Great Epectations In Dating

I need my man to be tall, have a  rock hard body, white teeth, just all the way fine, smart, has a good ass job, making 6 figures, good credit, funny, can cook, and loves Jesus. 


Oh okay girl.... But meanwhile you haven't been to the gym since Girlfriends was on air, in fact you think doing the Michael Jackson dance experience once a week is all the exercise you need. You work at Bath and Body Works (which isn't to say that's a bad thing) the only thing you can burn is the bottom of the pot while making top ramen noodles and the only time you go to church is on Easter Sunday. Madame please have a seat Indian style in a corner with a snack.

How do people have a laundry list of things they want in a mate but they don't have 1/2 of those things for themselves??? What's really going on??? I understand everyone wants that ideal mate that's attractive, smart, funny blah, blah, blah. That's fine everyone wants that but they problem is everyone wants that but are you that yourself? You want someone that's in shape, okay that's cool but your ass can't even run to the mailbox. You want someone that has a banging ass personality but meanwhile you have the personality of a broomstick. I could go on but you get the point. There's a few pieces missing from this puzzle and most of those pieces your ass lost them in the first place. Question: How do you look like demanding steak, when you only have ground chuck money??? 

How can one except all of these things from their partner but aren't these things themselves? If you do run across a person with all the qualities you want, what in hell makes you think they would want to be with you?  Don't you think they would want to be with someone that has their shit together or at least 1/2 together? Why do you deserve to be dating your ideal someone, if all you're bringing to the table is MAC Lip Glass, Now n Laters, and a lukewarm personality. To be clear when I say be with I'm not talking about sleep with. Hell people will sleep with anyone their nether region likes...sleeping with someone  and being/ dating with someone are really two different things most of the time. Just because someone is blowing your back out does mean they're going to take your ass to the company picnic. When I hear people talking about what their man or woman needs to have for them to date them..... I'm so baffled my their statements. When I look at them they're not any of the things they want their mates to be. Winners want to be with winners point blank period. So if you aren't what Charlie Sheen would say "winning" than what the hell are you? Losing right? Most of these people with their high maintenance demands are just losing in life and they don't even know it. 

The thing is a lot of people that demand these upper echelon qualities don 't even know they're lacking these qualities themselves. They are steady shopping at Rainbow and Dots thinking that they're at Barney's and Bergdorf and Goodman. They have a serious problem with delusions of gander. They're the baddest bitches and the prettiest niggas and you can't tell them nothing. Why?? Because they have 2,646 followers on twitter but their avi's are titties and ass shot. Okay.... Boo. All this is to say if you want Idris Elba or Halle Berry well than sir or madame you've gotta be a little better than T-pain and Whoopi Goldberg (no shade... Well that was shade, welp oh well).