Friends With Benefits

Let’s talk about SEX baby….. okay well let’s talk about friends with benefits (FWB). I was actually watching the movie FWB the other day, it’s not a horrible movie but it’s no Dirty Dancing either. I just wish Justin Timberlake would just drop another album and stop making this mediocre romantic comedies, dude you ain’t the second coming of Richard Gere. Just stick with music, tell me FutureSex/LoveSounds doesn’t blow any R&B album that dropped this year out of the water? Anyway if you haven’t seen the movie spoiler alert: Justin Timberlake’s character (Dylan) meets Mila Kunis’s character (Jamie) they become friends, then one night after both being fed up with dating and horny as fuck. They decided to have sex and become FWBs, this goes on for a couple of weeks then Jamie catches feelings. Dylan doesn’t return these feelings in the appropriate manner, they break-up well they stop being friends. Dylan doesn’t understand why Jamie is so mad at him after all they were just FWBs, and then Dylan realizes that he has feelings for Jamie too. He does his version of the boom box in the rain/ grand gesture, they make up and go on a first date and live happily ever, the end.

People don’t try this shit at home because this has a 0.5% chance of it working in real life. I’m not for or against FWBs but I will say if this is the route you decide to go please proceed with caution. Just always keep in mind that it’s a sex thing not a love thing and those are two very different things. You don’t go into a FWB situation looking to get a boyfriend or a girlfriend out of it, or some type of earth-shattering relationship. The only thing you should be looking to get is a damn nut and maybe some good conversation and that’s at folks. You can’t go into FWB thing or just a sex thing, thinking I’m gonna pop this p***y so good for him and give him porn star level head. That he’s gonna be begging me to be his girl. Or I’m long stroke that p***y so  good and make her flood the bed like breached levees in New Orleans, that she’s need me to be her man. This is fool’s logic going on right here and it’s probably gonna give you an extended stay pass at Heart-Break Hotel. You can’t fuck your way into someone’s heart!!!! Mind yeah sure but heart, absolutely not!!  I don’t care if you think you have that Kim K or Amber Rose p***y and it’s made of glitter and gold or you think you have that Lil’Wayne ( he does have like 12 kids and he looks like a Gremlin, it must be something) or Chris Brown dick (You’ve seen the pics, right?) If that person wants to be with you, they’ll be with you point blank period. It doesn’t matter if that p***y is clean or your dick is mean. So if you go into a FWB situation thinking you’re going to come up looking like Kate Middleton and Prince William, you’re living in a fool’s paradise. You better sit back and just enjoy the ride, literally.

Now there are a few cases where the two people in the FWB situation do luck up and end up like the characters in the FWB movie but chances of that happening are minuscule. Like honestly there’s a better chance of Dr. Dre releasing Detox this year before that happens and his ass has been trying to drop Detox since College Dropout came out…. So wait on that if you want to. The chances are very low but hey never say never. So when FWB situations turn into real relationships, I believe they happen organically. One or both parties didn’t go into the situation looking for more than good back blowing sessions but somehow along the way they actually realized they liked one another outside of the bedroom. They didn’t use their bedroom skills to lure the other person into bf/gf status, the shit just happened that way. These cases do happened but are very rare.

To be very frank most of the time the person you’re in sex thing situation doesn’t even think you’re worthy of bf/gf privileges, hence why you aren’t they’re bf/gf. They’re not blind, emotional detached, or so caught up in their own shit that they can’t see a good thing in front of them…..they see what’s in front of them and all they’re there for is your sex. They may very well not like your ass like that. Did you ever think about that possibility, they just like having sex with you. You just maybe a jumpoff to them or just a friend they happen to like having sex with, end of story. You may be a very good friend to them but they just don’t see it for you as a bf/gf. Sometimes sex is just sex nothing more nothing less, so if you’re a person that can’t handle that well your ass isn’t equipped to be in a FWB situation. So you should just keep your Love Jones ass away from all types of FWB possibilities, you’re not built for that type of life and that’s okay. You know what they say everything ain’t for everybody.