You Can Blame It On Me

I wasn’t expecting him to get down on bended knee a la Boyz II Men or anything but I was expecting him to acknowledge he was being a totally asshole. Just saying something like “my bad” would’ve been enough but no even that was too much for him. Instead of he tried to sweep it under the rug by saying giving me some flimsy excuse and I’m quoting “ I don't like that whole acting like someone you’re not, people should just be easy.” WHAT THE FUCK?? First let’s address the be easy aspect of this statement. What does that even mean? When T.I. said Be Easy off his classic Trap Muzik album, I took Be Easy to mean you better chill the fuck out before someone tries to knock your head off. So what is this dude talking about people should be easy?? I’m confused….. what people should Be Easy? Me? I was being easy because I seriously could have pulled a Beyonce and ringed the alarm or gone terror threat level red on his ass. Instead I was easy like a Sunday morning. The only person that should have been easy that night was his ass.

The part of the above statement that really took me for a loop was the acting like someone you’re not apart. So, by him being a totally dick and a sloppy ass drunk that was the real him, right? If that’s the case honyechile he can keep the real him to his damn self. There’s no way you can take last Friday’s night’s events and he doesn’t come off as being a totally ass. So by him saying people shouldn’t act like something they aren’t, he’s saying his behavior wasn’t a one time thing or totally out of character for him. He’s a jackass and he makes no apologies for it.  Which is fine for him I guess but on that particular night I didn’t go to that bar for all that. I wasn’t expecting him to have the manners of Prince William but I didn’t think untrained dogs would be better behaved than him. For this grown ass man to sit up there and act like a buffoon and then turn around and say “hey, I was just being the real me”. Well, sir I see no problem with me tossing your ass like a banana peel into the trash because honestly at this point that’s how I view him like trash, the day after Christmas trash at that.

So what happens to trash? Well shit it gets trashed and thrown away to a place far away. That’s exactly where I have banished him to a place far away. This guy thinks because he brought me a drink and told me he likes me he gets a steady place on my roaster of men. Well, sir I’m here to tell you that is absolutely not the case. Please get the fuck out of here with that. Especially since you showed your ass first and now that I’m not returning calls and text messages, I’m the asshole. To that I say GOOD DAY and GOOD NIGHT. In my *Cher from Clueless voice* AS IF, I just want him to snatch his life back from wherever the fuck he left it. The dude told me, people should be who they really are from the beginning right? Well damnit I didn’t like that person so decided to abort mission but I’m the asshole. Okay well you can blame it on me if that makes you feel better. At the end of the day he’s still an asshole and I’m over dating assholes. So I guess that’s that folks.