Pick Up The Phone

I have several pet peeves but today I want to talk about the one that truly makes me annoyed. Which is people who you haven’t heard from in a while that act like one the phone doesn’t work two ways and secondly they just don’t know how to say Hello in a proper manner after a significant amount of time has gone by since y'all last talked. To my first point the phone really does work two ways. If you want to talk to me just call me… I call the people I want to talk to all the time. If it wasn’t for unlimited minutes AT&T would be raping my bank account on a monthly basis. If I wanted to talk too certain people in my address book guess what? I would just simply call them but I don’t and there’s a reason for that. Either 1) I really don’t wanna talk to your ass 2) I’m too busy to talk your ass 3) I want to talk to your ass but maybe I feel like you don’t want to talk to my ass, so I avoid calling you. Its real simple folks it’s not AP calculus. I’m not calling you for one of those reasons and you my friend usually know which of those reasons as to why my name isn't showing up on your caller ID. If the reasons are unclear pick up the phone and ask me. People usually call other people for one or two reasons to pass along information (either giving or receiving it) or because that person crossed your mind and you want to see how they are doing. So if I’m or someone else isn’t calling you it’s because they don’t have any information for you and they don’t want whatever information you may have for them; or they all together are not really thinking about you enough to actually call you to see how you’re doing.    

Now to the people that actually do reach out and touch someone’s hand but do it in an ass backwards and shady ass way. Please go kick some rocks with no shoes on. What am I talking about exactly? Well these are the people that call/text/tweet/fax/smoke signals whatever form of communication they choose to use and say shit like this: “Hey long time no hear, I was about to chuck the deuces to you and our whole friendship…lol. Hey has anyone ever said you remind them of Olivia from Love and Hip and Hop (or you can insert whatever person you find to be highly annoying)”?  Now you probably haven’t spoken to this person in months and not only have they 1) annoyed the fuck out of you 2) shaded the hell out of you but they have 3) reminded you as to why y’all don’t talk anymore. This above situation has happened to me before and I always wonder what the fuck is wrong with this asshole? Then I say this is way I don’t talk to their ass. Who tells someone I’m chucking the deuces to our friendship? I tell you who does that..... people with too much time on their hands. Bitch please I been did that but I have more decorum than to tell people that; I just fade to black it's easier that way. Just because you added a LOL doesn’t mean you’re joking because we all know LOL these days just means ok or you say it when you don’t know what else to say. Now the second part of the message is what really gets me hot. What the hell do you mean I remind of this asinine character on TV? Like really what do you mean by that? Is it the way I look, act, talk, like what is it? What I’ve come to realize is that these people are doing this to get a reaction out you. See, a reaction whether its positive or negative is better than no reaction to them. No reaction indicates that you really don't give damn about their thoughts or their feelings. They throw shade just to engage you into conversation….. They think either you’re going to ignore it or just laugh it off. Well not this girl, if you throw shade at me, I’m throwing the whole window treatment back at you. Then I’m going to read you like a 2^nd grader reading Bernstein Bears books for Book-It Certificates. Don’t think saying little slick shit is the way to go about re-kindling friendships because it’s not. Especially if there’s long gaps of us not being in contact with one another because in all honestly it’s like you knew me abck then but you don’t know me now so chill.

Honorable mention goes to the “Hey stranger!!!” text now this right annoys me to no end. Do people even know the definition of stranger? If you don’t than here it is. 

Stranger (noun) 1) a person with whom one has had no personal acquaintance. 2) a newcomer in a place or locality. 3) a person who is unacquainted with or unaccustomed to something. So you get the point…. Therefore if you have my number and you’re calling me. I'm clearly not a stranger!!! So don’t come at me with that stranger bs, it’s annoying and stupid. It’s just as easy to say Hey, what’s up? But instead of taking the simple route folks stay wanting to be smartasses and jackasses….smh. Well I'm here to tell you this type of behavior isn't cool and it's definitely not cute. So stop with all this passive-aggressive behavior and just say how you really feel, damnit just say Hello it goes a lot further.