If It Makes You Happy

The clip above is from one of my all-time favorite TV shows Girlfriends…. I just wish the complete series wasn’t like $300 O_o @ Amazon. Anyway in this particular scene, it’s Toni Childs wedding day and her maid of honor (MOH) Joan Clayton is going around acting like a little bitch. See for those that haven’t seen this show or episode Hulu or YouTube is your friend. But here’s a little back story about what’s going on.

As I said Toni is getting married to a little (because he’s short) Jewish Doctor name Todd Garrett. See Toni in all her vain glory was thinking about getting some plastic surgery and he was her doctor. He basically told her to get the fuck out his office because there was nothing wrong with her being that she was beautiful already. So they don’t start dating immediately because Toni is shallow and Todd is short and those two things don’t mix very well. But one day he comes to her rescue (like they always do in real life, lol) and she start to look beyond his handicap of being short, to see he’s a really decent guy and they fall in love and shit. Well after dating for a few months Todd purposes to Toni and they’re getting married. This is where things start to fall apart for her bff Joan.

See Joan is the typical I want to get married and have babies type of girl, I do believe that on the show she had a wedding trunk. In this trunk there was all types of shit that a bridezilla would have, including a wedding dress. So now that her bff is getting married this has left Joan on the edge of glory and about to lose her damn mind. She’s in a relationship but the shit isn’t what one would say is solid like a rock. As her boyfriend just found out he’s former jump-off is pregnant, so as you can imagine Joan and her bf Ellis are going to some things. So now she’s faced with being the MOH to her bff, while her relationship is rolling in the deep. This is only compounds the fact that Joan is a wedding/marriage obsessed crazy bitch and now her friend is getting married, to a man she’s only been seeing for a few months….. this is where Joan becomes completely unhinged.   Well Joan begins to act crazy as hell, she’s tries to sabotage (by acting like a lunatic) her relationship with Ellis. She misses key parts of Toni’s wedding planning things. Such as coming late as hell to Toni’s rehearsal dinner and then leaving the wedding venue to go fix things between her and Ellis. Long story short Toni realizes Joan is being a real heffa hoe/bitch about her wedding. She politely tells Joan since she’s not happy about her wedding she doesn’t have to be there and rudely cuts her bridesmaids dress to shreds. In the end Toni and Joan make up and she and Ellis work things out. At least for that season because her and Ellis breakup for totally different reasons and she and Toni stop being friends for some other bullshit.

Well this post isn’t about a synopsis of Girlfriends season 3. This post is about Joan’s reaction to Toni’s exciting and happy news about her upcoming wedding. Joan’s reaction was classical haterism…. Shit she was at their engagement party asks Toni if she’s rushing into things. Not because she was really concerned about Toni’s decision to get married too quickly but because Toni was getting married and she wasn’t…. that my friends is hate.  Then at her cake tasting party (at Joan’s House) she’s telling Ellis to come get his shit (after they faux-broke-up) in the middle of the party. Why?? Because she was hating. She even admits this to Ellis, when he calls her out on her bs.  All the while damn near screaming “she’s happy for her friend”, as tears are rolling down her face because she realizes just how jealous of her friend she is. It’s a shame, a damn shame I say.  See we all have a Joan in our lives (whether we care to admit it or not ), she’s your friend, sister, coworker, cousin, hell it maybe your mama. I have a Joan or two and although these person aren’t completely a waste of a human being because they do have some really good qualities that make them good people and friends. They have this one fatal flaw and it’s their inner hater. See the inner hater may not raise its head all the time because the Joan in your life knows how to keep it in check for the most part. But then something happens in your life and that inner hater can’t be contained. It comes out with the fury of Nicki Minaj stans after she deleted her twitter account, it’s like a category 5 hurricane.

The inner hater in them won’t allow them to be truly happy for you because you’re getting married, having a baby, got a new job, got the last mint green sorbet nail polish at target, whatever the fuck it is. These people aren’t the everyday haters you deal with, like that bitchass coworker that tried to throw you under the bus in the weekly meetings. No ma’am/sir… this person is your friend, bff, homie, buddy. In my opinion these people are the worse than the typical haters because as your friend they’re supposed to wish you well but they don’t. they should be happy for you but they aren’t. They over there wishing it was them instead of you or wondering what makes you so damn special that things great things are happening to you.  They may say they’re happy for you but you know deep down inside that shit is eating them up…. They’re hating!! They don’t wish you well because they can’t, they may honestly really want to be happy for you. But something in their genetic makeup just won’t allow them….it’s a fatal flaw. They hate on people that are they’re friends and people they claim to love because something deep in their bones just can’t allow them to be happy about their friend’s happiness. Their eyes are green and it’s not because they eat a lot of vegetables… shot out to Erykah Badu. You have to able to identify these kind of people in your lives… there are no real tell-tell signs. This person could be your friend for 17 years and if your ass ups and gets married or something, they may just show their ass like Joan. You just have to keep you spidey sense updated and know when someone isn’t really there for your happiness. With that kind of haterism there’s no concealing that for too long, so you’ll know. I’m not saying you need to drop this person from your like Kanye wanted to drop Kris Humphries from the Nets because he is/was in love with Kim K. I’m just saying be aware of these types of people sometimes your biggest hater is right their kicking it with you. So be mindful and that’s their issue not yours and if you need to check their asses like Toni did with Joan, then so be.