Where I've been?

Okay..... so I've been MIA for a while now so for the 3-8 people that read this blog I'm sorry for that. See I'm in the process to quitting my job and moving to another state. Where you might ask? Well how about I reveal that information when I get there. So I'll be a little preoccupied/stressed with this move and my won't be blogging as much, so forgive be in advance. But before I close this out, I just finished reading the most amazing book A Belle in Brooklyn:Your Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life  By Demetria Lucas. Do yourself a favor and read this book, it will change your perspective on dating. Like for real read it, its really good. So with that bid you adieu and I'll see you on the flip side.

Because Its Summer Time

Since its summertime and there will be a lot activities going on, such as travelling, water parks, and cookouts I will like to take some time out to go over some summertime rules.

1) Feet: Men and women PLEASE if you're going to wear open toes shoes, I encourage you to have you're feet done. Nobody wants to see you're crusty ass little monsters. I implore you to give Maylin $15 and get those things done or be hot all summer and wear Nikes with socks on. I'm not a fan of seeing men's toes, especially if they're not on a beach. But if the spirit moves you to wear sandals please have you're feet done.

2) Bring something: If you've been in invited to a cookout PLEASE bring something or at least offer to do do. Some hotdog buns, pickles, mustard, a winning personality, just something other than yourself or another mouth to feed. Also please don't bring an extra person if not asked to do so. Don't be that person at the cookout to shows up empty handed because please believe people will talk about your ass.

3) Extra food: Also if your at a cookout PLEASE don't be the person that takes enough food home to feed themselves for a whole week. Its just sooo tacky. If the host says yes please that some food home, do not load up your plate like you're saving food for the winter. No lie I was at this cookout and only one person asked if they could take some food home and the host was like cool. The host leaves for a little bit and comes back, guess what? Just about all the food is gone. How did that happen? Well some other people at the cookout saw this one person making a plate and then took it upon themselves to take the rest of the food and the tupperware it was in too. To this day that is top 5 of the most trifling things I've ever seen. Really who does that????

4) Perspiration: Look I know its hot outside, lord knows I know about it being hot. I live in hot ass Georgia but I'm sorry there's not excuse for you to be walking in the mall with pit and crock sweat stains. Maybe you can wear a fabric that's breathes more like ummm cotton, it is the fabric of our lives. Instead of wearing polyester and nylon tops from Rainbow. Carry some deodorant ,wipes or something but nobody wants to see you sweating like a porch swing monkey. Get that sh!t together.

5) Kids: People with children we know school is out but please find something constructive for your children to do other than terrorizing the neighborhood. Put them in summer camp, send them to their grandma's house, just something. I'm tried of seeing random children roaming the streets like cattle in the middle of the day, chasing the ice cream truck, or standing around at the gas station being loud for no damn reason. It's annoying and all I can think about is where are these kid's parents and why are they allowing their kids to be a menace to society.

So that's it, everybody summertime is about fun and being free. So let's all to our best to make it happen without be "that person". So what's some of your summer rules?

Thug Life Tatted On My Chest

I'm not from the hood and I have never claimed to be from the hood. Where I'm from I would more classify it as an urban black community, some may say that's the ghetto; I wouldn't go as far as that but it's definitely  " a black community". I don't remember play over needles in the street, shout out to Alicia Keys for that. There were no drive-bys in my neighborhood or people selling dope on the corner. I'm saying all this to say I'm not about that thug life! Nobody was slinging dope to keep the lights on, now writing checks and trying to catch said check before the power company cashes it or having a phone bill in my name at age 8. Then yes, I've been apart and know about that life.

But this thug life that certain rappers (coughs Rick Ross) love to portray, ummm no my life ain't about that and most people who listen to this music aren't about that sh!t either. So when you hear Young Jezzy talking about " A lifetime supply of baking soda clientele", and you're really feeling yourself. Like you know exactly what he's talking about, please sir or madame have yourself a whole banquet room full room of empty seats.  That's his life hell that's even his life anymore, he's off that sh!t and you should be too.

These little negros are walking around talking about they're putting in that "work". What work n@gga ? The only work you probably know about is homework, as it should. People nowadays seemed to obsessed with the "Thug Culture". From listening to thug ass music, getting tatted up and smoking weed all damn day. People are taking things a little to far, dudes are robbing banks with front lace wigs on their heads and knocking people over their heads for $30. Its crazy in these streets. Look people who are really about that thug life will tell you, it's really not what's up. From always being in constant fear of getting caught up in the game, to worrying about getting popped by the cops, or getting your ass shot up over some bs. It really isn't a game, its not Grand Theft Auto; it's real sh!t and real sh!t has real consequences. Please believe most of those people living this so called "thug life" would rather have your regular ass job or be going to your regular ass college campus.

Is Having A Baby With Someone The New Form Of Marriage?

