I was watching one of the greatest movies ever this past weekend House Party. No, I really love this movie!!! Play was like my first crush, I’m not sure why people were so much Kid’s nut-sack? I think it had something to do with the fact that he was light-skin and that ish was very much in style back then, but moving along. The first House Partymovie was most definitely the best one, two was pretty good and three was….. well you can be the judge on that. House Party was a great movie because it showed us how a real house party should be done and what sometimes can go down having a house party at one’s house. So here’s a couple of things that need to take place for one’s house party to be poppin’.
1) You need a DJ or a bangin’ ass playlist: In the movie Bilal (Martin Lawrence) was the DJ and he kept the music going all night long no Lionel Richie. He knew when to play a fast song and when to throw on a slow one. It’s about timing people. Sidenote:Remember the part in the movie when old boy keep on knocking the DJ table and Bilal was about to kick his ass, hilarious. There was no dead air going on and that’s definitely how things should be. If you don’t want, can’t afford, or have no space for a DJ to setup. Please make sure you make a playlist in advance and of songs people actually want to hear. Look nothing is worse than Meek Mills I’m a boss playing and the next song that comes on is Katy Perry’s Teenage Dream (I love that song). The two don’t go together, there’s no way for those two songs to together, so please don’t try it. Also please use your iPod and not your damn phone as your musical device. There’s also nothing worse than having the music stop every time you get a phone call that is an epic fail on so many levels.
2) Food and Beverage: Look tell people if food and drinks are going to be provided or not. If it’s a BYOB tell somebody before the liquor store closes. If no food is going to be there tell people. So they can eat before they get there, don’t have a sh!t load of alcohol and have folks drinking on an empty stomach. That’s a recipe for a perfect storm in your bathroom. Also going to a dry ass party isn’t what’s hot on the streets, people will leave if the libations aren’t flowing, I’m just saying.
3) Gender Roles: I hate when I show up at someone’s house party and it’s a damn egg salad party (the equivalent of a sausage party for females) that sh!t sucks. If I wanted to hang out with girls I would have called my girlfriends to come over to my place and we would have exhaled. If you have a party with nothing but people of the same sex there, the people of the opposite sex will leave. I didn’t leave my house to hang out with a bunch of girls I don’t know and 9 times out of 10 I’m not trying to get to know. This isn’t the first day of 7th grade and I’m trying to make new friends at a new school. I came here to drink, dance, and flirt with boys and I’m sure dudes feel the same way too.
Now here’s a list of things that’s going to happen if you throw a house party:
1) Something in your house is going to break or go missing: Just like in the movie and Play’s toilet got broken. It’s going to happen and that’s just the way it is. Somebody is going break a dish, clog up your sink, or maybe do a f*ck your couch n*gga a la Rick James. Also something is going to come up missing .Your china, broom, Martin DVDs, or money. Something isn’t going to be as it was before you threw a party. Be prepared. So… hide yo kids, hide yo wife and hide yo husband cuz’ they rapin e’rybody out here.
2) Drunkenness: If there’s liquor at your party somebody is going to get Gucci Mane wasted. There’s always that one person that doesn’t know there limit (hate this person, get your sh!t together). They will act a fool and do some dumb sh!t. Just like in the movie, that Mike Tyson looking dude got drunk and his big ass fell out on the floor, SMH. So yeah it’s going to happen hopefully they’ll get their drunk ass home before the alcohol takes them to a whole other level. Like passed out in a pool of vomit on your bathroom floor level. I have seen it happen and please don’t be that person people, will talk about you.
3) Somebody is going to try to shut that sh!t down: The hate of having a bangin ass house party is unbelievable. In the movie Play not only had one but two people try to shut that shit down, like the number 8 song on Drake’s Thank me later album. The hatin’ ass neighbors (John Witherspoon) called the police multiple times, but then again I think that party was like on a Wednesday night. So if you live in Wisteria Lane type of place throwing a party on a random weeknight isn’t going to work. Also those Jheri-curl husky ass boys (Full Force) didn’t get invited and wanted to shut the party down because they were hatin’. So beware of those that didn’t get the invite, they may try to burn your house down.
So there we have it people, what’s your thoughts about having or going to a house party?
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