Monday, April 25, 2011

Is It Really Worth All The Trouble?

I was talking to someone the other day and they were going on about how one of their friends was going crazy over this guy she's dating on and off again. I mean she's literally drive herself crazy. Hacking into his twitter account, putting spyware on his computer, and flying him to across the country. Just plain old crazy, like batsh!t crazy. Also from what I heard he didn't treat her that well, he was kinda a d!ck. As I sat there listening about this girl and the things she was going through dealing with this man, one question kept popping up in my head. Why was she putting up with this crap? I got the answer to my question, she was going through hell with this guy because he lays good pipe/he has good d!ck.

Child.... this is a no bueno situation, this girl is losing her hot damn mind over D!CK!! Gtfoh I just want to shake the mess out of this girl and girls who think like her and tell her. There is no reason her to be losing her mind solely over d!ck, now I can see you losing all you sh!t if he was fine, treated you like a queen, and you truly loved him. But acting like a stone cold fool and making bad decisions just because this man is providing you with good or in some cases mediocre d!ck. Is just unacceptable and if you are like this woman in question, you need to re-evaluate the situation and your life.

I'm going to provide you with some information that I thought every girl knew but apparently this isn't the case. D!ck is free!! Its like air it's literally everywhere, you don't have to work for it or beg for it because its always there just like the air we breathe. Now would you go to the store and buy a box of air? No, I don't think you would do such a thing, so why would you go through such links for some peeny? When this commodity is so readily available, its like what Chris Rock said. Men offer you peeny everyday is some form or fashion. When some strange man offers you his seat on the train, opens the door for you, picks up your pen or even just smiles at you. He's asking you do you want some d!ck? Well, more specifically his d!ck. So when I see girls driving themselves over the edge, over some guy only because he's laying more pipe than a plumber. I just don't understand such a things, why put yourself through hell and high water for something that's worth about a penny.

Now I'm not saying all d!ck is created equal, by no means am I saying that.We all know that isn't true, lord if it was oh how simple life would be or complicated, its all in how you look at. All I'm saying is stop putting d!ck on a pedestal, like it's going out of style. Believe me it's not, men have to work for what they want. We don't, that's one of the great things about being a woman. Also in the same token I'm not saying you don't have to work for the man you want, all I'm saying is you don't have work for what's connected to his lower region.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Shifting Through The Garbage

You know I go in a lot about guys you shouldn't date and the sheer amount of lameness I/we encounter on a daily basis, from thirsty and wack a$$ dudes. I talk about it a lot because it's so prevalent in our society, dudes using the same tried lines they used in high school.  Hitting girls with weak game and just generally being a boil on a butt of any half way decent looking girl that passes their way. From the guys who just don't know how to take a hint to the ones who call you a b!tch because you politely deny their advances, and guys really?? We are still doing this in 2011? Just because she doesn't want to give you her number, that doesn't make her a b!tch or ugly. I'm pretty sure if she was ugly you wouldn't tried to holla at her in the first place.  Anyhoo, I talk about it a lot because it happens a lot and I just don't think men who don't behave in such a manner realize this.


I really don't think men who are on the opposite side of the spectrum really understand what some women have to endure with these lame and corny men. Years of being berated by over eager men, who want to drink your bath water or sop you up with a biscuit, gets to be f@cking ridiculous. After a while it makes you a little jaded and disenchanted with men. You may start to look down at the ground when passing a group of men on the street, as to avoid the cattle call they do. But honestly that never works. Its almost as if for every guy you meet that you genuinely like, you'll encounter 15 lames. So sometimes when a men runs into a woman that's had her fair share of lames, her puzzle is going to be a little harder to solve and that's not always her fault. She may not smile when you pass her on the street, but that doesn't mean she isn't sweet. On a side note please stop asking women to smile when you do see them, because sometimes she may not have anything to smile about at that moment, and its not your job to inquire as to way that is. It usually just further exacerbates the situation.  It's her way for warding of lame a$$ men, hell half the time you have to be damn near like a ninja keeping these wack dudes away.