 I kind of touched upon the fact that Lauryn Hill is pregnant with her 6th kid, and to that I say wowers..... really in 2011 people are still trying to form their own  version of the Jackson clan? I guess whatever floats your boat. Well apparently she's having her 6th child with the father of her other 5 kids with one of the Marley boys. Who is also apparently denying that the baby is his, but then retracted that statement, this is all getting a little to All My Children for my liking. Anywho, Lauryn isn't married to this man and word on the street is that he's still married to he's other children's baby mama but that's another post for another day.

What I wanna talk about is that this woman Lauryn Mfing Hill has laid down and had 5 kids with this man and is about to have the 6th one and she's just as single as a dollar bill. As my Grandma says, "if you ain't married you're single according to the government ". See there's no box to check on your 1040 form that says, I've been with this negro for 8+ years and have 3.5 of his children . No ma'ma there's no such thing. Look I may not be the biggest advocate for the institution of marriage in my own personal life, I kinda live by the motto "everything ain't for everybody". That includes marriage too, but what I've been noticing lately is this trend of having 2+ babies with someone and yall ain't married. Hell marriage is so out of the picture for the two of you, that people don't even ask if yall are getting married anymore. Kinda like nobody asks about a Fugees reunion, why? Because that ish is never gonna happen, much like these girls and marriage. I just can't get down with having and bunch of babies with someone and not marrying their ass.

Yall are living together, raising kids together, splitting bills together, arguing together and everything else under the sun together but yall ain't married? Oh hell no!!! This ish right is just f#cking ridiculous. How are yall up at your child's school for a parent teacher conference and the teacher is calling yall Mr. Williams and Ms. Jones, that shit don't even sound right or okay. Look yall aren't Oprah and Stedman  or Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn, you guys aren't in Hollywood or about that Hollywood life. Yall are Keith and Maya living in a 3 bedroom apartment in Marrietta, Ga, eating hamburger helper, and trying not to fall asleep before First 48, that's your life. Which is cool, those people in Hollywood can afford to not to get marriage, you my dear cannot.

See what really confuses me are the people who say sh!t like, " I'm just not sure marriage is right for us". But then yall have 6 kids together!!!! Sh!t which one is the bigger commitment? How is someone good enough to have multiple kids with but not good enough to marry? This doesn't make any sense to me. People get divorced everyday, you sign those papers and keep it moving, hell you may never have to see that person again. If yall don't have kids together. But no people are out here playing house. Those aren't dolls you're playing with, they're real children and you can't throw them away when you're done playing house.

For those that say its just a piece of paper or we "spiritually married" like Lauryn Hill has said in the past, that my significant other and God knows my heart, you sir/madame get a O_o. Please get all the way up out there with that bs. That maybe truth in your crazy ass mind and heart, but guess who doesn't know your heart? Your kids, your florist, your mama and just about everybody you know but you know who especially doesn't know your heart? The IRS, social security, he/she retirement fund, and 401K. If your pattern ups and gets hit by a bus and there's no will in place or you're not on he/she's life insurance policies and he/she's mama and them are the beneficiaries. Good luck with using that heart of yours to prove yall were married in court. Just be smart about major life decisions, having 10+ kids with the same man and no ring insight like the damn Lakers this year, is just bad for business.

The Beyonce Army

I'm sure that many of you've seen the "We run the world (girls) " video already, and in true Beyonce fashion was another hot one. Now I will admit that I wasn't totally there with Bey when I first heard the song and apparently a lot of people felt the same way. Since Kelly Rowland's new song Motivation is number one and well this girls song isn't quite number one . On a side-note I really love Kelly's song , could this be the spark she needs to light that fire? Idk but I think she's on the right track with this, let's send the prayer warriors up so that she won't lose her way. Okay so back to Bey, like I said when I first heard the song I really wasn't really feeling it. Its kinda like when you go to a restaurant that everybody raves about, but you just think the food was alright.

Then a couple of weeks ago the video premiered on American Idol, btw I didn't know they were only going to showing 2 minutes and 4 seconds of the damn video. I was getting all into the video and then it just cut off, I was so pissed I wanted to throw my wine glass at Ryan Seacrest. Then I was informed by a friend to go to Beyonce's website and watch the rest of the video. So after all that confusion, I watched the video three times in a row and attempted to do the dance moves ( that was an absolute fail). I knew that the Beyonce army would arise and match this song to the number one spot and take over the airwaves. Also this song goes hard in the mFing paint when you're in the club or wherever you frequent to get water-down drinks and have musty ass dudes push up on you, 3-4 drinks into your night when this song  comes on, watch what happens its almost like magic.

