Well that ain't me and has been me in a long time, my experience is more like this video. Daria....., sigh this is my dating life. Going through life and various experiences and just being generally unmoved by the whole thing. Look this b!tch is reading the newspaper at a basketball game, she refuses to get involved at all and that's how I feel 98% of the time when it comes to dating. I just don't emotionally invest in dating and dealing with dudes, I'm romantically tapped out. Do I get emotional (no Carl Thomas)? Yes, I get upset and pissed off all the damn time. I'm invested in the things I care about like my family, friends and my career. But when it comes to dating I'm chilling like Daria. I'm more likely to get upset that Glee didn't come on because of the World Series or they effed up my coffee order at Starbucks, than if some guy didn't call back like he said he would. Look at Rhianna in the video she's in the middle of nowhere in a mud-pit with her boyfriend. I rather not, well at least not with any man I've dated or I'm currently dating. I'm there if that's where my friends are, otherwise you're going to have to count me out. Anyhoo, even when I'm talking to a guy or on a date with one, I'm thinking about other things. Like I'm wondering if the new issue of Harper Bazaar came in the mail or why Jennifer Lopez thinks we believe she's driving around in the Bronx in a Fiat... girl bye. Okay, I'm digressing again. I shouldn't be thinking about those things, should be trying to get to know this person, right? But at last that doesn't happen. Lately I can't muster up the energy to actively participate in dating and it most definitely takes two people to date, I'm just out there half assing it. I'm doing things like meeting guys, grabbing their attention (which I actually enjoy) and then once they want my number or to go out I turn into Daria. Once they want more from me than what's number and my sign, I'm like no thanks. I'm out here catching and releasing dudes. I feel like dating just takes too much energy and I'm so about the 20% energy iPhone life right now. I just can't seem to put forth that much effort right now. I rather have a smooth seat somewhere, watch Head of the Class and go drinking with my friends. Than to sit in some restaurant and listen to some man talking about why The Blueprint was Jay-z's best album or whatever the f*ck. I don't feel like telling some man about why I didn't go to a HBCU or the story of my life, in short I guess I don't feel like dating. Well, I at least don't feel like doing the initial stages of dating and you have to go through that part to get to the relationship part.
I'm not exactly sure what my problem is or if this is even a problem (it probably is). I'm not sure when this happened or how to change this behavior. Maybe I've met one too many bamas and they've left me disenchanted and jaded. Then again maybe I've allowed myself to feel this way. I keep thinking that a Michael Ealy look-alike is going to show up and shake me to my core. I know that's pretty much never gonna happen because that's not real life, but a girl can dream, right? Maybe this is a phase or maybe it isn't. All I know is that I just can't participate in all the fuckery that goes on in dating right now. I'm a firm believer in showing up and showing out and putting your best foot forth, but nowadays I'm showing up unprepared and just not giving a f*ck. Oh, so and so didn't call back or his trippin'. It's cool I'm going to eat wings and drink bud lights with my friends and have fun. That's where my head is at and that just isn't my style when I'm in regular mode. The last couple of guys I've dealt with said they couldn't get a good read on me, that I was very nonchalant and unbothered about our situation. They were exactly right, I couldn't put it better than that. That's how I felt about them and about dating in general. So I think I'm just cool out on the sidelines and drink a Hi-C juice box and let y'all have at this game of dating for awhile because I'm being very much like Lebron in the 4th quarter.... just non-existent.
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