Lauryn Hill: A Timeout Is Needed

Lauryn Noelle Hill girl a discussion needs to happen, we need to have a seat, take a knee, a timeout, or something girl because this shit has gotten fucking ridiculous. First let's talk about your Uncle Sam/tax issues, here's a link to those that aren't familiar with the situation Lauryn Hill doesn't want to pay taxes. Our friend and former leader of revolution (what this revolution is all about, I'm not exactly sure) hasn't paid her taxes in like three years O_o..... why? Well according to her, she withdrew from society because of a variety of reasons. The injustices of the world, her children, the depleting ozone layer, the rent is too damn high, whatever the fuck homegirl decided to go underground. Since she was underground and not a "functioning" member of society she should be excused from paying taxes. She explained all this to the IRS but they weren't buying that shit she was selling. She has a court date at the end of the month and faces a $100,000 fine and one year in jail.....so there's that.  Let's get one thing straight this is the United States of America... everybody pays taxes that works in this country. Idk what they do in whatever world; this chicks mind is a resident in but in this country if you collect a check taxes must be paid. Girl you know this!!! Don't act like this is some new shit because its not, if the President pays taxes what the hell makes you think you don't have to? You can go underground, take the underground railroad to Kalamazoo, and then go under the sea like Ariel but if you collect any type of check you MUST pay taxes. You weren't too withdrawn from society to pop up at random concerts dressed like a hobo, and give people a few lines of Killing Me Softly and Ready or Not. You got checks for that.... did you not think taxes should be taken out? The IRS isn't here for your excuses of withdrawing from society, they are here for their money that's it. You don't pay you will go to jail, do not collect $200 or pass go. Think I'm wrong well ask Wesley Snipes, he knows all about it. Hey maybe y'all can be jail pen pals and y'all can work on writing Blade 24.87 or Murder at Cellblock 1700 because that's what happens to people that don't pay taxes for whatever reasons. This Marley penis must be a Killer.... because she has clearly lost it with this one.

Speaking of Marley penises..... Lauryn's baby daddy Rohan Marley recently got engaged to Isabeli Bergossi Fontana, notice I didn't say Lauryn Noelle Hill. The man she's been with since about 1996 and has five kids with (its not clear if the sixth kid is his child), they have called each other spiritual husband and wife for years but that means absolutely nothing at the end of the day. Just like her "I withdrew from society", so no taxes for me explanation means shit. Look I don't know the particulars of Lauryn and Marley's relationship but for you to be with someone for over 10 years and have 5-6 kids together and the other party ups and gets engaged to another person, it makes one wonder. WTH?? Now some people were outraged, saying how could Rohan do this to Lauryn she gave up here career for him and this is how he re-pays her? I do believe that these people are reaching for stars and stripes with such statements. The reality is no one knows what happened between them. Lauryn may have broken up with him, maybe that last kid is someone else's and Rohan didn't want to raise someone else's kid, who the fuck knows. I do know this though Rohn is probably not the reason why The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill 2 has never dropped. That burden is carried by Ms. Hill only..... why did she turn her back on the music industry? Her kids, the pressures of fame, the anxiety of creating another classic, her dreads wouldn't grew any longer. The real reasons will probably never really be known. I just don't think placing blame at Rohan's feet as to why one of the greatest female artist this generation has seen decided to become the phantom of Hip-Hop is fair. 


Just as I think getting all pissed off that this man decided to get married to someone else is a little hasty. I mean I get it Lauryn has with him for years and five kids with him, so I guess logically she should be marrying him... she put in all the work but didn't reap the reward. But has anyone thought about it this way, she did all that but still came up short, why? How come this man didn't want to marry this woman after all that? The only thing I can come up with is because he didn't want to. Maybe the saying is right why buy the cow when you get the milk free rings true in this case. Is that what happened between these two or may be not or may be not? All I know is that I hope Lauryn can get back to being L-Boggie and get her mind right. Come out with some new music and not that Unplugged shit she was trying it with a few years back, because that she can keep. So until then Lauryn pay you taxes, stay out of Jail... girl you have 6 kids get it together, I'm gonna go listen to Lost One's and hope for the best. 

The Questions Existing

If you don’t like your job, maybe you should quit stop being a bitch and love yourself. ~ Jaguar Wright

This song came on my iPod the other day, and it has been stuck in my head ever since. Like for real this is exactly how I’ve been feeling at work for the past month or so. I just want to quit and not leave on amicable terms either. Like I want to do this Dave Chappelle style, so why do I want to walk off my job giving everyone the finger? Well I’ll give you a few reasons.