See this is what Bey does best, she has a way of drawing you into her army. You may not be a sergeant but damnit she will at least make you a foot solider. There are a few Beyonce singles that I just didn't gravitate to at first, like deja vu. I just wasn't feeling that song at first but after I heard it a million times of the radio and saw the video. There my ass was at Target when B-day dropped buying her album. This is how she differs from other artist, she will make you pay attention to her. Where its consciously or subconsciously. If somebody told me that Keri Hilson had a new song out, I wouldn't give a damn about it. I might have to hear it on the radio one day, think it was cute and then download that one song. Now you tell me Beyonce has got a new song out, I'm searching for that thing like Ciara is searching for a record deal. Its like you're going to pay attention to Bey whether you like it or not. Either because you'll hear her music everytime you get in your car or because she'll be performing on everything from Sesame Street to Jay Leno. Because when Bey comes out pushing a new album, she comes with the force of a hurricane. Her army is equipped with brand spanking new lace front wigs and is ready to stab the competition in the neck with Alexander McQueen stilettos. So you either step aside or be destroyed, ask Ciara, Keri Hilson, Letoya Luckett or whoever the hell else. This army is not to be fux with.

Old Men

As the title of this post shows I just can't do old men..... like at all. Notice I said old men, not older men. I could date a man 5-7 years older than me, that's no problem. But when the age difference starts getting to be 10 -15 years, ummmm that's just a problem and will continue to be a problem. What exactly is the problem? Well, let me expand upon it.

If someone is 10 or more years older than you, there's going to be somethings the two of you just won't understand about each other, there's gonna be some type of generational gap. I remember being at the club one time, and these two guys come up to me and my friend. Things were cool until the song "poison" came on and one of the dudes said to the other guy and us, "remember dancing to this song at prom, when this song first came out." I'm thinking WTF, I guess this reflected on my face and one of the guys asked what was with the look on my face? I told him that I believed that I was in first grade when that song came out. He says, "oh age ain't nothing but a number, so can I get your number."  I politely replied, " yes, you're right age is just a number but unfortunately your age is the wrong number for me." Look older men just kinda unnerve me. The ones I've come across either 1) want to play the daddy role. I'm sorry but I have a real dad and a step dad, I don't need no more father figures. No lectures when I do something you don't like, no questions about where I've been, just no all around handcuffing. A lot of older men love to take on that, "daddy role" when they get with younger women, because nine times out of ten he has children your age and that's how he deals with them. Well, that ish isn't going work over here because I'm not your child.

Another thing you may have to worry about is the dude in the middle or on the onset of a mid-life crisis. I just rather not be apart of that journey. Its hard enough sometimes dealing with a dude under the best circumstances but dealing with a dude that's about to get his Steve Martin on is just more than I'm willing to handle. You remember in Father of The Bride II, when Steve Martin dyed his hair brown, brought a corvette (or whatever car that was), and then sold the family house without telling his wife. See this kind of behavior I just can't deal or maybe I'm not ready to deal with it. I met a guy kind of recently going through a similar situation. He was like 40 something and was telling me how he just recently called off his engagement and was selling his house, then he was going to move to a condo downtown. Now these things may seem harmless, and that he just needed a change. Okay, but let me elaborate this condo he was moving to was about a step-up from the dorms, full of recent grads and whatnot. Plus this man has two kids, he told me he was done raising his kids. His children were 15 and 17 I believe, WTF!!! How are you going to move into a one bedroom condo, when you have two teenage children? Maybe he thought his actions were cute but to the contrary I found them to be outrageous and irresponsible, and I can't deal with an irresponsible man.

Men of a certain age most of the time have gone through a lot things that women 10-20 years their juniors haven't experienced. Things like marriage, children, and divorce. Some of these things, some of us have never experienced and that kind of puts us at a disadvantage. Sometimes its better to travel a road without really knowing your way, than with a guide that's already travelled it. You may need to get lost and loose your way a little, so that you find it and never go down that path again. As they say experience is the best teacher.

The Love You Never Had

Disclaimer: I'm sorry I've been MIA last week was my birthday and I was doing birthday things, so on to the lecture at hand.


I have you ever known or been a person that always looks fondly upon someone and the encounter you guys had. Like the magically summer you spent with the boy down the street or those two great months you spent dating a guy until you realized he had a girlfriend or whatever caused you guys to stop talking. You run this continuous loop of what you guys did and what you guys had. It gets to the point that you start to idealize the situation between the two of you and start to compare everything else you have after it, to what the two of you had. You think that what you had with him has just magical, electric, and some once in a lifetime type of ish. It was just everything!

Well, I'm here to tell you it probably wasn't that great, I'm not trying to diminish what transpired between the two of you. But if it was the best thing since sliced bread, than why didn't it last? Before you stay something like well I moved or he was shipped off to war. The thing is sometimes we have a tendency to make something grander than what it really was because it basically ended before it really even started. It ended before you really got to know that person and vice versa. Things were awesome between the two of you and maybe there was some type of connection between the two of you. Everything was peachy keen because maybe things ended before your sugar turned to sh!t. Therefore basing every other relationship after this "perfect love", is kinda silly because maybe it was never love in the first place.