So sometimes when a girl kinda has her guard up it's not always because her ex was an a$$hole or she has daddy issues. Don't always assume its because her last breakup was worst than Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn's in "The Breakup". It might just be because the last couple of dudes she's dealt with have been lame as hell. Its hard out here for a single girl, so when she says you're different from the rest, take that to heart because she means that in the best way possible. She knows of what she speaks.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Is There A Secret To Marriage?

I have you notice that the most people who give you advice about relationships aren't married people? Well I've started to notice it, now I've already gone in on Steve Harvey's a$$ http://therottenpeach.blogspot.com/2011/01/steve-harvey-relationship-expert-im.html but this isn't really about him, Hill Harper, Tyrese or anyone else for that matter. But let me say this I'm gonna need Tyrese to go back to singing, making the fast and the furious part 27 or something because him sitting around on twitter all day telling single women what they need to do or not do. Has to stop right now, its just not cute and I'm gonna need you to go back to your day job. If anyone saw him on the Wendy William's show, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. He was sitting there on that couch just sounding really crazy.

Now let me stop talking about Tyrese and get to my point, while I was watching him on the show I had a thought, why don't married people give out relationship advice? Like seriously I never hear married people talk about relationships, famous couples or not so famous ones they don't dish out advice about relationships. The only time married people start talking about their relationships is if they're having problems other than that their lips are sealed. You don't see Will Smith or Tom Hanks writing books about relationships, Why? I think I know the answer. See married people happily married people know the secret to stay that way, which is. There is no secret except to keep your mouth shut and keep outsiders to a minimum. 

See when a couple is happy there's really no need to go around spewing out advice because they're too busy being happy or marginal happy. When advice is given out especially about relationships people want to know what makes said person an expert. What's their relationship like, how long have they been with their partner? The questions are never ending. Which is why I believe married people don't usually volunteer giving advice about relationships, a lot of the time it just starts to become too invasive. When you have people that are prying in to your personal business/relationship it muddy the waters and most of the time causes unnecessary drama inside of your relationship. So I assume its just easier for them just not to advise people about the inner workings of marriage and just let those who aren't married keep giving out advice, confusing the sh!t out of us single people. 

Monday, April 11, 2011

The Eager Beaver

I really think a lot of men talk themselves out of potential dates and sex, by saying dumb ish and taking things just a little bit to far. I like to call these men habitual line steppers, what they do is constantly over step their bounds. Bounds they shouldn't be crossing because they haven't reached that point in the relationship in which they should take such liberties and hell sometimes it's not even a relationship it's more like a happening. It's as if they take one step in the wrong direction or one step to fast and they've officially stepped their asses into the bad side, just like in Dreamgirls (stepping to the bad side, gonna take a mean ride). The bad side is a place that a man should never want to be, this is the land of sending you straight to voicemail, ignoring text messages, and they could forget about getting any.

This past weekend I had to categorize a dude as a habitual line stepper and throw him to the bad side. See he was already tittering that line of no return but I was giving him a chance to redeem himself, but of course he didn't. He just keep on stepping to the bad side. So here's a little background about him, dude hits me up on facebook and we exchanged messages for a while, eventually numbers were exchanged. We talked a couple of times on the phone and the conversations were mediocre at best but not bad enough to chuck the deuces to the whole situation. Him on the other hand, he was saying that the conversations were the best he had with a girl in a long time ( his words not mine), now in my mind I'm thinking what kind of girls was he use to talking to? I'm guessing ones that like talking about apple bottom jeans, Waka Flocka,  lemon pepper wings and whatnot, #shotsfired. Now mind you we've never met in person  before and had never made plans to do so. Thursday night he calls, leaves a voicemail, and text me, I miss all of these things but I did reply to the text and told him I was busy, he says call him when I get a chance. Well, I don't call on Thursday or Friday, I kinda forgot. Saturday night he hits me up and the convo goes like this.
Line stepper: Hey!!!!!
Me: Hey what's up?
LS: Nothing chilling on a Saturday night,  I was looking a some of your pics on Facebook, cause my bro wanted to know what you looked like,what u up to?
Me: I'm out with some friends.
LS: Oh ok have fun, matter of fact I'm bored need a drink cool if can come meet you or you good?
Me:Yeah I should've told you I was out of town, lol.
LS: Maybe next time.
Me: Yeah maybe.

