After I shaved my head.... I decided or maybe it was Divine Intervention that stepped in and decided for me, that chemically altering my hair isn't the way to go anymore. Anyway its been different from what I'm use to, and that's putting it mildly.

Different to the point that I wasn't sure what to do with my hair as it started to grow. When it got to a certain point/long enough, I got box braids for about two months. I took them out this week because I had a lot of time on my hands ( that's another story) and my hair grew a lot. I was actually really surprised by that. It grew to the point where I really didn't know what to do with it once again. It's in that twa (teeny weeny afro) phase and that's cute for some put for me not so much. So after two days I got my hair re-braided.... I just couldn't deal, plus I am trying to grow my hair out. In my experience I realized that the less access I have to my hair, the more my hair grows. I know I just need more time with my hair and learn what works on my hair and what doesn't. I just have that hair that's like a sponge it just soaks up any piece of moisture that touches it. So my hair is always dry.... no matter how hard I try. Nobody said this natural hair journey was going to be easy.

Music Spotlight: Miguel

I usually don't really blog about music but since this is my blog... I'll talk about whatever I feel like and today its music. More specifically its about one particular artist Miguel..... I love his music!! Although he maybe the  fairest pixie fairy this side of the Mississippi. In my mind me and him are very good girlfriends we do things like go shopping, drink skinny girl margaritas, and watch old episodes of the Golden Girls together. But all jokes aside his music is banging!!!!! When I first heard of Miguel I believe I was watching vh1 soul or something and this video came on.

I thought the song was cute.... well no I did actually really like the song and added it to by ipod but I really didn't give Miguel or his music much thought after that. Well a few months went by and I was in one of my friend's car and she was listen to Miguel's debut album and it was good. I mean it was really good.... you can listen to that CD from the beginning to end and not skip a song. That's pretty damn rare these days.. shit most folks albums consist of a couple hot singles and the rest of the album is hot garbage. Yes I'm talking to you Usher that album he put out earlier this summer.. well let's just say it left much to be desired. So the next day after hearing Miguel's CD in my friends car I actually physically went out and purchased that CD, and that's something I rarely do. I've been listening to it ever since. Well I'm not going to sit up here and pretend that the boy isn't strange fruit because my God is he is. Between getting into twitter beefs with people like Lloyd about haircuts and no-lye relaxers. If he wants to be mad at someone about jacking hairstyles, he needs to direct his attention to Bruno Mars. They are both winning the award for the best Johnny Bravo duplicate haircut. 

Then he got all the way into his feelings about not being nominated for a Grammy, but to be honest they did shade the fuck out of him for that. Oh let''s not forget him trying to convince anyone with Internet access he likes vagina.... boy O_o...... ok good sir and taking instagram pics with his girlfriend/beard. Boy guess.... I convinced he's trying to be the millennium version of Prince, but here's the thing with all of Prince's purpleness I have never thought he was gay... Did I think he was eccentric? Yes. Freaky? Yes. Gay? Naw. Miguel well.... that isn't for me to say but this isn't about whether or not he likes a strong cock or not. It's about his music and that shit is banging .... I can honestly say there isn't a song I've heard from him that I don't like. The first time I heard this song below I listened to it on repeat for the rest of the day and was actually pissed it was only like 2 minutes. So when the full song dropped this summer... I got my life to it. His sophomore album is dropping next month and I strongly suggest you get into it. He has a couple of mixtapes out Art Dealer Chic Vol. 1-3, there are 3 songs a piece on each volume and I love them. He always has two previews out for his new album as well Kaleidoscope Dreams. After listening to both the mixtapes and previews, I convinced that this boy is slaying everyone else in the R&B game... yes you Trey Songz, Usher, Ne-yo and anyone else you can think of. Therefore I don't care if he wants to wear his hair like Wayman from Low Down Dirty Shame and dress like the real life version of Jafar from Aladdin. His music goes..... now if we can only get Justin Timberlake's ass together all would be well in the land of music.