1)      The pay- Let’s just say I’m able to pay my bills and that’s just about it. I did my taxes last month and actually saw the amount of money I made last year and all I could say was “Cole world” in my J.Cole voice. I’ve been working my ass off for pennies, hell fuck that for shillings and pence.

2)      My co-workers- Man listen at this point the sheer sound of one of my coworker’s voice in the morning just makes me want to slap her. I honestly can say that I absolutely and completely can stand half the people I work with. Like I know I go around with that I don’t give a fuck and don't say shit to me face (unless its work related). I definitely don’t look mean but I do look tried and unmoved by anything that’s going on at work. The other day one of the few people I like at work, made this comment to me. “This place is so boring and everyone is always trying to get into everyone’s business.” My reply “It’s boring because these people are boring and they have no real excitement in their lives outside of work.” Shawty that ain’t me; I’m not saying that my life is a P. Diddy Fourth of July party in the Hamptons but damn these folks act like they’re living the lives like the Golden Girls without all the fun shenanigans. I’m sorry but I don’t come to work to get my life, I come to work to get a check.  

3)      Overall lack of interest- When I started this job at this Fortune 500 Company, I was like yes I have arrived. I thought I would learn so much and that my talents would definitely be appreciated and my knowledge would expand vastly.Welp, like LeBron when he took his talents to South Beach I thought he was moving on up to the eastside. This shit ain’t what it appeared to be, like the Miami Heat this was/is a mind-fuck and on the brink of self-destruction. I mean have I learned some things? Yes, but the most important thing I may have learned is, maybe this isn't exact way I want my career path to go. Can I yes myself doing this for other 20-30? Absolutely FUCKING NOT!!!!

So my question is where do you go when you realize that you don’t like your job, hell you may not even like the career you’ve chosen for yourself. I mean we all have bills, mine are multiplying. So just quitting without another job or some other type of income would be just foolish. My body isn't stripper ready..... so that's out. So seriously what do you do? Jesus fix it.

Horrible Co-Workers

What do you do when you can’t stand your co-worker? I’m sure everyone reading this at one point in time could not stand one of their co-workers! Maybe you’ve going through this now or maybe you’ve been through it in the past. I think it’s just one of those things that everyone goes through, like having a cold. Everyone at some point gets one no matter how much you try to avoid it. No matter how much vitamin C you take at some point in your life that cold is gonna happen, and that’s  what that co-worker is to you a nasty ass cold.

When I say you  can’t stand a co-worker I mean it’s to the point that you want to take boxing classes, so if the occasion ever arises you can Floyd Mayweather their ass in the parking lot. The thing is there are different kinds of annoying co-workers.

1)      The nosey ass co-worker- Cue Adele’s Rumor has it. This is the one co-worker that can’t keep their mouth shut. They’re also in some office drama, telling everyone’s business and trying to get in everyone’s business. When you choice not to tell this person any of your personal business, you’re stuck-up or a snob. Chile please this is work not a sleepover where we’re playing truth or dare. My theory is that these people have no lives outside of work. Work is their lives. Well I’m here to say I have a life outside of the workplace and that doesn’t include work people. I’m here to work and collect a check, not to make friends this is not the playground. I have friends outside of work and if I happen to make some a work cool if not that’s fine too; I’m not here for that.

2)      The micro-manger- This person looks over your shoulder every chance they get to see if you’re doing the job right. To this person please go kill yourself. The funny thing is most of the time this person isn’t even your boss but they are so steam pressed to see what the hell you’re up to that they seem like your boss. Always looking to see what you’re doing on your computer, always asking why you’re always on your phone, seeing what time you go and come back from lunch. It’s just ridiculous!!! This ain’t school and you’re not the principle and this ain’t jail (although it may feel like it) and you ain’t the warrant. Look if an employee has never given you or anyone else a problem and always does his/her work, then why the need to constantly check up on them??  It’s childish and just creates a stressful work environment.

3)      The Bitch- This person is never pleasant, something is always wrong, and just always in a shitty ass mood. They may yell at people in the office or they may walk around like they have an Icebox where their hearts use to be. They are as cold as the other side of the pillow. Nobody ever wants to work with them or even be around them for long periods of time. But you also have to watch out of the other kind of bitch. The Undercover bitch, they’re almost like a backstabber. You know smile in your face, then turn around and try to take your place. They’re never a blatant and out-right bitch. They just do little slick shit like ignore you emails about work stuff, say good morning to everyone in the building expect you, just little shit. These are the bitch I can’t stand the most. I rather know your angle then you try to conceal it. They are like snakes in tall grass. So if you work with people like this keep your lawn mowed because they will try it. Also I think these people need to get laid like on a regular dicking schedule or something. Look at Mary Poppins and Chi-Chi bang, bang because no one should be that miserable.