Now after this exchange I was so turned off by this boy's actions. I immediately place him in the bad side land. There's so many line stepping flagrant fouls going on, where do I begin? 1) Why are you texting me at 11:30pm? I mean I know why? This is the time when booty calls are just starting to be placed. Which would be okay if we were on that level but we aren't, hell we're below sea-level at this point. 2) If you were really trying to get up, what happened to contacting me at a reasonable time? That just shows you're rude and don't have respect for my time and once again WE AREN'T ON THAT LEVEL. For you to text me at this hour and then expecting me to drop/cancel plans to chill with you, boy stop. 3) After I tell you I'm out and I won't be chilling with you as you hoped because that's way you text me at 11:30pm. You take that as a cue to interject yourself into my plans with my friends, you sir must be crazy. I don't know you, nor do my friends. So why would I want some random guy coming around me and hanging out with my friends? Lastly dude that's a little creepy that you're just going through my facebook pictures and showing them to your brother. We aren't dating, why does anybody you know need to know what I look like? Is this a form of showing off or something? My family and friends have no idea who you are, wanna know why? Because at this point you're irrelevant to my life, as Evelyn (Basketball Wives) would say, "You're a non- mufa f@cking factor". 

After all this and talking to some other people there's a lot of line stepping going on and it needs to cease and desist now. It's baffling how someone could get so comfortable with someone so fast. Its like we go one date or have one convo and its like we're dating and you're planing to take me to your family cookout and show me off. Excuse me but when did we get to that point? See I believe in steps when it comes to dating. You complete on step/level and then you move on to the next one, just like in Super Mario Brothers. You've got to go through a lot of levels before you can get to Koopa and save the princess. But it seems like dudes nowadays are trying to skip levels by trying to get cheat codes out of those video game magazines. Yeah, you may get to Koopa faster but you missed the whole point game and just took all the fun out of it. Anyway maybe I'm overacting and being overly dramatic, what do you think?

Monday, April 4, 2011

Who You Callin A B!tch

Let's face it we've all been called a b!tch at some point in ours lives, whether it was to our face or behind our backs. These words have been uttered about us, some woman or man has called us a b!tch as way to insult us, and used this word as a means to demean us.

Well, today I'll like to explore the usage of this word. When someone is called a b!tch its more than likely because said person has stood up for themselves in some fashion. They don't let people walk all over them, they are nobody's doormats, they speak up for themselves if they feel like they've been slighted. As Andre 3000 said "Yo, we take no sh#t like, like ummm, stopped up commodes".  If all these things makes a person a b!tch, well where's the sign up sheet because this is a team I want to be part of. What really kills me is that how a woman can be called a b!tch because she has a no- nonsense attitude but if a man has the same attitude he's just aggressive. Negative connotations aren't placed on men who behave in the same way as women who are seen as b!tches. Although those men are at times seen as jerks and a$$holes. Is it fair? No, but hey life isn't fair now is it.

Now there is also a big difference between being seen as a b!tch and being b!tchy. A b!tch as I've already described just doesn't take sh#t or puts up with anybody's crap. Being b!tchy on the other hand is a little different. They're kind of nags, they complain about everything, they're never satisfied, and they're really not that much fun to be around. So being a b!tch doesn't necessarily make a person b!tchy and vice versa. All I want to say is that maybe being deemed as a b!tch shouldn't be seen as such a negative thing. So the next time someone calls you a b!tch, you shouldn't be ready to go off on that person. Just tell the person that's fine I'll be a b!tch.