Fashion Wars

Look I know my flare for fashion can be a little out there at times for some. Especially my Mom she just doesn’t understand the way I dress at times, she says I’ve always a Punky Brewster style to me even as a child. I mention this because this past weekend while out on a mildly horrendous date (that’s another post within itself), my fashion sense was questioned and put on blast.

First let me try to set the scene of the place where this happened. I was a bar/lounge in not the nicest side of town. The place was somewhat of a hole in the wall… fuck it. That place was ratchet as hell and so were the people in there minus me and my date. Like if someone would’ve wanted Colt 45 the 40 oz. size, I’m pretty damn sure that beverage would have been provided with the brown paper bag to go with it. Now that I think about it I have no idea and no really good explanation as to why my high falutin ass was in there (yes, I know I’m somewhat bougie. Whatever I wear that title like an honor badge). Anyway so I’m sitting the bar, sipping on my vodka tonic looking at these old people step. Then the woman next to me taps me on my shoulder and this conversation happens. First let me describe what I had on. A floral blazer (it had pale pink, green, and cream in it), a white tank top, khaki shorts (and not coochie  cutter either), thick grey tights under the shorts, camel color mid- calf boots, and a  cream colored quilted chain linked purse.  

Somewhat Ratchet Woman: “Excuse me but how old are”?

Me: “Twenty blank, why”?

SRW: “Well, girl you’re just dressed all old-fashioned. You have on this floral blazer and tights…. I mean if the tights were fishnets, than it would’ve made the outfit alright.”

Me: “Ummmm okay”

SRW: “Girl you’re too young and pretty to be dressing like Rose from the Golden Girls, that ain’t hot!! You need to show more skin”.

She then points to my purse and says,

SRW: “You got this grandma looking ass pocket-book on… no boo”!!!

Me: “Okay, well your comments have been noted”.

By this time my date comes back from the bathroom and I conversation comes to a halt. Now this conversation is the most memorable thing about that night. Now hey my fashion sense ain’t for everybody, but I will say that when I went to Urban Outfitters earlier that day with the same outfit on  four people said they loved my blazer. I ‘m just saying !!!  I’ll take those people’s comments about my outfit any day over hers any day. I wasn’t mad, pissed off, or upset with what this woman said. I more amused by her than anything. Like can this woman (who told me she was 41) with her Iggy Azalea weave ponytail and House of Dereon/Apple Bottom/ Baby Phat/ Enyce O’ Couture outfit straight from your local Citi Trends, even dare tell me what’s hot in these fashion street. 

Lady, snatch every piece of your life back from this beautiful nightmare world you’re living in sponsored by the local Rainbow clothing store. This lady who had on Apple Bottom jeans, had the gall to tell me I was dressed like a Golden Girl. To which I say thanks, because I love the Golden Girls. Chile….. Fishnet stocking and khaki shorts??? How the fuck do these two things going together. Show some more skin??? Why bitch?? So I can look like a common street-walker like you?? First of all it was cold that night (it’s Chicago), I wasn’t going to the club, plus I came here with a man. Unlike her ass that was looking to catch one. This woman was basically telling me to dress like a hoodrat. Well sweet Madame, I maybe a lot of things but I hoodrat I am not. I listen to just as much Future, Travis Porter, and Gucci Mane as the next girl but I hoodrat I am not. That look maybe cute for you, but it’s not for me. So the next time certain people like SRW feel the urge to dispense fashion advice I’m going to her and people like her to read (not just look at the pictures) every Vogue and Harper’s Bazaar magazine for the last three years.