The best way I’ve learned to deal with horrible co-workers with horrible people in general is to ignore them. I mean I only talk to my shitty co-worker if its work related and that’s it. Although at first I was knocking back the $3 wine from Trader’s Joes like it was water, well I still do that but that’s not the point. Ignore their ass that’s the best advice I have. Don’t try to figure out why they’re that way or what their problem is. Don’t try to be their friend, its work not The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants.  It’s not your problem to solve you just work with them. You’re not their spouse, child, or clergy man. So ignore them give them that fake smile you give the guy when he’s making your sandwich at Subway and keep that shit moving.

The Intern

I was at work the other day and a thought popped in my head, "Man..... I should've done an internship". In some majors internships are required , well in my it wasn't. We just had to do a huge research project. Anyway, I think if I would have done an internship my life would be hella different right now. An internship would have provided me the necessary tools to decide if what I'm currently doing is what I should be doing. I know I wouldn't have change my major but maybe I would have  changed my focus.


See I actually had the chance to do an internship while I was in school, but I turned it down because it was in Minneapolis, MN (to damn far and to damn cold) it would have put me a semester behind, and I was far more interested in getting drunk with my friends at parties. Hence, I wouldn't have graduated on time and I was all about getting the f*ck out of school on time. So I turned it down, and boy was that a mistake.  If I was the person I am now I would have taken that internship in a heartbeat. Why? Because I it was relevant work experience and maybe I wouldn't be in the position I'm in now, which is trying to figure sh!t out. I could have done that internship and saved myself a lot of time.  Unfortunately, I don't have a Delorean and I can't go back to the future. All I can do is push forward and do my best and hope/pray for the best. So if your ever offered a chance to internship somewhere and its in your career field, just do it like Nike. Where its paid or unpaid just do it. This is a chance to figure out if this job/career is what you really want to be doing with your life. I know a person that always wanted to be a lawyer, from the time we were in middle school they know they wanted to be a lawyer. They went to college got degree, took they're LSATs, went to law school, graduate, pass the bar, got a job at a firm and guess what now? They hate being a lawyer now, they absolutely hate going to work, now that's a damn shame. This person is talking about wanting to quit their job and go be an organic farmer O_o. Well that's what they're passionat about being the farmer and the dell and maybe if they had done an internship, they would've figured that out years ago and before they spent thousands of dollars on law school. But hey you live and you learn.

Career Moves

So for the 8.23 people that have been reading this blog for the past couple if months. You may have noticed that 1) I moved to Chicago this summer and 2) I have been unemployed since moving to Chicago.  Well I'm pleased to announce I'm no longer unemployed, yes that's right good people I started my new job this week. So I've been shouting to heavens like Tyler the Creator's mama did when he want that VMA (it was just a VMA lady not a Grammy, so chillax). This job isn't necessarily my dream job but its definitely closer to what I would like to be doing than my last job was. Plus the job is at what I consider to be my dream company, so who knows maybe I'll get to my dream job one of these days. One of the reasons I moved to Chicago was do something more related to my major and what I really want to be doing with my life. Basically I came up here to try to have a career and not just have a job, there's a big ass difference between the two.


While I was driving back from my new job today a few things came to my mind. First, I have been out of work too long, my ass was tried as hell when I got home. This ish is gonna take some getting use to again. Secondly, starting a new job is like being the new kid in school but slightly better because you get paid to be there. Really, think about... you have to deal with coworkers and bosses. What if they don't like me? What if I don't like them? Will I fit in? All these damn questions run through your head. I usually just stick to the motto of doing my work and shutting the f*ck up. That way you stay out of mess and there's always mess at any workplace. I'm friendly but I'm not there to make friends, I have friends and plenty of them at home. If I happen to make friends at work, cool but I'm not seeking them out. This ain't homeroom or the lunchroom and I ain't here for that. We don't have to shoot the sh!t together. Thirdly, the work looks like its going to be a lot and difficult at times and what if I won't be able to handle it? What if all the sh!t I learned in college was for nothing? What if I forgot about all that stuff, like Ciara forgets she had a music career. My head is hurting just thinking about it. The last think that crossed my mind was, what if I don't like this job? The job that will eventually lead to the career I've always wanted, the career I spent four years in college trying to build up to. What if I hate that sh!t? Then what? Go back school and focus on something else? Chile... the thought of this not working out just makes me want to slap somebody. Well, I hopefully that won't be the case and I really enjoy what I'm doing and if not there's always grad school. I can be like Lynn from Girlfriends and have 4 masters degrees and 2 PhDs and no damn job. But that may not work either because as the great queen mother Kanye West said, those degrees won't keep you warm at night. He's ass is definitely right about that, so this better work out.