Poppin' Up Like Poptarts

Have you ever gotten a text like this, "Hey, what's up "? This is from a number that's not in your phone, it's just some random a$$ number that you have no idea who this person could be. So you being the curious person you are, you hit them back with "Nothing much, but who is this?" Their response, "Lol, its (and you may insert whatever random name that doesn't ring a bell). Your mind is literally drawing a blank, you have no clue who he is but before you can inquire more info. They've already beat you to the punch and is trying to refresh your memory. They're telling you where they met you at, what you had on, how high the moon was that night, blah, blah, blah. Then suddenly you do remember but what you remember most is that you gave this dude your number in January. It's clearly May!

There are so many questions. Why are you texting me 3-4 months after the fact? Of course I don't remember you, hell I can barely remember what I ate for lunch today. You're not on my radar, do you think I've been sitting around wondering why I haven't heard from you in all this time? Please take a seat and get over yourself, sir. Now what really kills me (no Melanie Fiona) is that dudes really get mad, that you don't recall an arbitrary meeting, with a random guy on some random night. Le sigh.

So after all this you decided it's not worth your time to text him back and continue this pointless conversation. Then he hits you with this "send me a pic." This right here just makes me want to go all the way off. Send you a picture? So this is how we're doing it in 2011? First of all why do you even still have my number, scratch that I don't want to know or care. But what makes you really think I'm going to send basically a complete strange a pic of myself? In school we were taught this little saying, "stranger, danger". So hell no I'm not sending you a pic, you don't need to know what I look like because as Jezzy would say, "N!gga I don't know you". You need to get all the way out of here with that mess. It's just ultra weird and slightly creepy and this sh!t needs to stop immediately. Here's a rule of thumb, if  you haven't used someone's number two weeks after getting it, just don't contact them. It's usually not a good look. Just let the whole situation burn like Dennis Rodman's pee, sorry but he just looks like he has/had a STD.