Its About Forgiveness

I used to be one not big on forgiveness, I was of those people that held on to grudges like Lebron is trying to hold on to his hairline. You know, if I got into it with a person and it got to the point where I didn't want to even talk to the person, said person was dead to me. No matter how much the other party was willing to make amends, I just wouldn't have any part in that. I would just stay mad at them and even when my anger towards them subsided, I still put up a front towards them because in mind my reconciling with them would mean they won. I just couldn't give them that satisfaction, what can I say I'm a Taurus and I'm stubborn like that.

Then one day I kind of had an epiphany, with the help of my mom. See me and my real dad don't have the best relationship. So without really going into the semantics of our relationship, let's just say there's some huge cultural differences (my dad's Nigerian). Me and him didn't speak to one another for about four years, I remember one time he called my house and wanted to talk to my mom, I answered the phone and took the message he wanted to pass along to my mom. And during this 1 minute exchange neither one of us acknowledged one another, he might as well had been talking to an answering machine. There was no how are our you doing on both of our parts, in fact I don't even think I said bye I just hung up and I never do that. Even after I guess my dad got over his anger and decided to call me on my 21st birthday, I was still angry and I just pretended not to be when we would speak. I just wasn't ready to let go of my anger. I guess he realized that and we spoke less and less, until we weren't speaking at all again. One day my mom told me I had to forgive him and let go of my anger, and that doing that would set me free. It may not make my relationship with him better but it would make me better, because carrying all the anger wasn't healthy and it just took entirely too much energy. So I let go of it and I'm not saying me and my dad's relationship is great, but at least I don't want to hang up the phone when he calls. That's progress people.

When you forgive somebody, there's always the chance they may or may not forgive you back. So don't do it to get back into that person's good graces. Do it for yourself. When you stay mad or carry around grudges against someone, you allow that person to have power over you, even if that person or you doesn't realize they have this power or not, its there. When you roll your eyes whenever someone mentions their name or how you give them the silent treatment when you're in their presence, that's the power they have over you and that's energy you're wasting on someone that may or may not be worth it. So my suggestion is to just build a bridge and get over it, forgive that person and let it go. No matter how big or small their transgression may be. You don't even have to tell that person you forgave them, nor do you have to be friends with them after you forgive them. Just get past the anger and the hurt and keep it moving. Folks say life is a journey, so travel light it'll make life easier.